Alone, alone, all, all alone,
Alone on a wide wide sea!
And never a saint took pity on
My soul in agony.
The many men, so beautiful!
And they all dead did lie:
And a thousand thousand slimy things
Lived on; and so did I.
I looked upon the rotting sea,
And drew my eyes away;
I looked upon the rotting deck,
And there the dead men lay.
I looked to heaven, and tried to pray;
But or ever a prayer had gusht,
A wicked whisper came, and made
My heart as dry as dust.
I closed my lids, and kept them close,
And the balls like pulses beat;
For the sky and the sea, and the sea and the sky
Lay dead like a load on my weary eye,
And the dead were at my feet.
The cold sweat melted from their limbs,
Nor rot nor reek did they:
The look with which they looked on me
Had never passed away.
An orphan's curse would drag to hell
A spirit from on high;
But oh! more horrible than that
Is the curse in a dead man's eye!
Seven days, seven nights, I saw t
hat curse,
And yet I could not die.
I am in agonypain in both body and souland unable to sleep; I just want peace and for people to understand my situation. I want to get cancer and die a brutal death so I can finally find peace. Nothing has shaken me since my mother died; nothing has ever caused me as much pain as this moment. It has been hard not to think seriously about taking my own life. I’m gaining a lot of weight, I’m depressed, and I can’t sleep. I’m sitting sadly in my room, unable to get out of bed; my soul is weeping, and my heart aches deeply. I am crying right now. It hurts so much to have no one to help me in this situation; they humiliate me like a subhuman rat and judge me.
