The problem intensified when I actually found a man who is perfect, who I love, and who I cherish. Yet I analyze every single thing he says. I'm trying to find a sociological reason behind the exact sentences he says. I'm trying to analyze if his feelings are genuine or is it just the socialization speaking through him. I am subconsciously scanning for every single possibility where I may be abused and degraded in the future purely because I'm a woman. Yesterday, before sleeping, I was overthinking yet again, and I thought to myself, would he still be with me if I suddenly woke up and decided that I didn't want to have sex until marriage. And I asked him that (through text). He told me that sex, to him, is a vital component of a relationship, because he finds that as the epitome of intimacy and the place where he feels the most confident to show love and care. And I took that as "he only values me because he has access to my body". And I cried for 45mins. He also wants kids. I do too, but I always doubt his intentions, purely because he's a man and socialized as a man. In my mind, there is a debate; "does he see me as someone to spend the rest of his life with, or is he just grooming me to be the mother to his children?".
