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Serious How I was in my bluepilled days, and how I view sex now.

TheDarkEnigma

TheDarkEnigma

St. JackieArklövcel
★★★★★
Joined
Sep 10, 2019
Posts
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Online
329d 5h 32m
During my bluepilled days, starting from the end of elementary school up through most of high school I was a hopeless romantic. I used to have high hopes in getting a girlfriend and having my first kiss now that I was becoming a teenager.

I was mostly around peers who were a bit older than me at school because I technically skipped two grades and placed in high school classes when I was in 7th and 8th grade, and so I had oneitis for many different girls though I got rejected every time.

I was also a male feminist back then and believed that women were attracted to virtue and chivalry, to put girls on a pedestal and view them in a good light, and that "true beauty comes from the inside" rhetoric. I used to view sex and romantic attraction differently; I did view porn (mostly softcore stuff) back then but I thought only a few females were sexual but most good girls were morally virtuous and innocent and wanted men who were emotionally sensitive and treated them right, and that hookup culture was sexist, hedonistic and lacked emotional meaning. I was afraid of being seen as misogynistic, and that included viewing women sexually. I literally viewed women as goddesses back then, that they can do no wrong and that their beauty should be worshipped.

I actually didn't felt horny for a oneitis or that I desire to have sex with them, but more like I wanted companionship and someone I can hang out with at a park or by the sea for example, and someone I can hug and hold hands and cuddle with. You can say I had a Madonna complex for every girl I was attracted to at school, and I would get obsessions where a oneitis was the most perfect girl there was and that there is no other girl as beautiful as her.

I wasn't focused so much on sex and virginity, and more on having a first kiss because I viewed that as the ultimate display of affection from what I watched on TV and movies. I did viewed kissing as more of an emotional act rather than a sexual one.

I was much more obsessed with my appearance and I wasn't fat like I am now. I lost a lot of weight and got fit because I was vegetarian at the time. I grew my hair out into an Afro, put on cologne and wore a suit and tie every day to impress girls. I would listen to love songs while I was thinking of a oneitis and I even wrote my own love songs and play them on my ukulele and write poems and stuff, and I would also watch videos on how to attract girls and tried to jestermaxx.

As I got older and the more rejections I got, I realized that my efforts were in vain, and I also realized that girls weren't as innocent as they seemed. I first got into the redpill/blackpill right before my senior year of high school, when one of my friends introduced me to it. At first I started watching pick-up and MGTOW videos and then videos from channels like FACEandLMS and Sandman. Around the same time I was lurking around this forum and I also got blackpilled from 4chan.

When I first joined this forum, I still held on to bluepilled beliefs and I still didn't want to see myself as misogynistic. Though overtime my beliefs would change for the better as I learn more and more about women's nature and what they are really attracted to. I learned not to worry about thinking things or saying things that are offensive to other people even if they are based on truths, so it helped desocialize my thoughts on women.

Like I knew women cared about men's appearances to some extent, I've always wanted to be fit and muscular especially since I've always been insecure about my body considering that I was obese as a kid. I lost weight in my teen years when I became vegetarian but I've gained it all back since graduating high school. I still believed that personality, virtue and a sense of humor also impacted attractiveness. And me seeing them as the empathetic gender, I though they can look past a man's looks if he had a good personality and wasn't a jerk. I didn't knew that face and height were very important factors, and that women placed high standards on traits that are genetically acquired and not just things you could improve upon.

I realized now that there's no such thing as a "good girl", that virtually all females are sluts in someway and even the most innocent looking foids in the street (the shy nerd girl in class, the school teacher, the nurse, etc.) probably got railed by Chad. A man can be a total asshole and still get validation from women just for being tall and good-looking. Me at 5'4 isn't going to get that type of attention, no matter how much "self-improvement" I do. I also realize that it's impossible for a woman to be single and that every woman is already taken, not that "there's always someone for everyone" and that "there is plenty of fish in the sea". I've also become bitter and cynical about humanity and life in general.

I remember looking through the social media of my former female classmates, a lot of them have started to whore themselves out online and have OnlyFans and a lot of them already have kids. Meanwhile the friends that I still have from high school are all virgins.

I don't put women on a pedestal anymore. I am still sexually attracted to them of course, but beyond that I see women as just mortal human sacks of flesh who are all sexual beings and are self-motivated like any other person, and whose only purpose is to satisfy men's lust, who get fat and will get old and rot to the ground one day. They are agents of lust, temptation, chaos and strife.

At the same time, I still hold onto an ideal and "poetic" image of femininity. I still desire physical intimacy, emotional connection, and companionship from women. And I still admire women's bodies, their curvatures, their softness and delicateness, and their faces; not just in a sexual way, but I genuinely find women's bodies and faces and femininity to be beautiful in an aesthetic sense, the same way as I find the view of a natural landscape on a mountain top or the deep blue sea by a shore on a sunny summer day beautiful. The reality is I know women cheat, lie, deceive, sleep around with many men while excluding you, and will be rude to you if you are undesirable and try to approach them. They use their sexual appeal from men to get an advantage and to trick us into their scheme. I know in reality women aren't goddesses and angels, I don't trust real women, and I know better not to simp.

I used to view lust (pure sexual attraction with no emotional connection) and romantic attraction (finding them aesthetically beautiful and desiring an emotional connection) as separate things, and I will view women I considered "sexy" (sexually attractive) differently from women I considered "cute" (romantically attractive) to be separate but I no longer view them as mutually exclusive. I now view sex as a physically and emotionally intimate act, the act of merging the essence of two beings of opposing forces in order to bring forth a new creation together. Touch and skin-to-skin contact is very important to me, not just the carnal satisfaction of relieving natural urges.

That being said I do hold some resentment from women. All the years of being rejected by them on top of the fact that they don't find me attractive enough to let me experience the best pleasure life has to offer. And if I do get it it's because I'm giving them money and not because they are genuinely attracted to me or they want to make me feel good. You can't trust them because if they see you as genetically unworthy they will cheat on you for a better looking man and make you live a life of a lie. I also view promiscuous women and prostitutes with a sense of disdain and disgust, the fact that they put their own dignity aside to let some random thugs to pound them for money. That every woman gets hit on by every guy she meets and that your daughter, your sister and your mother are still hoes, and that they only live to be some other guy's fuck hole. All women are sexual, they are viewed sexually, they have sex, they never get to experience loneliness and frustration, and then they rub that onto our faces.

Sex gets thrown at them and for them sex is as mundane as drinking water, breathing air or sleeping. For men like me, sex and female companion is like finding the holy grail, just a dream that you can never achieve no matter how far you try to reach it. The best pleasure in life is like a forbidden fruit undesirable men are unworthy to have.

I guess that's it.
 
Last edited:
Words2_live_bye

Words2_live_bye

What a Shame ...
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I remember fantasizing about getting a girlfriend in my early to mid teens and being married in my 20s. If only i knew what life had in store for me
 
subhuman

subhuman

Born to die. Forced to live.
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Apr 9, 2022
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i was never bluepilled. i got blackpilled at 14. blackpill is all i know
 
Fallenleaves

Fallenleaves

Always alone
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That every woman gets hit on by every guy she meets and that your daughter, your sister and your mother are still hoes, and that they only live to be some other guy's fuck hole. All women are sexual, they are viewed sexually, they have sex, they never get to experience loneliness and frustration, and then they rub that onto our faces.
We are doomed, all incels are a byproduct of our human birther's lust
 
TheDarkEnigma

TheDarkEnigma

St. JackieArklövcel
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Joined
Sep 10, 2019
Posts
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Online
329d 5h 32m
I remember fantasizing about getting a girlfriend in my early to mid teens and being married in my 20s. If only i knew what life had in store for me
Brutal.

I wasn't planning on getting married too soon. I just wanted a girlfriend I could hang out with and take her places after school and bring to my place for cuddles. Maybe talk about hobbies like retro video games.
 
Words2_live_bye

Words2_live_bye

What a Shame ...
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Joined
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Posts
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Online
119d 11h 47m
Brutal.

I wasn't planning on getting married too soon. I just wanted a girlfriend I could hang out with and take her places after school and bring to my place for cuddles. Maybe talk about hobbies like retro video games.
:feelsmage: :cryfeels::feelscry:
 
TheDarkEnigma

TheDarkEnigma

St. JackieArklövcel
★★★★★
Joined
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Posts
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Online
329d 5h 32m
We are doomed, all incels are a byproduct of our human birther's lust
True that, but at least my dad got lucky with my mom. It was a different time back then.
 
TriumphDoloshite

TriumphDoloshite

Greycel
Joined
Sep 21, 2022
Posts
46
Online
17h 35m
During my bluepilled days, starting from the end of elementary school up through most of high school I was a hopeless romantic. I used to have high hopes in getting a girlfriend and having my first kiss now that I was becoming a teenager.

I was mostly around peers who were a bit older than me at school because I technically skipped two grades and placed in high school classes when I was in 7th and 8th grade, and so I had oneitis for many different girls though I got rejected every time.

I was also a male feminist back then and believed that women were attracted to virtue and chivalry, to put girls on a pedestal and view them in a good light, and that "true beauty comes from the inside" rhetoric. I used to view sex and romantic attraction differently; I did view porn (mostly softcore stuff) back then but I thought only a few females were sexual but most good girls were morally virtuous and innocent and wanted men who were emotionally sensitive and treated them right, and that hookup culture was sexist, hedonistic and lacked emotional meaning. I was afraid of being seen as misogynistic, and that included viewing women sexually. I literally viewed women as goddesses back then, that they can do no wrong and that their beauty should be worshipped.

I actually didn't felt horny for a oneitis or that I desire to have sex with them, but more like I wanted companionship and someone I can hang out with at a park or by the sea for example, and someone I can hug and hold hands and cuddle with. You can say I had a Madonna complex for every girl I was attracted to at school, and I would get obsessions where a oneitis was the most perfect girl there was and that there is no other girl as beautiful as her.

I wasn't focused so much on sex and virginity, and more on having a first kiss because I viewed that as the ultimate display of affection from what I watched on TV and movies. I did viewed kissing as more of an emotional act rather than a sexual one.

I was much more obsessed with my appearance and I wasn't fat like I am now. I lost a lot of weight and got fit because I was vegetarian at the time. I grew my hair out into an Afro, put on cologne and wore a suit and tie every day to impress girls. I would listen to love songs while I was thinking of a oneitis and I even wrote my own love songs and play them on my ukulele and write poems and stuff, and I would also watch videos on how to attract girls and tried to jestermaxx.

As I got older and the more rejections I got, I realized that my efforts were in vain, and I also realized that girls weren't as innocent as they seemed. I first got into the redpill/blackpill right before my senior year of high school, when one of my friends introduced me to it. At first I started watching pick-up and MGTOW videos and then videos from channels like FACEandLMS and Sandman. Around the same time I was lurking around this forum and I also got blackpilled from 4chan.

When I first joined this forum, I still held on to bluepilled beliefs and I still didn't want to see myself as misogynistic. Though overtime my beliefs would change for the better as I learn more and more about women's nature and what they are really attracted to. I learned not to worry about thinking things or saying things that are offensive to other people even if they are based on truths, so it helped desocialize my thoughts on women.

Like I knew women cared about men's appearances to some extent, I've always wanted to be fit and muscular especially since I've always been insecure about my body considering that I was obese as a kid. I lost weight in my teen years when I became vegetarian but I've gained it all back since graduating high school. I still believed that personality, virtue and a sense of humor also impacted attractiveness. And me seeing them as the empathetic gender, I though they can look past a man's looks if he had a good personality and wasn't a jerk. I didn't knew that face and height were very important factors, and that women placed high standards on traits that are genetically acquired and not just things you could improve upon.

I realized now that there's no such thing as a "good girl", that virtually all females are sluts in someway and even the most innocent looking foids in the street (the shy nerd girl in class, the school teacher, the nurse, etc.) probably got railed by Chad. A man can be a total asshole and still get validation from women just for being tall and good-looking. Me at 5'4 isn't going to get that type of attention, no matter how much "self-improvement" I do. I also realize that it's impossible for a woman to be single and that every woman is already taken, not that "there's always someone for everyone" and that "there is plenty of fish in the sea". I've also become bitter and cynical about humanity and life in general.

I remember looking through the social media of my former female classmates, a lot of them have started to whore themselves out online and have OnlyFans and a lot of them already have kids. Meanwhile the friends that I still have from high school are all virgins.

I don't put women on a pedestal anymore. I am still sexually attracted to them of course, but beyond that I see women as just mortal human sacks of flesh who are all sexual beings and are self-motivated like any other person, and whose only purpose is to satisfy men's lust, who get fat and will get old and rot to the ground one day. They are agents of lust, temptation, chaos and strife.

At the same time, I still hold onto an ideal and "poetic" image of femininity. I still desire physical intimacy, emotional connection, and companionship from women. And I still admire women's bodies, their curvatures, their softness and delicateness, and their faces; not just in a sexual way, but I genuinely find women's bodies and faces and femininity to be beautiful in an aesthetic sense, the same way as I find the view of a natural landscape on a mountain top or the deep blue sea by a shore on a sunny summer day beautiful. The reality is I know women cheat, lie, deceive, sleep around with many men while excluding you, and will be rude to you if you are undesirable and try to approach them. They use their sexual appeal from men to get an advantage and to trick us into their scheme. I know in reality women aren't goddesses and angels, I don't trust real women, and I know better not to simp.

I used to view lust (pure sexual attraction with no emotional connection) and romantic attraction (finding them aesthetically beautiful and desiring an emotional connection) as separate things, and I will view women I considered "sexy" (sexually attractive) differently from women I considered "cute" (romantically attractive) to be separate but I no longer view them as mutually exclusive. I now view sex as a physically and emotionally intimate act, the act of merging the essence of two beings of opposing forces in order to bring forth a new creation together. Touch and skin-to-skin contact is very important to me, not just the carnal satisfaction of relieving natural urges.

That being said I do hold some resentment from women. All the years of being rejected by them on top of the fact that they don't find me attractive enough to let me experience the best pleasure life has to offer. And if I do get it it's because I'm giving them money and not because they are genuinely attracted to me or they want to make me feel good. You can't trust them because if they see you as genetically unworthy they will cheat on you for a better looking man and make you live a life of a lie. I also view promiscuous women and prostitutes with a sense of disdain and disgust, the fact that they put their own dignity aside to let some random thugs to pound them for money. That every woman gets hit on by every guy she meets and that your daughter, your sister and your mother are still hoes, and that they only live to be some other guy's fuck hole. All women are sexual, they are viewed sexually, they have sex, they never get to experience loneliness and frustration, and then they rub that onto our faces.

Sex gets thrown at them and for them sex is as mundane as drinking water, breathing air or sleeping. For men like me, sex and female companion is like finding the holy grail, just a dream that you can never achieve no matter how far you try to reach it. The best pleasure in life is like a forbidden fruit undesirable men are unworthy to have.

I guess that's it.
There's always going to be some women who aren't having sex with Chads. How old are you?
 
NoLooksNoLife

NoLooksNoLife

Say hello to the mad guy
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Joined
Feb 2, 2022
Posts
7,216
Online
80d 28m
During my bluepilled days, starting from the end of elementary school up through most of high school I was a hopeless romantic. I used to have high hopes in getting a girlfriend and having my first kiss now that I was becoming a teenager.

I was mostly around peers who were a bit older than me at school because I technically skipped two grades and placed in high school classes when I was in 7th and 8th grade, and so I had oneitis for many different girls though I got rejected every time.

I was also a male feminist back then and believed that women were attracted to virtue and chivalry, to put girls on a pedestal and view them in a good light, and that "true beauty comes from the inside" rhetoric. I used to view sex and romantic attraction differently; I did view porn (mostly softcore stuff) back then but I thought only a few females were sexual but most good girls were morally virtuous and innocent and wanted men who were emotionally sensitive and treated them right, and that hookup culture was sexist, hedonistic and lacked emotional meaning. I was afraid of being seen as misogynistic, and that included viewing women sexually. I literally viewed women as goddesses back then, that they can do no wrong and that their beauty should be worshipped.

I actually didn't felt horny for a oneitis or that I desire to have sex with them, but more like I wanted companionship and someone I can hang out with at a park or by the sea for example, and someone I can hug and hold hands and cuddle with. You can say I had a Madonna complex for every girl I was attracted to at school, and I would get obsessions where a oneitis was the most perfect girl there was and that there is no other girl as beautiful as her.

I wasn't focused so much on sex and virginity, and more on having a first kiss because I viewed that as the ultimate display of affection from what I watched on TV and movies. I did viewed kissing as more of an emotional act rather than a sexual one.

I was much more obsessed with my appearance and I wasn't fat like I am now. I lost a lot of weight and got fit because I was vegetarian at the time. I grew my hair out into an Afro, put on cologne and wore a suit and tie every day to impress girls. I would listen to love songs while I was thinking of a oneitis and I even wrote my own love songs and play them on my ukulele and write poems and stuff, and I would also watch videos on how to attract girls and tried to jestermaxx.

As I got older and the more rejections I got, I realized that my efforts were in vain, and I also realized that girls weren't as innocent as they seemed. I first got into the redpill/blackpill right before my senior year of high school, when one of my friends introduced me to it. At first I started watching pick-up and MGTOW videos and then videos from channels like FACEandLMS and Sandman. Around the same time I was lurking around this forum and I also got blackpilled from 4chan.

When I first joined this forum, I still held on to bluepilled beliefs and I still didn't want to see myself as misogynistic. Though overtime my beliefs would change for the better as I learn more and more about women's nature and what they are really attracted to. I learned not to worry about thinking things or saying things that are offensive to other people even if they are based on truths, so it helped desocialize my thoughts on women.

Like I knew women cared about men's appearances to some extent, I've always wanted to be fit and muscular especially since I've always been insecure about my body considering that I was obese as a kid. I lost weight in my teen years when I became vegetarian but I've gained it all back since graduating high school. I still believed that personality, virtue and a sense of humor also impacted attractiveness. And me seeing them as the empathetic gender, I though they can look past a man's looks if he had a good personality and wasn't a jerk. I didn't knew that face and height were very important factors, and that women placed high standards on traits that are genetically acquired and not just things you could improve upon.

I realized now that there's no such thing as a "good girl", that virtually all females are sluts in someway and even the most innocent looking foids in the street (the shy nerd girl in class, the school teacher, the nurse, etc.) probably got railed by Chad. A man can be a total asshole and still get validation from women just for being tall and good-looking. Me at 5'4 isn't going to get that type of attention, no matter how much "self-improvement" I do. I also realize that it's impossible for a woman to be single and that every woman is already taken, not that "there's always someone for everyone" and that "there is plenty of fish in the sea". I've also become bitter and cynical about humanity and life in general.

I remember looking through the social media of my former female classmates, a lot of them have started to whore themselves out online and have OnlyFans and a lot of them already have kids. Meanwhile the friends that I still have from high school are all virgins.

I don't put women on a pedestal anymore. I am still sexually attracted to them of course, but beyond that I see women as just mortal human sacks of flesh who are all sexual beings and are self-motivated like any other person, and whose only purpose is to satisfy men's lust, who get fat and will get old and rot to the ground one day. They are agents of lust, temptation, chaos and strife.

At the same time, I still hold onto an ideal and "poetic" image of femininity. I still desire physical intimacy, emotional connection, and companionship from women. And I still admire women's bodies, their curvatures, their softness and delicateness, and their faces; not just in a sexual way, but I genuinely find women's bodies and faces and femininity to be beautiful in an aesthetic sense, the same way as I find the view of a natural landscape on a mountain top or the deep blue sea by a shore on a sunny summer day beautiful. The reality is I know women cheat, lie, deceive, sleep around with many men while excluding you, and will be rude to you if you are undesirable and try to approach them. They use their sexual appeal from men to get an advantage and to trick us into their scheme. I know in reality women aren't goddesses and angels, I don't trust real women, and I know better not to simp.

I used to view lust (pure sexual attraction with no emotional connection) and romantic attraction (finding them aesthetically beautiful and desiring an emotional connection) as separate things, and I will view women I considered "sexy" (sexually attractive) differently from women I considered "cute" (romantically attractive) to be separate but I no longer view them as mutually exclusive. I now view sex as a physically and emotionally intimate act, the act of merging the essence of two beings of opposing forces in order to bring forth a new creation together. Touch and skin-to-skin contact is very important to me, not just the carnal satisfaction of relieving natural urges.

That being said I do hold some resentment from women. All the years of being rejected by them on top of the fact that they don't find me attractive enough to let me experience the best pleasure life has to offer. And if I do get it it's because I'm giving them money and not because they are genuinely attracted to me or they want to make me feel good. You can't trust them because if they see you as genetically unworthy they will cheat on you for a better looking man and make you live a life of a lie. I also view promiscuous women and prostitutes with a sense of disdain and disgust, the fact that they put their own dignity aside to let some random thugs to pound them for money. That every woman gets hit on by every guy she meets and that your daughter, your sister and your mother are still hoes, and that they only live to be some other guy's fuck hole. All women are sexual, they are viewed sexually, they have sex, they never get to experience loneliness and frustration, and then they rub that onto our faces.

Sex gets thrown at them and for them sex is as mundane as drinking water, breathing air or sleeping. For men like me, sex and female companion is like finding the holy grail, just a dream that you can never achieve no matter how far you try to reach it. The best pleasure in life is like a forbidden fruit undesirable men are unworthy to have.

I guess that's it.
Cant relate, I went straight to the :blackpill: at 13
 
Khanivore

Khanivore

you better wrk than sit here like dimwit
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Joined
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Posts
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Oi sexo sexooo)

Jeez man, you are good, what can i say more? Good luck in life, and do not search for a wife
 
TheDarkEnigma

TheDarkEnigma

St. JackieArklövcel
★★★★★
Joined
Sep 10, 2019
Posts
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Online
329d 5h 32m
Oi sexo sexooo)

Jeez man, you are good, what can i say more? Good luck in life, and do not search for a wife
Yeah, I'm way past relationships and wanting a family with kids. I'm just glad I took the black pill as soon as I did.

I don't trust women and all of them out there are used-up hoes who only care about Chad and men's money so it isn't worth me wanting to have a lasting emotional connection with one of them. I still desire physical intimacy and female touch, but it seems even having a girlfriend seems too much of a hassle.

Like yeah, I used to think it would be nice to have a girlfriend to hang out, and go sightseeing around the city, and to kiss and hold hands and hug and cuddle, and take her to my parents house and talk about my hobbies and our future together. But more than likely, I'm instead going to have to deal with her nagging and arguing, having to buy her pointless shit and taking her to dinner, having to listen to her crying for pointless reasons, having to put up with shit and just to keep the relationship and comfort her, her trying to manipulate me, and then cucking you and dumping you. Relationships don't have real meaning, they're just fuckbuddies and the attraction gets old or incompatible overtime until they leave each other and move on to the next one.

Relationships seems more like stress and a burden, rather than a dream come true and a fairy tale. I just don't want to deal with a bitch's emotional problems and mental illness.
 
Izayacel

Izayacel

lIgHtNiNg cOnDuit btw "
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Joined
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Posts
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Foids gonna foid
 
Khanivore

Khanivore

you better wrk than sit here like dimwit
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Online
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Yeah, I'm way past relationships and wanting a family with kids. I'm just glad I took the black pill as soon as I did.

I don't trust women and all of them out there are used-up hoes who only care about Chad and men's money so it isn't worth me wanting to have a lasting emotional connection with one of them. I still desire physical intimacy and female touch, but it seems even having a girlfriend seems too much of a hassle.

Like yeah, I used to think it would be nice to have a girlfriend to hang out, and go sightseeing around the city, and to kiss and hold hands and hug and cuddle, and take her to my parents house and talk about my hobbies and our future together. But more than likely, I'm instead going to have to deal with her nagging and arguing, having to buy her pointless shit and taking her to dinner, having to listen to her crying for pointless reasons, having to put up with shit and just to keep the relationship and comfort her, her trying to manipulate me, and then cucking you and dumping you. Relationships don't have real meaning, they're just fuckbuddies and the attraction gets old or incompatible overtime until they leave each other and move on to the next one.

Relationships seems more like stress and a burden, rather than a dream come true and a fairy tale. I just don't want to deal with a bitch's emotional problems and mental illness.
Yooooo now THATS some great shit you say! Righteous, totally righteous. Even if you want sex badly - just jerk off, urge will go away

its all hormones, fucking with you, telling you what to do - fight them! If you lose, and actually will search for women - you well know whats gonna happen, blackpill taught you that

so - dont go for it

And, of course, if you are going solo for your entire life - think about all the free time, that you can use on yourself, and money! Remember - relationshit = hormonal construction to trick you into reproduce
 
TriumphDoloshite

TriumphDoloshite

Greycel
Joined
Sep 21, 2022
Posts
46
Online
17h 35m
Nah, AWALT. Even if she's the rare type who remains virgin into adulthood, it's because it was her choice in the hopes of marrying and losing it to Chad.

I'm 20 rn.
It's pretty normal not to have a girlfriend at 20. I'm also 20.
 
Freder

Freder

Self banned till 1st March 2023
-
Joined
Aug 20, 2021
Posts
1,102
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13d 17h 34m
StayFrosty

StayFrosty

The Watchman
★★★★
Joined
Dec 21, 2021
Posts
384
Online
5d 23h 10m
relatable af, funny how bluepillers say shit like 'everyone is unique and special' yet we've all lived the same lives as incels JFL cannot make this shit up
 
Copexodius Maximus

Copexodius Maximus

Mentally destroyed by reality
★★★★★
Joined
Jul 21, 2020
Posts
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Online
108d 10h 24m
During my bluepilled days, starting from the end of elementary school up through most of high school I was a hopeless romantic. I used to have high hopes in getting a girlfriend and having my first kiss now that I was becoming a teenager.

I was mostly around peers who were a bit older than me at school because I technically skipped two grades and placed in high school classes when I was in 7th and 8th grade, and so I had oneitis for many different girls though I got rejected every time.

I was also a male feminist back then and believed that women were attracted to virtue and chivalry, to put girls on a pedestal and view them in a good light, and that "true beauty comes from the inside" rhetoric. I used to view sex and romantic attraction differently; I did view porn (mostly softcore stuff) back then but I thought only a few females were sexual but most good girls were morally virtuous and innocent and wanted men who were emotionally sensitive and treated them right, and that hookup culture was sexist, hedonistic and lacked emotional meaning. I was afraid of being seen as misogynistic, and that included viewing women sexually. I literally viewed women as goddesses back then, that they can do no wrong and that their beauty should be worshipped.

I actually didn't felt horny for a oneitis or that I desire to have sex with them, but more like I wanted companionship and someone I can hang out with at a park or by the sea for example, and someone I can hug and hold hands and cuddle with. You can say I had a Madonna complex for every girl I was attracted to at school, and I would get obsessions where a oneitis was the most perfect girl there was and that there is no other girl as beautiful as her.

I wasn't focused so much on sex and virginity, and more on having a first kiss because I viewed that as the ultimate display of affection from what I watched on TV and movies. I did viewed kissing as more of an emotional act rather than a sexual one.

I was much more obsessed with my appearance and I wasn't fat like I am now. I lost a lot of weight and got fit because I was vegetarian at the time. I grew my hair out into an Afro, put on cologne and wore a suit and tie every day to impress girls. I would listen to love songs while I was thinking of a oneitis and I even wrote my own love songs and play them on my ukulele and write poems and stuff, and I would also watch videos on how to attract girls and tried to jestermaxx.

As I got older and the more rejections I got, I realized that my efforts were in vain, and I also realized that girls weren't as innocent as they seemed. I first got into the redpill/blackpill right before my senior year of high school, when one of my friends introduced me to it. At first I started watching pick-up and MGTOW videos and then videos from channels like FACEandLMS and Sandman. Around the same time I was lurking around this forum and I also got blackpilled from 4chan.

When I first joined this forum, I still held on to bluepilled beliefs and I still didn't want to see myself as misogynistic. Though overtime my beliefs would change for the better as I learn more and more about women's nature and what they are really attracted to. I learned not to worry about thinking things or saying things that are offensive to other people even if they are based on truths, so it helped desocialize my thoughts on women.

Like I knew women cared about men's appearances to some extent, I've always wanted to be fit and muscular especially since I've always been insecure about my body considering that I was obese as a kid. I lost weight in my teen years when I became vegetarian but I've gained it all back since graduating high school. I still believed that personality, virtue and a sense of humor also impacted attractiveness. And me seeing them as the empathetic gender, I though they can look past a man's looks if he had a good personality and wasn't a jerk. I didn't knew that face and height were very important factors, and that women placed high standards on traits that are genetically acquired and not just things you could improve upon.

I realized now that there's no such thing as a "good girl", that virtually all females are sluts in someway and even the most innocent looking foids in the street (the shy nerd girl in class, the school teacher, the nurse, etc.) probably got railed by Chad. A man can be a total asshole and still get validation from women just for being tall and good-looking. Me at 5'4 isn't going to get that type of attention, no matter how much "self-improvement" I do. I also realize that it's impossible for a woman to be single and that every woman is already taken, not that "there's always someone for everyone" and that "there is plenty of fish in the sea". I've also become bitter and cynical about humanity and life in general.

I remember looking through the social media of my former female classmates, a lot of them have started to whore themselves out online and have OnlyFans and a lot of them already have kids. Meanwhile the friends that I still have from high school are all virgins.

I don't put women on a pedestal anymore. I am still sexually attracted to them of course, but beyond that I see women as just mortal human sacks of flesh who are all sexual beings and are self-motivated like any other person, and whose only purpose is to satisfy men's lust, who get fat and will get old and rot to the ground one day. They are agents of lust, temptation, chaos and strife.

At the same time, I still hold onto an ideal and "poetic" image of femininity. I still desire physical intimacy, emotional connection, and companionship from women. And I still admire women's bodies, their curvatures, their softness and delicateness, and their faces; not just in a sexual way, but I genuinely find women's bodies and faces and femininity to be beautiful in an aesthetic sense, the same way as I find the view of a natural landscape on a mountain top or the deep blue sea by a shore on a sunny summer day beautiful. The reality is I know women cheat, lie, deceive, sleep around with many men while excluding you, and will be rude to you if you are undesirable and try to approach them. They use their sexual appeal from men to get an advantage and to trick us into their scheme. I know in reality women aren't goddesses and angels, I don't trust real women, and I know better not to simp.

I used to view lust (pure sexual attraction with no emotional connection) and romantic attraction (finding them aesthetically beautiful and desiring an emotional connection) as separate things, and I will view women I considered "sexy" (sexually attractive) differently from women I considered "cute" (romantically attractive) to be separate but I no longer view them as mutually exclusive. I now view sex as a physically and emotionally intimate act, the act of merging the essence of two beings of opposing forces in order to bring forth a new creation together. Touch and skin-to-skin contact is very important to me, not just the carnal satisfaction of relieving natural urges.

That being said I do hold some resentment from women. All the years of being rejected by them on top of the fact that they don't find me attractive enough to let me experience the best pleasure life has to offer. And if I do get it it's because I'm giving them money and not because they are genuinely attracted to me or they want to make me feel good. You can't trust them because if they see you as genetically unworthy they will cheat on you for a better looking man and make you live a life of a lie. I also view promiscuous women and prostitutes with a sense of disdain and disgust, the fact that they put their own dignity aside to let some random thugs to pound them for money. That every woman gets hit on by every guy she meets and that your daughter, your sister and your mother are still hoes, and that they only live to be some other guy's fuck hole. All women are sexual, they are viewed sexually, they have sex, they never get to experience loneliness and frustration, and then they rub that onto our faces.

Sex gets thrown at them and for them sex is as mundane as drinking water, breathing air or sleeping. For men like me, sex and female companion is like finding the holy grail, just a dream that you can never achieve no matter how far you try to reach it. The best pleasure in life is like a forbidden fruit undesirable men are unworthy to have.

I guess that's it.
Beyond brutal. You might end up like the kind of guy who will throw away the blackpill entirely when some woman used you as a betabuck. So much bluepilled brainwashing was fed to you that it’s kind of sad.
 
TheDarkEnigma

TheDarkEnigma

St. JackieArklövcel
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Joined
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Beyond brutal. You might end up like the kind of guy who will throw away the blackpill entirely when some woman used you as a betabuck. So much bluepilled brainwashing was fed to you that it’s kind of sad.
Yeah, I know for sure if I never took the blackpill I will end up being some simp who would be hopelessly looksmaxxing in vain and trying to get a girlfriend, and probably waste my time and money doing so.
 
Copexodius Maximus

Copexodius Maximus

Mentally destroyed by reality
★★★★★
Joined
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Posts
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Yeah, I know for sure if I never took the blackpill I will end up being some simp who would be hopelessly looksmaxxing in vain and trying to get a girlfriend, and probably waste my time and money doing so.
Blackpill is the true saviour of incels.
 
Wintersknight

Wintersknight

Recruit
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269
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Porn corrupted my view on “sx” and females .
When I was younger I thought of sx as just part of a relationship, something that happens with someone you go out with, after porn I just think of it as an animalistic violent and disgusting act devoid of love or emotional connection, one that I find sickened by but at the same obsesses with to the point I’d do almost anything for if it meant it could try before I’m dead
 
C

currycellular

Greycel
Joined
Sep 20, 2022
Posts
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Same here! I always hated and wanted to rape and keel foids and chads (especially white knights) (in a video game of course)
i was never bluepilled. i got blackpilled at 14. blackpill is all i know
 
massculini

massculini

St African BlackCell
★★★★
Joined
Oct 9, 2022
Posts
319
Online
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A
During my bluepilled days, starting from the end of elementary school up through most of high school I was a hopeless romantic. I used to have high hopes in getting a girlfriend and having my first kiss now that I was becoming a teenager.

I was mostly around peers who were a bit older than me at school because I technically skipped two grades and placed in high school classes when I was in 7th and 8th grade, and so I had oneitis for many different girls though I got rejected every time.

I was also a male feminist back then and believed that women were attracted to virtue and chivalry, to put girls on a pedestal and view them in a good light, and that "true beauty comes from the inside" rhetoric. I used to view sex and romantic attraction differently; I did view porn (mostly softcore stuff) back then but I thought only a few females were sexual but most good girls were morally virtuous and innocent and wanted men who were emotionally sensitive and treated them right, and that hookup culture was sexist, hedonistic and lacked emotional meaning. I was afraid of being seen as misogynistic, and that included viewing women sexually. I literally viewed women as goddesses back then, that they can do no wrong and that their beauty should be worshipped.

I actually didn't felt horny for a oneitis or that I desire to have sex with them, but more like I wanted companionship and someone I can hang out with at a park or by the sea for example, and someone I can hug and hold hands and cuddle with. You can say I had a Madonna complex for every girl I was attracted to at school, and I would get obsessions where a oneitis was the most perfect girl there was and that there is no other girl as beautiful as her.

I wasn't focused so much on sex and virginity, and more on having a first kiss because I viewed that as the ultimate display of affection from what I watched on TV and movies. I did viewed kissing as more of an emotional act rather than a sexual one.

I was much more obsessed with my appearance and I wasn't fat like I am now. I lost a lot of weight and got fit because I was vegetarian at the time. I grew my hair out into an Afro, put on cologne and wore a suit and tie every day to impress girls. I would listen to love songs while I was thinking of a oneitis and I even wrote my own love songs and play them on my ukulele and write poems and stuff, and I would also watch videos on how to attract girls and tried to jestermaxx.

As I got older and the more rejections I got, I realized that my efforts were in vain, and I also realized that girls weren't as innocent as they seemed. I first got into the redpill/blackpill right before my senior year of high school, when one of my friends introduced me to it. At first I started watching pick-up and MGTOW videos and then videos from channels like FACEandLMS and Sandman. Around the same time I was lurking around this forum and I also got blackpilled from 4chan.

When I first joined this forum, I still held on to bluepilled beliefs and I still didn't want to see myself as misogynistic. Though overtime my beliefs would change for the better as I learn more and more about women's nature and what they are really attracted to. I learned not to worry about thinking things or saying things that are offensive to other people even if they are based on truths, so it helped desocialize my thoughts on women.

Like I knew women cared about men's appearances to some extent, I've always wanted to be fit and muscular especially since I've always been insecure about my body considering that I was obese as a kid. I lost weight in my teen years when I became vegetarian but I've gained it all back since graduating high school. I still believed that personality, virtue and a sense of humor also impacted attractiveness. And me seeing them as the empathetic gender, I though they can look past a man's looks if he had a good personality and wasn't a jerk. I didn't knew that face and height were very important factors, and that women placed high standards on traits that are genetically acquired and not just things you could improve upon.

I realized now that there's no such thing as a "good girl", that virtually all females are sluts in someway and even the most innocent looking foids in the street (the shy nerd girl in class, the school teacher, the nurse, etc.) probably got railed by Chad. A man can be a total asshole and still get validation from women just for being tall and good-looking. Me at 5'4 isn't going to get that type of attention, no matter how much "self-improvement" I do. I also realize that it's impossible for a woman to be single and that every woman is already taken, not that "there's always someone for everyone" and that "there is plenty of fish in the sea". I've also become bitter and cynical about humanity and life in general.

I remember looking through the social media of my former female classmates, a lot of them have started to whore themselves out online and have OnlyFans and a lot of them already have kids. Meanwhile the friends that I still have from high school are all virgins.

I don't put women on a pedestal anymore. I am still sexually attracted to them of course, but beyond that I see women as just mortal human sacks of flesh who are all sexual beings and are self-motivated like any other person, and whose only purpose is to satisfy men's lust, who get fat and will get old and rot to the ground one day. They are agents of lust, temptation, chaos and strife.

At the same time, I still hold onto an ideal and "poetic" image of femininity. I still desire physical intimacy, emotional connection, and companionship from women. And I still admire women's bodies, their curvatures, their softness and delicateness, and their faces; not just in a sexual way, but I genuinely find women's bodies and faces and femininity to be beautiful in an aesthetic sense, the same way as I find the view of a natural landscape on a mountain top or the deep blue sea by a shore on a sunny summer day beautiful. The reality is I know women cheat, lie, deceive, sleep around with many men while excluding you, and will be rude to you if you are undesirable and try to approach them. They use their sexual appeal from men to get an advantage and to trick us into their scheme. I know in reality women aren't goddesses and angels, I don't trust real women, and I know better not to simp.

I used to view lust (pure sexual attraction with no emotional connection) and romantic attraction (finding them aesthetically beautiful and desiring an emotional connection) as separate things, and I will view women I considered "sexy" (sexually attractive) differently from women I considered "cute" (romantically attractive) to be separate but I no longer view them as mutually exclusive. I now view sex as a physically and emotionally intimate act, the act of merging the essence of two beings of opposing forces in order to bring forth a new creation together. Touch and skin-to-skin contact is very important to me, not just the carnal satisfaction of relieving natural urges.

That being said I do hold some resentment from women. All the years of being rejected by them on top of the fact that they don't find me attractive enough to let me experience the best pleasure life has to offer. And if I do get it it's because I'm giving them money and not because they are genuinely attracted to me or they want to make me feel good. You can't trust them because if they see you as genetically unworthy they will cheat on you for a better looking man and make you live a life of a lie. I also view promiscuous women and prostitutes with a sense of disdain and disgust, the fact that they put their own dignity aside to let some random thugs to pound them for money. That every woman gets hit on by every guy she meets and that your daughter, your sister and your mother are still hoes, and that they only live to be some other guy's fuck hole. All women are sexual, they are viewed sexually, they have sex, they never get to experience loneliness and frustration, and then they rub that onto our faces.

Sex gets thrown at them and for them sex is as mundane as drinking water, breathing air or sleeping. For men like me, sex and female companion is like finding the holy grail, just a dream that you can never achieve no matter how far you try to reach it. The best pleasure in life is like a forbidden fruit undesirable men are unworthy to have.

I guess that's it.
Any man who grew up in a place which had access to TVs and soap operas must have experienced this . I think this is a unique subculture of its own.
 
TheDarkEnigma

TheDarkEnigma

St. JackieArklövcel
★★★★★
Joined
Sep 10, 2019
Posts
16,036
Online
329d 5h 32m
Porn corrupted my view on “sx” and females .
When I was younger I thought of sx as just part of a relationship, something that happens with someone you go out with, after porn I just think of it as an animalistic violent and disgusting act devoid of love or emotional connection, one that I find sickened by but at the same obsesses with to the point I’d do almost anything for if it meant it could try before I’m dead
Yeah, I get it.

When I was younger I didn't viewed sex with a "romantic" connotation, it was just something people did to satisfy their urges and that's it.

So it's not at the same level to me as cuddling, holding hands or even kissing. These are things that are physically intimate as you get to have prolonged physical tough but they aren't lustful.

But of course as I got older and gained more understanding of relationships I started to see sex more as a physically intimate act. There's still touching involved, and I like the idea of bringing a girl to orgasm and the oxytocin being released. And of course it takes a lot of trust to get naked in front of another person and put yourself inside them.

I still distinguish lust (just wanting sex without the emotional connection) and romantic attraction (which does involve sexual attraction but more in the way that I want to bond with them emotionally). When I watch porn for example, I know the women there are thots but I still find their bodies arousing enough for me to want to fuck them. Contrast to being attracted to a woman IRL and desiring a deeper physical intimacy with them.
Same here! I always hated and wanted to rape and keel foids and chads (especially white knights) (in a video game of course)
You probably didn't read, GrAYcel. Nothing that I wrote was about raping and killing foids.
A

Any man who grew up in a place which had access to TVs and soap operas must have experienced this . I think this is a unique subculture of its own.
It's all socialization in the end. Maybe there's no such thing as "love" as @BlkPillPres said, and that men only want women for sex and that's it.

And while yes I still desire sex, I also want touch and female companionship. Even if you have male friends, you can't relate with a woman the same way you relate with other men if you know what I mean.
 
neetmaxxed

neetmaxxed

Recruit
★★
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Posts
123
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20h 25m
i was never bluepilled. i got blackpilled at 14. blackpill is all i know
Its better to embrace it at a young age. It helps you come to term with it and not being a soycuck.
 
CantEscapeYourFate

CantEscapeYourFate

5'3" Blackcel Escortmaxxer
Joined
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Posts
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Online
9d 5h 33m
Women are cumrags whose only purpose in life is to satisfy men sexually. They are useless for everything else, so interacting with them in non-sexual ways is a waste of time and makes you a cuck.
 
TheDarkEnigma

TheDarkEnigma

St. JackieArklövcel
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Joined
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Women are cumrags whose only purpose in life is to satisfy men sexually. They are useless for everything else, so interacting with them in non-sexual ways is a waste of time and makes you a cuck.
I will say that there's this one girl I've been chatting with online (I don't know her personally since she lives in another state) and yeah, she's the only female outside my immediate family that I've continually talked to.

I still see her as a friend (she probably sees me as one as well), and we only talk about how our days have been and our hobbies. I don't and I won't simp for her, but it does feel nice to talk to a woman when you haven't seen one outside of your family in a while.

I do have close male friends who I talk to and sometimes meet up IRL, but as I've said before it really isn't the same relating with other men as you would with a woman. Yeah, you hang out with your homies and you go out explore the city and do stuff together. But beyond that, you don't get to do the things that you want a woman for. Someone you can connect with emotionally.
 
TheDarkEnigma

TheDarkEnigma

St. JackieArklövcel
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Joined
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Yooooo now THATS some great shit you say! Righteous, totally righteous. Even if you want sex badly - just jerk off, urge will go away

its all hormones, fucking with you, telling you what to do - fight them! If you lose, and actually will search for women - you well know whats gonna happen, blackpill taught you that

so - dont go for it

And, of course, if you are going solo for your entire life - think about all the free time, that you can use on yourself, and money! Remember - relationshit = hormonal construction to trick you into reproduce
My ultimate goal in life is to drop off of society and get some farmland and live in complete isolation as a hermit. Just me and nature.
 
Khanivore

Khanivore

you better wrk than sit here like dimwit
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My ultimate goal in life is to drop off of society and get some farmland and live in complete isolation as a hermit. Just me and nature.
Actually you can do it, if you are willing to drop almost all modern tech

Hmmmmm... i think this is possible. Copes - books, farming, nature, and that is enough

You can even make some electricity by yourself, but that is something that you need to learn early
 
TheDarkEnigma

TheDarkEnigma

St. JackieArklövcel
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Joined
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Actually you can do it, if you are willing to drop almost all modern tech

Hmmmmm... i think this is possible. Copes - books, farming, nature, and that is enough

You can even make some electricity by yourself, but that is something that you need to learn early
Yeah. Obviously I don't have the skills or the resources to start living that kind of lifestyle rn, but one can learn.

I would definitely move out of the city, and either go back to my native country or maybe move somewhere in New England or in the Midwest. I don't mind planting and harvesting my own food because at least it would give me something to do and I get to go outside and enjoy some fresh air and sunshine. And I would definitely reduce my use on modern technology.

The thing about electricity though is that yeah, you kinda need to be an electrician and know what you're doing if you want to set that up or else you could get electrocuted. I don't like the idea of using photovoltaic solar panels so I thought of using solar steam or small hydro as a cheaper or more maintainable source of electricity. I can live without it, but it definitely makes many tasks so much easier (like doing laundry, before washing machines this was a very labor-intensive process) and having light bulbs instead of candles and oil lamps.
 
CantEscapeYourFate

CantEscapeYourFate

5'3" Blackcel Escortmaxxer
Joined
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I will say that there's this one girl I've been chatting with online (I don't know her personally since she lives in another state) and yeah, she's the only female outside my immediate family that I've continually talked to.

I still see her as a friend (she probably sees me as one as well), and we only talk about how our days have been and our hobbies. I don't and I won't simp for her, but it does feel nice to talk to a woman when you haven't seen one outside of your family in a while.

I do have close male friends who I talk to and sometimes meet up IRL, but as I've said before it really isn't the same relating with other men as you would with a woman. Yeah, you hang out with your homies and you go out explore the city and do stuff together. But beyond that, you don't get to do the things that you want a woman for. Someone you can connect with emotionally.
Female friends are completely useless. They offer us nothing. The only way men and women can be friends is if the man is simping by giving her free attention and validation. I've been in that situation many times, so I know exactly what it's like, and I know that's the exact situation you're in. Don't even try to deny it. That whore doesn't give a single shit about you. You're just free entertainment for her, just like all the other simps she's messaging. You thought you were the only one? :lul::lul::lul:
 
Nordicel94

Nordicel94

Pancake-faced viking-cel
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Joined
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341
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9d 8h 3m
It's over for Scandicels.
 
DemisedCEL

DemisedCEL

Greycel
Joined
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Posts
10
Online
4h 32m
I got blackpilled at 17. Late I know. My anger upon realisation was too much, because looking back I could see how I was used by this foid whom i hought I loved paying for all her taxi tickets, meals, fucking presents. i was so angry at myself for the way i behaved like a cucked faggot, and i hate that bitch so much i hope her face melts from acid attack and loses all her limbs fucking cuntass bittch. the way my 'friends' in highschool treated me, i was nicknamed fucking uncle ping cuz im asian and always called a weird cunt and ignored in every convo when there is just 3 or 4 of us talking, whenever i laughed at some joke theyd tell me to shut the fuck up, but i still acted like a faggot and wanted to be their friend. i blocked all those cunts, my life is over i have no real friendships no real love my parents dont 'love' me if i fucking give up with this online college im doing. fuck this shit i dont know why im doing this because how will university be a good experience for some fucking ricecel ugly mf like me? i guess cope or rope as everyone here says.
 

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