I can't stand being around good looking people

[deleuzian chud]

Every time I meet someone good looking, male or female, I know for a fact that they had a normal childhood, weren't bullied/ostracized, hit all their developmental goals, have a social circle. These people literally live in a different world from us. It pisses me off seeing right in front of me the kind of life that would be waiting for me if my bones were a few millimeters thicker, if my scalp had a few less androgen receptors, if my brain produced a bit more dopamine. It tears me apart seeing people for whom life isn't an endless cycle of suffering, of trying your best to stay afloat and getting dragged back every time you see a sliver of light, of being stuck inside your head and destroying yourself from the inside.

Every time I interact with these people they are genuinely nice, and I know that for the most part they aren't looking down on me, at least not on purpose. And the way they speak, it tells me how different we are. No good looking person could ever begin to fathom what kind of lives we lead. Since our birth we have been punched down the the exact same society that protects this people, gives them love and nurture and tells them that they are important, that they deserve to live. And whenever we encounter something that we would call once in a lifetime, to these people it's just an everyday occurrence.

I'd prefer being an npc-tier braindead low-ltn over my nd self. At the very least you can betabux and have a job. They probably get honeymoon sex and pity sex for the next 10 years. My body and brain are always destroying itself and I can't seem to coax them to work with me to try to at least have some semblance of a life.

 

[deleuzian chud]

Also after Netflix added anime to their catalogs, all anime events have been infested with young, good looking NT zoomers and their girlfriends. These people have never been bullied just for having interests. On the contrary anime is cool now, and they're good looking so when they want to cosplay they'll get likes on instagram. Meanwhile we got bullied in school for being slightly different, and these events were the only times we could sperg out and not be bullied. But in the end these zoomers are still gonna look down on us lol.

 

[Animecel2D]

I want these scum to be as miserable as me

 

[captchawaffen]

I hate everyone who looks better than me

 

[harvomarvo]

That's one of the things I'm trying to get better at. I know that because people are more attractive than me, I'll be treated differently. Though I have been treated kindly, as I have treated others, I know what is in their hearts. I know what they truly think. It isn't just looks, though looks are important. They are given a decent to good family, a good environment, and receive positive affirmations, so they don't feel insecure about themselves like we do.

We, or at least I, criticize every minute detail. I always assume the worst because it's recurring; they assume the decent to the best. It's a waste to feel self-pity, so I try not to think too much about it.

 

[deleuzian chud]

We, or at least I, criticize every minute detail. I always assume the worst because it's recurring; they assume the decent to the best. It's a waste to feel self-pity, so I try not to think too much about it.

Yup. Good lifers. My first blackpillers before I knew it were my parents. They always assumed the worst in me. I remember a friend in high school had his dad drive us home and seeing the way he could talk to his dad as if he was talking to a friend made me realise how different and incompatible I was with other people. I think for me no amount of compassion or whatever is going to fix how I see the world. But yes I would like to stop assuming the worst from people. Being as negative as I've been has destroyed my social life. Or more precisely prevented me from having one.