Venting I hate being happy

[ColdLightOfDay]

I do not like being happy. I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous but I can explain.

Some days I just feel happy, like earlier today I was walking to work and I just felt upbeat about the day, none of my usual worries were getting me down and there was just a general ambience of positivity in the air and the future was not looming like a dark cloud on the horizon in front of me as it usually does.

The reason I hate this is that I now feel absolutely horrible, worse than usual. It’s as if for some unknown reason my neurochemistry cocoons me from negativity for a short period in order to stop me from offing myself and I feel (at least bodily) at peace. Then when this effect subsides I have to reacclimatise to my former state and this period of transition is always more painful than what I am normally used to.

I would prefer to never be happy and stay within a stagnant state of emotionally unresponsive malaise than have to go through this exhausting process of peak and trough that leaves me destitute when I come out the other side.

Anyone else feel this?

 

[TheSecondComing]

Anyone else feel this?

Absolutely not, being happy is such a rare yet enjoyable fleeting feeling, way better than being indifferent or feeling negative emotions.

 

[CameronCel]

I wouldn't know.

I haven't been truly happy since I was a child.

I don't know what that feeling is like anymore, tbh.

As an adult, I only feel "not sad", which is very rare for me. Happiness as a feeling is a foreign concept to me now.

 

[ColdLightOfDay]

I wouldn't know.

I haven't been truly happy since I was a child.

I don't know what that feeling is like anymore, tbh.

As an adult, I only feel "not sad". Happiness as a feeling is a foreign concept to me now.

It feels artificial, maybe that is why I dislike it.

 

[Player]

Being happy is super rare for me but I can relate. It is like life let you see one ray of light, so darkness can be darker for you later.

 

[ColdLightOfDay]

Absolutely not, being happy is such a rare yet enjoyable fleeting feeling, way better than being indifferent or feeling negative emotions.

If it lasted it would be great but you said it yourself, the fact it is always fleeting makes me extremely uncomfortable, Id rather stay somewhere in the middle than go from high to low.

 

[jackwolfskin999]

Being gl is the happiness I want to feel

 

[ColdLightOfDay]

Being happy is super rare for me but I can relate. It is like life let you see one ray of light, so darkness can be darker for you later.

Exactly, well put.

 

[johnnyb]

I only feel happy maybe 10 minutes per month.

 

[Insomniac]

I wouldn't know.

 

[Salustio]

I don't care if I sound offensive to you. You need basic life coach advices.

 

[ihaveno1]

I wouldn't know.

I haven't been truly happy since I was a child.

 

[ColdLightOfDay]

I don't care if I sound offensive to you. You need basic life coach advices.

You don’t sound offensive, I’ve been in therapy and I hate it. It’s not for me.

 

[Dionysus]

i've never heard of people feeling this way