topdown
manlet brony
★★★
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2021
- Posts
- 240
since this is my first post on the forum, i'd like to give you all some background as to who i am. a lot of people come on this forum to bitch about their problems and i am no different. my life has been miserable for as long as i can remember. being beat by my parents, living in a shitty poorcel house, being shot, and drug/alcohol addiction to name a few. being black in america (yes u can call me a nigger im used to it) has to be one of the worst things ever. im unable to get a job because "nobody wants a monkey on the team", unable to walk into a store without buying something even though i have almost no money to spend, and so much more that i really dont feel like covering. it makes me really fucking miserable especially when i see these white normans around me living their best life.
a few years ago, my mom passed away and i have been in my lowest point ever since because she was the only person to ever give me physical touch, which i desperately crave to this day. im not a very social person and its difficult for me to interact with others due to my anxiety and dumbass fucking stutter that everyone laughs at whenever i try to speak. ive really never had anybody to guide me in life, most boys my age had a father present in their life and from what ive heard had their father guide them throughout life. although i live with my father now, hes old and senile and too busy doing drugs to pay me any mind. i spend most of my time in my room not doing much of anything. i dont play video games anymore and i have no motivation to get on my computer.
in my experience, having no goal in life is honestly one of the worst things that could happen to you. it makes you feel so drowsy and unmotivated to do anything. especially with the crushing feeling of having not a single notification on your phone except for the sms messages texting you about someone trying to login to your gmail from india. i wake up in the morning and just stare at the ceiling. i have no motivation to interact with others, because i know the outcome. no motivation to learn anything new, because i will always be outshined by chads. im really disappointed in the way i turned out because i really grew up thinking i could be somebody in the world. i want to leave an impact but everything ive tried just leads to disappointment and misery. constantly in a state of disappointment. disappointed of myself, my living coniditons, and how i let myself fall into this blackpilled mentality.
i wanna live a normal life. i wanna be happy and find a woman (not a stupid foid) who really loves me and my interests and can look past my flaws. i wanna live in a nice house, have people to go out with. i wanna be good at something. i wanna leave my mark on the world but everything ive tried is not for me. waking up in the morning having nothing to do is honestly one of the worst feelings. i just want something that will make people interested in me. i miss the feeling of touch. i wanna be like the normans, or at least be able to fit in with them. they all live their best lives and the only thing they need to cry over is if they're able to buy a ps5 and a nintendo switch for christmas. i wish my existence wasnt so pointless, and i wish someone noticed me.
if u guys have gone through something similar please tell me how you brightened your life im honestly at my breaking point
a few years ago, my mom passed away and i have been in my lowest point ever since because she was the only person to ever give me physical touch, which i desperately crave to this day. im not a very social person and its difficult for me to interact with others due to my anxiety and dumbass fucking stutter that everyone laughs at whenever i try to speak. ive really never had anybody to guide me in life, most boys my age had a father present in their life and from what ive heard had their father guide them throughout life. although i live with my father now, hes old and senile and too busy doing drugs to pay me any mind. i spend most of my time in my room not doing much of anything. i dont play video games anymore and i have no motivation to get on my computer.
in my experience, having no goal in life is honestly one of the worst things that could happen to you. it makes you feel so drowsy and unmotivated to do anything. especially with the crushing feeling of having not a single notification on your phone except for the sms messages texting you about someone trying to login to your gmail from india. i wake up in the morning and just stare at the ceiling. i have no motivation to interact with others, because i know the outcome. no motivation to learn anything new, because i will always be outshined by chads. im really disappointed in the way i turned out because i really grew up thinking i could be somebody in the world. i want to leave an impact but everything ive tried just leads to disappointment and misery. constantly in a state of disappointment. disappointed of myself, my living coniditons, and how i let myself fall into this blackpilled mentality.
i wanna live a normal life. i wanna be happy and find a woman (not a stupid foid) who really loves me and my interests and can look past my flaws. i wanna live in a nice house, have people to go out with. i wanna be good at something. i wanna leave my mark on the world but everything ive tried is not for me. waking up in the morning having nothing to do is honestly one of the worst feelings. i just want something that will make people interested in me. i miss the feeling of touch. i wanna be like the normans, or at least be able to fit in with them. they all live their best lives and the only thing they need to cry over is if they're able to buy a ps5 and a nintendo switch for christmas. i wish my existence wasnt so pointless, and i wish someone noticed me.
if u guys have gone through something similar please tell me how you brightened your life im honestly at my breaking point