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View: https://www.reddit.com/r/interracialdating/comments/ikptda/white_m_and_black_f_marriage_and_hair_washing/
White M and black F marriage and hair washing
Hi I'm a white male and been in an interracial marriage for 4 years and dated 3 years before that.
To summarize, my wife washes her hair once every two weeks and it smells bad after about one week from not washing and working etc. Smells great after washing.
She says she cannot wash more often than 1x per 2 wk because it will dry out or damage her hair and that these restrictions relate specifically to it being black hair. It only seems to happen when she works because when covid hit and she was home 24 7...the issue stopped like magic and resumed after she went back to work (at a different job) The job is indoors and not physical.
There have been periods where she seemed to have it under control and periods in the marriage where I have basically lived at my office or in my car because of it.
I'm dont know how to address this issue anymore with her as you will read below. That is what I need help with.
It smells good when washes. When it smells I cannot be in the same room or car sometimes. Forget about sex. We have sex about 5 times a year. There is a lot of resentment around this issue on both sides. We dont talk for days sometimes because of it.
I love her but i dont know how long I can live this way. I've spent thousands in hair salon gift cards that will wash it for her but that is not sustainable.
I'm literally in therapy because of this issue.
I dont know how to talk about it with her anymore because nothing changes and talking about it just hurts her feelngs and we dont speak for a week after it comes up. So I live isolated in the same house from her and she from I.
This is going to destroy our marriage and I'm clueless as to how to fix it or address it. I need help.
