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Venting I have a condition (in addition to my disability) where I moan, laugh, hum, and mumble in my sleep since i was 12

TheGrayWolf

TheGrayWolf

1/10 | 5'4 | I am Tired and I am weak
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They always say it’s "long lasting" but wtf does that mean? I’ve had it for 14 years now. But, I’ll never have a girl in my (or a) bed anyway, so does it matter? It’s further suicide fuel being poured into the fire I guess. I’m the fire.

Once on a school trip back in high school I was in a room with like 8 other boys, and one woke me up and said "hush". I recorded myself yesterday and I literally hum, laugh, moan sexually (I don’t dream of sex), and talk/mumble incoherently, sometimes coherently, I’m worried I gave away secrets or say stuff that’s not even true about me. Like when I slept in hotel room with mum and sister a few years ago

 
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@Intellau_Celistic
 
Have you tried sleep medication? :feelsjuice:
 
Have you tried sleep medication? :feelsjuice:
Haha. Doesn’t help. What might help in some people (though this is v rare so not researched well) is a machine that id have to wear during sleep. FML. Really. If I do get a gf before I’m 30 (after it’s really over), and getting one now till I’m 30 I have a 1 in 100,000 chance, I’ll have to explain the thousands of dots on my body and that I hum at night. I hate my life
 
@Intellau_Celistic

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Sexsomnia


SS1


Chadlito, however, was much more subtle. He would peak into my room and, on occasion, steal my items. He also liked to gossip about me("He's a weirdo", "He's a freak", "He puts food in bags and goes outside to eat alone") and especially loved recording me. This led to him recording me while I was sleeping(I have sexsomnia), which led to the shelter boys/girls laughing at my "sexual speech". Note that the shelter girls had already mocked me previously for my feminine voice and autistic, avoidant behavior.

Because my case manager divulged my ASD diagnosis freely, I was a prime target for bullying and abuse from other youth. Chadlito eventually tried to have me evicted from the commune, which happened after I started staying in my commune room most of the time to avoid being shoved into desks by him(Demonstrating his "machismo" against an innocent aspie).

It is painful to have ASD, MDD, GAD, PTSD(It was already present from childhood trauma), and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria/RSD. I would've likely roped if not for my obsessive fantasizing from ASD.

I've experienced this "firsthand"; a psychiatric nurse said "Hello Su" to me because I was fidgeting with a pencil in my hospital room. This is despite the fact that ASD-related fidgeting was already documented in my mental health history. I am a short ethnic male.

enjoyed three luxurious stays in the same psychiatric hospital. Each time, she was treated like a deity by hospital staff.

And of-course, there was group therapy. I've explained that already

Hello.

I'm not schizophrenic, but I do have ASD. I suffer from parasomnia/sexsomnia and experience involuntary sexual behaviors(masturbation, sexual sleep-talking, sleeping with one leg crouched in the air) during sleep because of it. This resulted in people recording me and laughing at me while I was sleeping(Having a nightmare of group therapy), which made me afraid to sleep in the presence of others.

I had to isolate myself inside a relative's basement out of fear of being recorded again by strangers. It's another gift of neuro-atypicality.

Exactly. This was evident to me when the male youth living in the same commune as me would walk by my room door each night and mock me with the sexual language I used while sleeping. They also would deliberately slam their room doors as hard as possible to startle me since I have chronic anxiety from autism.

"Damn baby"

"Oh yes"

"Damn sweetie"

"Looks like we've got a mouse in the house"(Chadlito said this because I was isolating myself in my commune room due to embarrassment. I would wrap a belt/blanket around my body to prevent sleep-masturbation.)

"Wow, Intellau didn't go outside to eat today"(Yes, I remained in my room without eating; it was habitual by that point)

Chadlito personally walked by my door and said, "So you don't like women riding?" in a cocky tone, and then went into his room laughing.

Stress only worsened my sexsomnia...

True. In the past, I had nightmares involving my "oneitis".

I remember the day I discovered I had sexsomnia - I was having a depressing dream of group therapy and woke up after hearing laughter from the male youth outside my door.

Yes...quite unfortunate.

When I moved into my apartment, I heard the tenants below me moaning and groaning at night. They also laughed at my sleep-talking and played recordings of my voice in the hallway.
 
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