SuicideFuel going through pain as an incel

[damascus]

i broke my femur a while ago. it was in a car accident, some drunk retard hit me.
going through pain as an incel like this means being absolutely alone in your hospital bed with nobody to visit you
it makes the pain so much worse. esp because i work minimum wage, luckily i have free healthcare.
even after I recovered I couldnt walk normally, had a crappy limp.
i mean i dont understand, alright, i get absolute subhuman genetics, but why does god put me through so much more shit than that?
it should be enough, i should have had 6 bugattis atleast to compensate for an abomination that i call my face. and even that wont be enough.
because my family is muslim and deluded they think that if i rope i go to "hell" and they cannot pray for me
its like everything in my life is a lose lose situation.
the cherry on top is i have severe anxiety and depression
i really want to take some sort of benzo or ssri, anyone had any experiences with those?
- damascus

 

[Copexodius Maximus]

Why can’t your family pray for you?

 

[Robb97]

Breaking your femur has to be insanely painful. I hope you can fully recover. Life just sucks for us.
About the social anxiety, I have tried benzodiazepines. Xanax makes me a bit more low inhib. It makes it easier to shout for some reason. But I think to really improve SA it’s not enough. Maybe an ssri combined with exposure therapy would work.
Even if, my face, voice and personality won’t change. It’s a lot of work for a small improvement. But living in constant fear is exhausting. I just want to be myself.

 

[damascus]

Why can’t your family pray for you?

they think suicide is a mortal sin and you would go to hell for it. so besides my family mourning they delusionally accept the fact that i go to hell.
my cope is that id be too dead to give a fuck lol

 

[damascus]

Breaking your femur has to be insanely painful. I hope you can fully recover. Life just sucks for us.
About the social anxiety, I have tried benzodiazepines. Xanax makes me a bit more low inhib. It makes it easier to shout for some reason. But I think to really improve SA it’s not enough. Maybe an ssri combined with exposure therapy would work.
Even if, my face, voice and personality won’t change. It’s a lot of work for a small improvement. But living in constant fear is exhausting. I just want to be myself.

it was terrible. i was crying cause i couldnt catch a break, not even cause of the fracture. brutally over.
what do you mean by exposure therapy btw?

 

[Esoteric7]

I mean, if I kill myself and go to hell, at least I will have a noble purpose - burning in hell for eternity for transgressing against an infinite God. This sounds more impressive than rotting away here as a sub-5.

 

[damascus]

I mean, if I kill myself and go to hell, at least I will have a noble purpose - burning in hell for eternity for transgressing against an infinite God. This sounds more impressive than rotting away here.

nooo brooo!!! thank allah for making you a miserable inkwell!!! atleast you arent dead

 

[Robb97]

it was terrible. i was crying cause i couldnt catch a break, not even cause of the fracture. brutally over.
what do you mean by exposure therapy btw?

Brutal man. I would have sent you a gift if I knew in which hospital you were.

Look up exposure therapy online if you’re interested. You’re basically going through unpleasant social situations to rewire your brain and show it that nothing terrible actually happens. You can overwrite past memories that way I think. At least to some extent. But I don’t know if this works when people still give you negative feedback.

 

[damascus]

Brutal man. I would have sent you a gift if I knew in which hospital you were.

Look up exposure therapy online if you’re interested. You’re basically going through unpleasant social situations to rewire your brain and show it that nothing terrible actually happens. You can overwrite past memories that way I think. At least to some extent. But I don’t know if this works when people still give you negative feedback.

thanks brocel

im def trying that. with an ssri and a probiotic
cause i have heard that people who took an ssri along with a probiotic had better symptoms than those who just took ssris.
ill do anything at this point.

 

[RealSchizo]

You have to accept that God isn't real.

 

[Copexodius Maximus]

they think suicide is a mortal sin and you would go to hell for it. so besides my family mourning they delusionally accept the fact that i go to hell.
my cope is that id be too dead to give a fuck lol

You committing suicide = they failed as parents

 

[damascus]

You committing suicide = they failed as parents

damn, when you put it that way i feel guilty as fuck. i dont think they did, they paid their due diligence. i dont think they could have raised me any differently that would not have me face a brutal life.

 

[damascus]

You have to accept that God isn't real.

I was born and raised as a Catholic and it took me a while to finally reject this fantasy.

I am not religious idk where you got that, I just said my family was religious. If I was truly a coping muzzie I would pray 5 times a day and spend hours reading the quran because i am promised virgin wives with beautiful eyes in paradise.

 

[Copexodius Maximus]

damn, when you put it that way i feel guilty as fuck. i dont think they did, they paid their due diligence. i dont think they could have raised me any differently that would not have me face a brutal life.

In the end, parental love can’t save you from the blackpill.

 

[Mortis]

I remember starvemaxxing last year for 25 days straight and needing to go to the hospital. Loneliest week of my life.

 

[damascus]

In the end, parental love can’t save you from the blackpill.

yes but they did not fail me. because to "fail" me that would insinuate they could have had me succeed. with my genetics theres nothing they could have possibly done.