idk. i find it difficult to feel comfortable around strangers irl. but it makes sense. all but one of my crushes were on like. girls i recently met...
so i never felt comfortable asking them out. the one girl i really wanted to ask out in high school, i had known since middle school, and shared a bunch of classes with. something just.... one day skipping class at the end of sophomore year to spend time with one of my friends in a different class, and talking to her while he was in the bathroom, made my heart race and... i wanted to... spend more time with her. in school and outside of school. i wanted to learn about her passions and frustrations... idk what else. i wanted her to be my best friend. someone i could share anything with. and that she'd feel at ease telling me anything.
but i was moving that summer. and so i regret it a bunch now. for not saying anything. because it burnt me. and i've had only 2 crushes since. one of them i lost interest in quickly, one of them i still have conflicting feelings about, but now dates a girl and lives across the country (we text occasionally).
ig this is also now my place to vent my thoughts out so i cant sort through them. sorry.