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I feel like an outcast no matter where I go – even on here. Not because the users themselves are bad or anything but because I'm so out of touch after all these years of isolation and therefore struggle to connect. No hobbies, not many interesting experiences. In order to "improve my personality", I know I should find a hobby (unless you count watching porn, napping, LDAR in my free time as hobbies), and I have in fact tried many things, but it never really came to me naturally.
Understanding human interaction still remains an age-old unsolved mystery for me, even with people online. I'm passable at surface-level interactions, but not much more. What are the right things to say? – I usually don't know. What do I want to say? – I only have a feel for it, but often times can't put it into words. I also quickly feel worn-out from talking. Ironic, considering it's the one thing I crave the most.
I like that we can say whatever we want here on .is, and as such this is the only kind of place I could have a chance of fitting in. And to be fair, this is the only place I've experienced people actually sort of noticing me occasionally, so have to admit that this is one of the best sites for outcasts. For the first time I have felt like I existed – if only a little. I guess I can also admit that I've been lucky to talk to certain users on here somewhat regularly, which I truly appreciate a lot, even if they don't view it the same way. However, my personality is that of a brick wall. Hence, I ultimately struggle with conversing with them too, which ruins it. Not to mention I'm likely low IQ, which exacerbates the problem.
I'm desperate for attention, which I've always been. The desperation has followed me since forever. When I for the first time in years experienced getting a drop of attention on here, I then desperately started chasing it by spamming dumb posts on .is all day for a while. Nonetheless, I would eventually realize the attention was mostly short-lived – this because I am for the most part unable to keep a conversation going, let alone start one properly.
Again, I can't blame a single soul on this site, so hope no one takes it this way. All I'm saying is that there is something inherently wrong with me, like I'm cursed when it comes to "socializing".
Understanding human interaction still remains an age-old unsolved mystery for me, even with people online. I'm passable at surface-level interactions, but not much more. What are the right things to say? – I usually don't know. What do I want to say? – I only have a feel for it, but often times can't put it into words. I also quickly feel worn-out from talking. Ironic, considering it's the one thing I crave the most.
I like that we can say whatever we want here on .is, and as such this is the only kind of place I could have a chance of fitting in. And to be fair, this is the only place I've experienced people actually sort of noticing me occasionally, so have to admit that this is one of the best sites for outcasts. For the first time I have felt like I existed – if only a little. I guess I can also admit that I've been lucky to talk to certain users on here somewhat regularly, which I truly appreciate a lot, even if they don't view it the same way. However, my personality is that of a brick wall. Hence, I ultimately struggle with conversing with them too, which ruins it. Not to mention I'm likely low IQ, which exacerbates the problem.
I'm desperate for attention, which I've always been. The desperation has followed me since forever. When I for the first time in years experienced getting a drop of attention on here, I then desperately started chasing it by spamming dumb posts on .is all day for a while. Nonetheless, I would eventually realize the attention was mostly short-lived – this because I am for the most part unable to keep a conversation going, let alone start one properly.
Again, I can't blame a single soul on this site, so hope no one takes it this way. All I'm saying is that there is something inherently wrong with me, like I'm cursed when it comes to "socializing".
Good point
