J
Why is my life such shit? I never met my parents, my grandfather raised me until I was 16 years old and he passed away one day after my birthday. I didn't even have the money to pay for his funeral, so I had to cremate his body, and they wouldn't give me the remains because I couldn't afford to pay. I simply "said, oh, yes, that's fine" because I'm a coward who didn't even have the will to protest for my grandfather's remains. I hate myself so deeply. Why do people simply ignore me when they see me? Why did I have to be bullied throughout all my time in school? I couldn't even finish it because the harassment was excessive and I couldn't bear it, so I just locked myself in my house because I didn't even know how to work, since it was my grandfather who supported me. Women don't even look at me, and when I talk to them, they always look at me with disgust or excessive disinterest, even though I don't even try to flirt with them because I know I wouldn't have any chance. Men don't even respect me, nor do I have the will to even try because I know they would hit me and destroy me in a second if I tried to defend myself (which has already happened). I am 22 years old now and my life has only gone from bad to worse. I'm not always this frustrated because I just work and come home, but today I had a shitty situation and remembered the stench I drag at my feet. I'm just shit that I wouldn't even try to commit suicide, even though I know I should. I have no reason to live, I'm just so cowardly that I know I couldn't. Why life just made me this way, I am the genetic waste that should never have been born. Sorry if this isn't the right place to write this spam, but I needed to say it
