Hapacalyptist
Lonely since birth.
★★★★
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2021
- Posts
- 1,378
INTRO
So if you're a non-NT truecel like me with 0 friends then you've probably experienced that feeling of dread when lunch rolls around. If so then this guide is for you, if not thenGTFO here fakecel feel free to read it anyway.
Now this guide will be focusing solely on High School because by college you don't have as many restrictions and it's common to see people eating by themselves.
I will be giving 3 ratings for each place. 1) Reliability - How often the place is open, etc. 2) Embarrassment Factor - How embarrassing it is if you are caught here (e.g. someone finds out you are skipping lunch here) 3) Danger Factor / Risk - How much trouble you might get into if you are found to be here; consequences and implications.
ESSENTIALS:
INTUITION / COMMON SENSE
PRE-PLANNED EXCUSES / HALL PASSES
KNOW YOUR SCHOOL SCHEDULE BY HEART (What classes have what lunch, what time do lunches end, etc.)
LAYOUT OF YOUR SCHOOL
PREFERABLE:
LOCK PICKING SET
NO BAG with you during lunch (may not apply to you)
Tier 1 - The Common Areas (Within school and out of trouble)
The Library - The library is renowned for being Introvert / Loner central and is always a reliable place to skip lunch. You can use this time to studymaxx and / or pretty much do whatever. Most Librarians are Introverts themselves and shouldn't have a problem with you camping out in there.
Reliability: 10/10 (Literally should always be open)
Embarrassment Factor: 4-8/10, This ranking highly depends on the person and how prone to embarrassment they are (how badly do they not want to look like a loser / do they care about reputation). For me personally as long as I didn't have my bag (my High School had 3 lunch periods and you would bring your bags with you to 1st period and 3rd period) it was fine since I could pull off the "I'm here in the library during class time to study" look. What I really hated was that sometimes retarded ass teachers would bring down their entire class to work in the library and it made me feel anxious. If you are one of those teachers reading this, please kill yourself.
Danger Factor / Risk: 0-0.5/10, Depending on your school some teacher might walk in and think you are skipping class (not lunch) however you shouldn't be getting in any trouble for that. You could also probably get in trouble for bringing food in but nothing serious. I can't think of anything other than that.
Overall Rating / Summary: 6.5/10, It was alright. If I couldn't go to any of my other spots then I would go to the library but I wouldn't go unless I had to. Too many times I would be sitting there and some idiot teacher would bring his entire class there to do work. There were also a lot of club meetings that happened in glass conference rooms right next to the library so they could see me. If my school had a better library layout where I could actually hide between bookcases or something then I would most likely rank the library higher.
The Bathroom(s) - While not as classy as the Library this one is a pretty common hideout not just for loners but for people wanting to skip class as well. Unfortunately this one is entirely school dependant as the one I went to kept only one bathroom unlocked the whole day and it's becoming more common to have teachers monitoring outside, keeping track of who goes in and out. I will still list it here for the sake of completeness.
Reliability: 2-8/10, Like I said previously this is entirely school dependant. I attended a total of 4 schools and the first 3 had excellent bathroom choices that I could've (and did) camped out in, unfortunately the 4th school was the one I stayed at for 3 years and it sucked, camping out in the bathroom was not an option.
Embarrassment Factor: 2-5/10 The bathrooms much like the library have an embarrassment factor that depends on whether or not you have your bag with you (albeit slightly less embarrassing than the library if you do bring your bag with you). If you don't have your bag you could play it off as trying to skip lunch (standing outside of stalls on phone leaning against wall), if you do have your bag you should definitely try to bag a stall (pun not intended). The problem with getting a stall is that High School boys are not the most mature of kids and if they see a stall door that's been closed for longer than 10+ mins you can bet your ass that there is gonna be a wet paper towel getting tossed your way MINIMUM if not some stupid motherfucker poking his head over. It's already risky business using the bathroom for pissing/shitting, let alone skipping lunch and trying not to look like a loser in there.
Danger Factor / Risk: 5/10, There is definitely a danger in going to the bathroom for an extended amount of time. It doesn't matter if you're skipping class or taking a fat shit, if you head in to the bathroom for longer than 10 minutes teachers are going to think you're juuling. They get debriefed on this shit weekly and they're always on the lookout. Even if you've got nothing in your bag the first time they check it, YOU WILL GAIN A BAD REPUTATION (possible statusmaxx maybe?) and the last thing a loner wants is a reputation; be it good or bad, STAY UNKNOWN!
Overall Rating / Summary: 2/10 if school is like mine, 7.5/10 if there are various bathrooms (bonus points if no shitty American stalls that you can literally see over when you tip toe)
HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT - Ah, a common cliche --uncommon, however, in the fact that there is some truth to it. My method was: Grab your chromebook and/or schoolwork, whatever as long as it looks educational, and go find a vacant (or as close to vacant) hallway. Now you're going to want to choose a classroom (preferably one with kids inside, JUST MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT TIME THEY LEAVE FOR LUNCH) to sit outside of. Sit right outside the lockers covering that classroom wall and you are good to go. People will assume you're part of that class and the teacher let you work outside or that you got kicked out (another possible statusmaxx).
Reliability: 9/10, There are close to 0 reasons why this would not work. As long as you are not watching Chinese fart midget porn on full blast whilst jacking off people should leave you alone.
Embarrassment Factor: 2.5/10, Being seen sitting against the lockers while 'working' looks much less embarrassing than being seen sitting alone doing work in the library. Might be bad for those who do not want to be seen alone no matter the circumstance though.
Danger Factor / Risk: 1/10, Close to 0 reasons why you would get in trouble for this. If you're school has hall monitors (do schools even do this anymore?) then I could see someone asking for a pass but you should already have one filled out from our NECESSARY section.
Overall Rating / Summary: 7.5/10, a solid way to skip lunch without any risk of trouble.
EMPTY CLASSROOMS & Unfrequented Stairwells - gonna group these together since they're both pretty short. The rundown is: You don't really need to go into a classroom if you use the method above this one. If you do however, just make sure you know 1) Every teacher that uses that classroom & when they use it. 2) What periods and lunch periods it's used during & any clubs that use it. Never tried it so I'm not going to rate it.
As for the unfrequented stairwell it's quite simple. Take a few walks around your school and determine the least commonly used stairwells (normally these are in the corners of the schools or in corridors with fewer classrooms than average; use common sense to determine and maybe scout it out a few times before). Once you find one the method is the following: Hide under it. Yep, that's all.
Pros are that you could eat food if you want to and these places are generally quiet. Cons are everyone will know what's going on if they see you there and you will look like the biggest loser out of all other methods doing this.
TIER 2 - For The Bold (Outside of school and possibly getting into trouble)
Right off the bat: If there is a door that says "alarmed" or "will ring if opened" DISREGARD IT. These will not trigger school-wide alarms and will only set off the alarm on the doors (these are not very loud). The alarms on the door will stop ringing if the door is brought back to a close (NOT FULLY CLOSED AS IN LOCKED but closed as in the lock is holding the door open by pushing up against the rest of the door frame) THESE WORK FOR PUSH BAR EMERGENCY EXIT DOORS. By leaving it in this state (where the lock isn't locked but is holding the door open by a sliver) passerbys will think it's locked but you will still be able to enter and exit as you please (from outside and inside the building).
Emergency Exit Stairwells - These are normally in the long wings of the school; no one usually goes down these so it will be a solid place to camp out 8/10 times. HOWEVER, I did get caught once when some stupid ass foid teacher brought kids out through the emergency exit and came back in. I stuck around like the dumbass I was but managed to talk my way out of it. If I had hidden right under the stairs themselves I probably wouldn't have been caught (moral of story; GTFO there if someone is coming).
The Auditorium - The Auditorium is rarely used in most schools and when it is you will know from the start of the day (nobody is going to randomly walk into the auditorium and do something unannounced at midday, it doesn't happen. Check the announcements and know the schedule, you will never get caught). Learn how to use a lockpicking set and pick the lock on one of the exits. Most schools are old as fuck and as a result have easily pickable locks.
Leaving Campus (& how to get back in) - This was probably my most used method. If you have a car you are golden, if not you are still fine. Try and get a hold of a map of your school. If you can't do that then just scout out your school and keep a mental logs of all the exits (emergency exits too). Use common sense in the one that you go out of, make sure no cameras can catch you leaving and it isn't a door used by other people.
I've already listed how you can get back in. However, since I'm terrible at putting my thoughts into words / explaining I'll try again just in case the first time around was confusing and this time it'll make more sense. This method only works with those push bar doors. What you do is you push and open the door, exit out, then you slowly close it, not all the way that it locks but until the lock mechanism thingy is pushing up against rest of the door frame. This will give the appearance that the door is closed but from the outside you will still be able to open the door and re-enter the building. Find a good place to hide outside. Use common sense and in the rare event that you are discovered try to quickly play it off as you getting to school late (just got back from the dentists, etc.)
Conclusion - Thank you for reading my guide. I wish I could make an excuse about how I was nearing the word count towards the end hence why it is shorter than the rest of the guide but the truth is I got lazy. I hope youngcels out there might gain something from this, I know I would've benefited from this instead of learning the hard way by trial and error. Anyways, good luck to you and all your lunch skipping endeavors.
So if you're a non-NT truecel like me with 0 friends then you've probably experienced that feeling of dread when lunch rolls around. If so then this guide is for you, if not then
Now this guide will be focusing solely on High School because by college you don't have as many restrictions and it's common to see people eating by themselves.
I will be giving 3 ratings for each place. 1) Reliability - How often the place is open, etc. 2) Embarrassment Factor - How embarrassing it is if you are caught here (e.g. someone finds out you are skipping lunch here) 3) Danger Factor / Risk - How much trouble you might get into if you are found to be here; consequences and implications.
ESSENTIALS:
INTUITION / COMMON SENSE
PRE-PLANNED EXCUSES / HALL PASSES
KNOW YOUR SCHOOL SCHEDULE BY HEART (What classes have what lunch, what time do lunches end, etc.)
LAYOUT OF YOUR SCHOOL
PREFERABLE:
LOCK PICKING SET
NO BAG with you during lunch (may not apply to you)
Tier 1 - The Common Areas (Within school and out of trouble)
The Library - The library is renowned for being Introvert / Loner central and is always a reliable place to skip lunch. You can use this time to studymaxx and / or pretty much do whatever. Most Librarians are Introverts themselves and shouldn't have a problem with you camping out in there.
Reliability: 10/10 (Literally should always be open)
Embarrassment Factor: 4-8/10, This ranking highly depends on the person and how prone to embarrassment they are (how badly do they not want to look like a loser / do they care about reputation). For me personally as long as I didn't have my bag (my High School had 3 lunch periods and you would bring your bags with you to 1st period and 3rd period) it was fine since I could pull off the "I'm here in the library during class time to study" look. What I really hated was that sometimes retarded ass teachers would bring down their entire class to work in the library and it made me feel anxious. If you are one of those teachers reading this, please kill yourself.
Danger Factor / Risk: 0-0.5/10, Depending on your school some teacher might walk in and think you are skipping class (not lunch) however you shouldn't be getting in any trouble for that. You could also probably get in trouble for bringing food in but nothing serious. I can't think of anything other than that.
Overall Rating / Summary: 6.5/10, It was alright. If I couldn't go to any of my other spots then I would go to the library but I wouldn't go unless I had to. Too many times I would be sitting there and some idiot teacher would bring his entire class there to do work. There were also a lot of club meetings that happened in glass conference rooms right next to the library so they could see me. If my school had a better library layout where I could actually hide between bookcases or something then I would most likely rank the library higher.
The Bathroom(s) - While not as classy as the Library this one is a pretty common hideout not just for loners but for people wanting to skip class as well. Unfortunately this one is entirely school dependant as the one I went to kept only one bathroom unlocked the whole day and it's becoming more common to have teachers monitoring outside, keeping track of who goes in and out. I will still list it here for the sake of completeness.
Reliability: 2-8/10, Like I said previously this is entirely school dependant. I attended a total of 4 schools and the first 3 had excellent bathroom choices that I could've (and did) camped out in, unfortunately the 4th school was the one I stayed at for 3 years and it sucked, camping out in the bathroom was not an option.
Embarrassment Factor: 2-5/10 The bathrooms much like the library have an embarrassment factor that depends on whether or not you have your bag with you (albeit slightly less embarrassing than the library if you do bring your bag with you). If you don't have your bag you could play it off as trying to skip lunch (standing outside of stalls on phone leaning against wall), if you do have your bag you should definitely try to bag a stall (pun not intended). The problem with getting a stall is that High School boys are not the most mature of kids and if they see a stall door that's been closed for longer than 10+ mins you can bet your ass that there is gonna be a wet paper towel getting tossed your way MINIMUM if not some stupid motherfucker poking his head over. It's already risky business using the bathroom for pissing/shitting, let alone skipping lunch and trying not to look like a loser in there.
Danger Factor / Risk: 5/10, There is definitely a danger in going to the bathroom for an extended amount of time. It doesn't matter if you're skipping class or taking a fat shit, if you head in to the bathroom for longer than 10 minutes teachers are going to think you're juuling. They get debriefed on this shit weekly and they're always on the lookout. Even if you've got nothing in your bag the first time they check it, YOU WILL GAIN A BAD REPUTATION (possible statusmaxx maybe?) and the last thing a loner wants is a reputation; be it good or bad, STAY UNKNOWN!
Overall Rating / Summary: 2/10 if school is like mine, 7.5/10 if there are various bathrooms (bonus points if no shitty American stalls that you can literally see over when you tip toe)
HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT - Ah, a common cliche --uncommon, however, in the fact that there is some truth to it. My method was: Grab your chromebook and/or schoolwork, whatever as long as it looks educational, and go find a vacant (or as close to vacant) hallway. Now you're going to want to choose a classroom (preferably one with kids inside, JUST MAKE SURE YOU KNOW WHAT TIME THEY LEAVE FOR LUNCH) to sit outside of. Sit right outside the lockers covering that classroom wall and you are good to go. People will assume you're part of that class and the teacher let you work outside or that you got kicked out (another possible statusmaxx).
Reliability: 9/10, There are close to 0 reasons why this would not work. As long as you are not watching Chinese fart midget porn on full blast whilst jacking off people should leave you alone.
Embarrassment Factor: 2.5/10, Being seen sitting against the lockers while 'working' looks much less embarrassing than being seen sitting alone doing work in the library. Might be bad for those who do not want to be seen alone no matter the circumstance though.
Danger Factor / Risk: 1/10, Close to 0 reasons why you would get in trouble for this. If you're school has hall monitors (do schools even do this anymore?) then I could see someone asking for a pass but you should already have one filled out from our NECESSARY section.
Overall Rating / Summary: 7.5/10, a solid way to skip lunch without any risk of trouble.
EMPTY CLASSROOMS & Unfrequented Stairwells - gonna group these together since they're both pretty short. The rundown is: You don't really need to go into a classroom if you use the method above this one. If you do however, just make sure you know 1) Every teacher that uses that classroom & when they use it. 2) What periods and lunch periods it's used during & any clubs that use it. Never tried it so I'm not going to rate it.
As for the unfrequented stairwell it's quite simple. Take a few walks around your school and determine the least commonly used stairwells (normally these are in the corners of the schools or in corridors with fewer classrooms than average; use common sense to determine and maybe scout it out a few times before). Once you find one the method is the following: Hide under it. Yep, that's all.
Pros are that you could eat food if you want to and these places are generally quiet. Cons are everyone will know what's going on if they see you there and you will look like the biggest loser out of all other methods doing this.
TIER 2 - For The Bold (Outside of school and possibly getting into trouble)
Right off the bat: If there is a door that says "alarmed" or "will ring if opened" DISREGARD IT. These will not trigger school-wide alarms and will only set off the alarm on the doors (these are not very loud). The alarms on the door will stop ringing if the door is brought back to a close (NOT FULLY CLOSED AS IN LOCKED but closed as in the lock is holding the door open by pushing up against the rest of the door frame) THESE WORK FOR PUSH BAR EMERGENCY EXIT DOORS. By leaving it in this state (where the lock isn't locked but is holding the door open by a sliver) passerbys will think it's locked but you will still be able to enter and exit as you please (from outside and inside the building).
Emergency Exit Stairwells - These are normally in the long wings of the school; no one usually goes down these so it will be a solid place to camp out 8/10 times. HOWEVER, I did get caught once when some stupid ass foid teacher brought kids out through the emergency exit and came back in. I stuck around like the dumbass I was but managed to talk my way out of it. If I had hidden right under the stairs themselves I probably wouldn't have been caught (moral of story; GTFO there if someone is coming).
The Auditorium - The Auditorium is rarely used in most schools and when it is you will know from the start of the day (nobody is going to randomly walk into the auditorium and do something unannounced at midday, it doesn't happen. Check the announcements and know the schedule, you will never get caught). Learn how to use a lockpicking set and pick the lock on one of the exits. Most schools are old as fuck and as a result have easily pickable locks.
Leaving Campus (& how to get back in) - This was probably my most used method. If you have a car you are golden, if not you are still fine. Try and get a hold of a map of your school. If you can't do that then just scout out your school and keep a mental logs of all the exits (emergency exits too). Use common sense in the one that you go out of, make sure no cameras can catch you leaving and it isn't a door used by other people.
I've already listed how you can get back in. However, since I'm terrible at putting my thoughts into words / explaining I'll try again just in case the first time around was confusing and this time it'll make more sense. This method only works with those push bar doors. What you do is you push and open the door, exit out, then you slowly close it, not all the way that it locks but until the lock mechanism thingy is pushing up against rest of the door frame. This will give the appearance that the door is closed but from the outside you will still be able to open the door and re-enter the building. Find a good place to hide outside. Use common sense and in the rare event that you are discovered try to quickly play it off as you getting to school late (just got back from the dentists, etc.)
Conclusion - Thank you for reading my guide. I wish I could make an excuse about how I was nearing the word count towards the end hence why it is shorter than the rest of the guide but the truth is I got lazy. I hope youngcels out there might gain something from this, I know I would've benefited from this instead of learning the hard way by trial and error. Anyways, good luck to you and all your lunch skipping endeavors.
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