I hate seeing how other people just «magically» got glow ups while I didnt.
Its selfish I know, but I dont really care. I’ll see a post about how someone went from being ugly to handsome through their teen years and it’ll just piss me off. I have never looked good and probably never will. Seeing how others got to rise up out of that without doing anything for it just makes me ask why this couldnt happen to me. When I was around 14-16 I used to get bullied a lot for being ugly to the point where people would tell me to hang myself because of how my face looked on a daily basis. I was pretty suicidal during this time. I was a very skinny and underweight kid so there wasnt much I could do about this as the bullies were much bigger than me. I remember how every day I used to try convincing myself that when I grew older I would look better, because I had seen other peoples transformations online, but of course this never happened. Now a few years later I hate having people look in my direction, I feel like they want to say the same things the bullies back in school used to say. Seeing others just grow up and get glow ups makes this feeling worse. It pisses me off because I always wanted that to be me. I used to sit there late at night every day hoping that I would get to look good some day. I know why Im ugly, a combination of malnutrition and sub par genetics, but it still enrages me knowing that others grew up like me but got to escape. I feel like its unfair. I feel like I was left behind in some way, like the universe just wanted my face to stay underdeveloped. It feels like punishment for a crime I didnt commit.
I also really hate seeing these people talk about how they were bullied in school. They have no clue what it feels like to still be stuck at that level as you get older. They got to grow up and get compliments and attention. I didnt. If I woke up beautiful tomorrow I wouldnt go around trying to collect pity from strangers online, Id just be thrilled I finally got to experience being looked at without some sort of disgust.
Its selfish I know, but I dont really care. I’ll see a post about how someone went from being ugly to handsome through their teen years and it’ll just piss me off. I have never looked good and probably never will. Seeing how others got to rise up out of that without doing anything for it just makes me ask why this couldnt happen to me. When I was around 14-16 I used to get bullied a lot for being ugly to the point where people would tell me to hang myself because of how my face looked on a daily basis. I was pretty suicidal during this time. I was a very skinny and underweight kid so there wasnt much I could do about this as the bullies were much bigger than me. I remember how every day I used to try convincing myself that when I grew older I would look better, because I had seen other peoples transformations online, but of course this never happened. Now a few years later I hate having people look in my direction, I feel like they want to say the same things the bullies back in school used to say. Seeing others just grow up and get glow ups makes this feeling worse. It pisses me off because I always wanted that to be me. I used to sit there late at night every day hoping that I would get to look good some day. I know why Im ugly, a combination of malnutrition and sub par genetics, but it still enrages me knowing that others grew up like me but got to escape. I feel like its unfair. I feel like I was left behind in some way, like the universe just wanted my face to stay underdeveloped. It feels like punishment for a crime I didnt commit.
I also really hate seeing these people talk about how they were bullied in school. They have no clue what it feels like to still be stuck at that level as you get older. They got to grow up and get compliments and attention. I didnt. If I woke up beautiful tomorrow I wouldnt go around trying to collect pity from strangers online, Id just be thrilled I finally got to experience being looked at without some sort of disgust.
