bigantennaemay1
Aspie social drifter without purpose or home
★★★★★
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2017
- Posts
- 15,550
Was having a good time, watching Futurama again, drinking, eating some chicken, laughing it up by myself, as always. Now I'm depressed again. Why am I incapable of staying in a good, upbeat mood for more than a few hours at a time? Why am I completely incapable while sober?
I'm a fucking loser, and I hate it. And I hate that I can do nothing about it. I made so much effort to blend in, act normal, be normal, fit in with other people. I overcame so much shit with my autism, just so I could hope to live a normal life. And it was all for naught. I put so much effort in, but I may as well have done nothing, for all the good it did, for all the positive change it brought about (none). I hate existing.
I hate existing.
I'm a fucking loser, and I hate it. And I hate that I can do nothing about it. I made so much effort to blend in, act normal, be normal, fit in with other people. I overcame so much shit with my autism, just so I could hope to live a normal life. And it was all for naught. I put so much effort in, but I may as well have done nothing, for all the good it did, for all the positive change it brought about (none). I hate existing.
I hate existing.