What i used to do:
I come from a long path of bad habits, used to jerk off multiple times a day, daily, from highschool to like 6 months ago, used to feel miserable and sorry for myself, as if that made me better for some reason, always watching self improvement content and never actually doing the self improvement, promising myself i would change when the right time arrives and it never did.
Felt so depressed from this cycle of misery that i tried to kms, now, 6 months after that, i feel better, i have a job, i work from home so no social awkardness on the daily is good, and overall i work to afford my nic addiction and buy stupid shit, but also to fund my vibe coding, wich in itself is not something "big" but at least i feel like i am doing something, but this last days i went back to the same, started eating like i used to, and i was clinically obese, started jerking off multiple times a day, spending hours on porn sites...
I feel like i am holding onto that misery and i cannot let myself grow out of it, typing this helps me to consider cutting out porn entirely, but it feels like a part of my life wich is always to be there.
It does not help that i have virtually 0 social life irl, it does not help that even tho im leaner than i was 6 months ago, i feel still fat, it does not help that even tho i am a better person people don't seem to change their perspective on me, i am not trying to look for comfort, but it really is something any normie therapist does not get, let alone my close family, fuck.
TLDR; I am returning to the cycle of misery wich made me try to kms.
