At the end of last year, I was dealt a blow so singular that it has no true precedent. This was already documented in the following thread, although it rambled a bit due to the state I was in: https://incels.is/threads/ill-information.825179/
TL;DR — I met an extremely cute girl working as a hostess at a restaurant last January (no longer there), and became rather fixated on her. In the final days of December, I finally succeeded in finding out who she was online. The excitement was short-lived however, because the next day, I combed her tiktok and found she had a boyfriend.
Now I am no stranger to seeing devastating couples, and over time I have gained strength; usually after at most a day I am back to equilibrium and whatever I was working on. This time has been different. I can't get it out of the back of my mind even when I try to enjoy other things. I feel cucked on an unreal level.
The moment I realized I was really not recovering was when I went back to her tiktok, and from an associated account, found an extremely brutal clip: the girl, her friends, and the boyfriend were having a big HS reunion in the winter break (the couple is graduated), dancing and living the carefree neurotypical life, while I rot in my room with zero social circle and next to no independence. Bizarrely,
In rationalizing why this abased me so severely, I noted the confluence of three factors: (1) They were a HS couple, not even met in college; (2) I had personal connection to the situation; (3) I was invested in the actual girl herself. Beyond this, they were the precise racial combination to provide a self-insert, and the idyllic location of their HS campus (a place I even envied when cycling past it) added insult to injury. These people didn't just start winning one day… their entire history is one colossal life-mog. The new year already has a wet blanket over it on account of this, and I am not sure how to stop it
@Tšuudi @Dead End @Belowthesalt
TL;DR — I met an extremely cute girl working as a hostess at a restaurant last January (no longer there), and became rather fixated on her. In the final days of December, I finally succeeded in finding out who she was online. The excitement was short-lived however, because the next day, I combed her tiktok and found she had a boyfriend.
Now I am no stranger to seeing devastating couples, and over time I have gained strength; usually after at most a day I am back to equilibrium and whatever I was working on. This time has been different. I can't get it out of the back of my mind even when I try to enjoy other things. I feel cucked on an unreal level.
The moment I realized I was really not recovering was when I went back to her tiktok, and from an associated account, found an extremely brutal clip: the girl, her friends, and the boyfriend were having a big HS reunion in the winter break (the couple is graduated), dancing and living the carefree neurotypical life, while I rot in my room with zero social circle and next to no independence. Bizarrely,
I noticed in this clip at a point, the boyfriend grabs at her throat as if sexually choking her (ON CAMERA) and one of the friends sort of dives in the way of the lens to obscure the uncouth action.
In rationalizing why this abased me so severely, I noted the confluence of three factors: (1) They were a HS couple, not even met in college; (2) I had personal connection to the situation; (3) I was invested in the actual girl herself. Beyond this, they were the precise racial combination to provide a self-insert, and the idyllic location of their HS campus (a place I even envied when cycling past it) added insult to injury. These people didn't just start winning one day… their entire history is one colossal life-mog. The new year already has a wet blanket over it on account of this, and I am not sure how to stop it
@Tšuudi @Dead End @Belowthesalt
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