Im so fucking tired of this Life
ever since puberty hit me , i have been shamed , ridiculed and rejected everywhere i went .
Even before that , i was an outcast with zero friends .
School was the worst ,
prior to school i actually had some kind of self worth and positive outlook on Life .
But they made sure to make me remember that im a worthless piece of human trash , a waste of air who doesnt deserve anything .
They made sure that i know my place in Life .
they pushed me into this corner
and i almost snapped .
Kinda regret now that i didnt do it tbh ,
wouldve been great to go out with a bang when i still had it in me .
Nowadays im just a depressed husk who isnt a danger to anyone .
instead of taking revenge , i internalized my shame and became my own worst enemy .
i was backed into a corner and i had the chance to fight ,
but instead i turned to myself , i hid my pain and my anger and tried to bear it .
I was beaten , laughed at and i had nowhere to go .
My parsnts being to focused on screaming at each other or fighting with my siblings .
All alone in this hostile world since i was born .
and now im a 23 year old kissless , hugless , handholdingless virgin who never had a single friend and is so beaten down by depression that he barely manages to do the most basic things .
And if i seek help , they just give me some happy pills and sent me on my way .
And i cant even act like a Man ,
cause im a manlet .
im not a real man .
im ok , as long as i dont misbehave ,
but as soon as i question the status quo
and try to stand up to someone whos taller than me ,
i literally get laughed at .
Just look at this babyfaced manlet ,
hes trying to act like a grown up now Hahahahaah so funny lets all laugh at this silly little jester .
Stay in your lane .
Dont say a wrong word .
Act normal and dont misbehave .
This World is against you and they will make you feel it , if you try to stand up .
i cant take this much longer .
i started coughing and spitting blood in the sink recently ,
so i guess i dont have much time left anyway .
I hope its lung cancer and i hope ill die from it .
I wont even go to the doctor .
I just want to lay down and suffer til its over .
or maybe ill kill myself before that .
whatever .
just some venting on the only place where someone actually listens to me .
or maybe not , maybe just post didnt read and postmaxx .
A board of hopeless losers .
saddens me .
ever since puberty hit me , i have been shamed , ridiculed and rejected everywhere i went .
Even before that , i was an outcast with zero friends .
School was the worst ,
prior to school i actually had some kind of self worth and positive outlook on Life .
But they made sure to make me remember that im a worthless piece of human trash , a waste of air who doesnt deserve anything .
They made sure that i know my place in Life .
they pushed me into this corner
and i almost snapped .
Kinda regret now that i didnt do it tbh ,
wouldve been great to go out with a bang when i still had it in me .
Nowadays im just a depressed husk who isnt a danger to anyone .
instead of taking revenge , i internalized my shame and became my own worst enemy .
i was backed into a corner and i had the chance to fight ,
but instead i turned to myself , i hid my pain and my anger and tried to bear it .
I was beaten , laughed at and i had nowhere to go .
My parsnts being to focused on screaming at each other or fighting with my siblings .
All alone in this hostile world since i was born .
and now im a 23 year old kissless , hugless , handholdingless virgin who never had a single friend and is so beaten down by depression that he barely manages to do the most basic things .
And if i seek help , they just give me some happy pills and sent me on my way .
And i cant even act like a Man ,
cause im a manlet .
im not a real man .
im ok , as long as i dont misbehave ,
but as soon as i question the status quo
and try to stand up to someone whos taller than me ,
i literally get laughed at .
Just look at this babyfaced manlet ,
hes trying to act like a grown up now Hahahahaah so funny lets all laugh at this silly little jester .
Stay in your lane .
Dont say a wrong word .
Act normal and dont misbehave .
This World is against you and they will make you feel it , if you try to stand up .
i cant take this much longer .
i started coughing and spitting blood in the sink recently ,
so i guess i dont have much time left anyway .
I hope its lung cancer and i hope ill die from it .
I wont even go to the doctor .
I just want to lay down and suffer til its over .
or maybe ill kill myself before that .
whatever .
just some venting on the only place where someone actually listens to me .
or maybe not , maybe just post didnt read and postmaxx .
A board of hopeless losers .
saddens me .
