Serious How do I forgive myself?

[Mortis]

I was walking outside at night just now when I realised that I never forgave myself for a grave mistake I made some years back or any mistake for that matter.

Genuinely I have squandered and ruined so many things wich I never forgave myself for. I just immediately repress it and try to think about something else to the point that I sometimes genuinely breakdown crying (I begin falling to the ground and screaming) and having these spastic fits of rage and jealousy were my arms contort and my body pulls it self together on its own.

You know it's over when your emotional pain manifests physiologically and physically.

Is there a way I can forgive myself? Or will this always be a part of me? Is the rope the only solution?

 

[Mortis]

I sometimes feel like no matter what I do my life always will end in roping.

 

[BataviaCel]

If youre hopeless its easier to stop giving a shit. you wouldnt care anymore about the things you squandered in the past or the future too.

 

[Mortis]

If youre hopeless its easier to stop giving a shit. you wouldnt care anymore about the things you squandered in the past or the future too.

The thing is that I always tell myself that I don't care and then I feel okay but sooner or later my true feeling comes out.

 

[Lobo]

The only sane way to deal with the past is to avenge it. Become what you knew you could.

Keep the anger of your failures in the recesses of your mind.

0 sentimentalism towards it. 0 reminiscing. It’s a fact that the opportunities ahead are better than the ones you missed.

 

[Mortis]

the opportunities ahead are better than the ones you missed.

Somehow I really doubt this. Everything gets worse and more difficult with age.

 

[Lobo]

Somehow I really doubt this. Everything gets worse and more difficult with age.

True, I just had a small burst of positivity when I was typing that.

I would forgive myself either way though, mistakes are unavoidable. You're in fantasy land if you're thinking everything just goes according to plan all the time.

 

[Mortis]

True, I just had a small burst of positivity when I was typing that.

Relatable

I would forgive myself either way though, mistakes are unavoidable. You're in fantasy land if you're thinking everything just goes according to plan all the time.

That's true. It's just not a skill I have fully developed yet. I hope that'll change in the future.