really thought life would get better after entering the first year of college. But the reality turned out very different. Many of the students who get good grades are honestly very boring and narrow-minded, and being around them started to annoy me.
Then things got worse when my major was changed from Economics to History because of my low marks in Economics. That hurt a lot because I had worked extremely hard for that subject. Even after grinding so much, I still could not score well. It made me feel like all my effort meant nothing and that maybe I am just not good enough. Since then, I keep worrying that I might not get a good job in the future.
In the second year, things became even worse during a group project. A friend whom I had helped during the first-year internals completely betrayed me. He told the group leader to remove me from the group. That moment felt like a stab in the back. To make it worse, the professor said we must have at least three people in a group or the project will not be accepted. Without a group, even if I pass the external exam, I still have to write a 100-page internal assignment alone. It feels extremely unfair and frustrating.
All of this slowly made me lose faith in education and even in social life. Since September 2025, I have stopped studying seriously. I feel exhausted and mentally drained. My parents keep nagging me about studying, but they do not understand how demotivated I feel right now.
My dad once tried to start a dairy farm, and I actually liked that idea. I always imagined helping him with that business someday. But my mom keeps opposing it and tells me to stop dreaming and just complete my degree. Hearing that again and again makes me feel even more frustrated.
Because of all these experiences, I feel very lonely and abandoned. Sometimes it feels like everything is just getting darker. I have lost interest in studying and often feel like sleeping all day or crying about how my life turned out. I do not know what will happen to me. I feel like I lack social skills, confidence, and even good looks.
Sometimes I think that maybe I will end up doing something like driving for Uber or working as a truck driver in the future. I honestly do not know anymore. I am just tired of feeling like nothing is going right.
Then things got worse when my major was changed from Economics to History because of my low marks in Economics. That hurt a lot because I had worked extremely hard for that subject. Even after grinding so much, I still could not score well. It made me feel like all my effort meant nothing and that maybe I am just not good enough. Since then, I keep worrying that I might not get a good job in the future.
In the second year, things became even worse during a group project. A friend whom I had helped during the first-year internals completely betrayed me. He told the group leader to remove me from the group. That moment felt like a stab in the back. To make it worse, the professor said we must have at least three people in a group or the project will not be accepted. Without a group, even if I pass the external exam, I still have to write a 100-page internal assignment alone. It feels extremely unfair and frustrating.
All of this slowly made me lose faith in education and even in social life. Since September 2025, I have stopped studying seriously. I feel exhausted and mentally drained. My parents keep nagging me about studying, but they do not understand how demotivated I feel right now.
My dad once tried to start a dairy farm, and I actually liked that idea. I always imagined helping him with that business someday. But my mom keeps opposing it and tells me to stop dreaming and just complete my degree. Hearing that again and again makes me feel even more frustrated.
Because of all these experiences, I feel very lonely and abandoned. Sometimes it feels like everything is just getting darker. I have lost interest in studying and often feel like sleeping all day or crying about how my life turned out. I do not know what will happen to me. I feel like I lack social skills, confidence, and even good looks.
Sometimes I think that maybe I will end up doing something like driving for Uber or working as a truck driver in the future. I honestly do not know anymore. I am just tired of feeling like nothing is going right.
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