it feels like a fucking dream i can't sleep properly i need to jack off 4 or 5 times in the night to sleep and stop the racing thoughts. I imagine conversations with people i talk to my self i yell at my self FUCK. And when i become aware of it , it is then i stop and feel like shit i am insane. Everything i do feels automated i'm just observing the shit i'm doing, every fucking day is a copy from the day before. Changing something is almost impossible and studying for uni is just hell i have to force my self to do shit. Like my only cope is that i can actually land a job in web dev or data science and make enough money where i can buy good copes and continue hookermaxxing. FUCK THIS SO CALLED persistence to achieve basic existence
