I
I was at the supermarket grabbing some alcohol and shit getting ready to LDAR and drink my pain away as I see a huge overweight neckbeard walking towards me, with drool coming out of his mouth. I could smell his putrid stench from the other side of the aisle, so that’s what initially caused me to look over to find out what the fuck was going on. As I turn around the corner I see his glorious overweight fat lardass walking towards me as I make eye contact with his fat disgusting ass. He was the most disgusting human being I have ever had the mispleasure of seeing in my life. He asks me “what the fuck are you looking at, clown boy”, and this is how the conversation went:
Me: Who the fuck are you? Do I know you?
Him: My name is Advocate Doogy, I write comics on reddit making fun of incels. Why are you staring at me?
Me: I thought you looked familiar. And you are such a disgusting filth of a human being which caught my attention. *starts laughing*
Him: Of COURSE a virgin little punk such as yourself wants to make fun of me, which is ironic because you are probably a weirdo living in mommy’s basement.
Me: shut the fuck up before I kick your ass, you fucking loser
Him: I’d like to see you try, you perpetual dry dick bitchboy. Are you gonna cry and go hug your waifu when you lose?
After he said that I just got enraged and started throwing every box of cheerios off the shelves and trying to deck him in the face. I was throwing everything in the store at his ass while he was running at me, but because he weighed 500+ lbs he could barely run at me. I took out a tub of chocolate milk powder and stuffed it in his face, then I got some milk and poured it all over his greasy hair. He was on the floor crying like a little bitch. I spit on him and slapped the shit out of his little crybaby ass while taunting him “look who’s acting like a child now, go back to mommy”. Then princess kitty saw me and then ran at me and pepper sprayed me in the face, I couldn’t see shit and my eyes were in pain, I whipped out my dick like an autistic retard because I thought to myself “this is the last time I was going to be able to look at a woman before going to prison, might as well rub one out right here” and then I try to masturbate furiously while chasing after princess kitty while she’s screaming, meanwhile I’m crying in pain and my eyes were burning, I could barely see but I was trying as best as I could to follow kitty as she’s running out of the store, I’m chasing her across the parking lot, I can feel myself climaxing as I’m furiously stroking my dick and grunting like a fucking maniac, I’m almost going to shoot a load, I thought I wasn’t going to make it in time but I finally catch up to her and blow my spectacular load all over her clothes while she’s screaming and crying. I beat the shit out of her and rub my cum all over her face and make her swallow it, then I shove my fist and cock down her throat and make her choke on it. I curbstomp that bitch but I heard the police coming so i had to leave (I think she survived but she was unconscious)
I was trying to run away from the cops and I was climbing up a metal fence but I got my testicles caught in the fence and couldn’t move. I had to chop off my own dick to get out. There was so much blood everywhere and eventually I passed out due to the pain and loss of blood (it was like that movie 127 hours with james franco) But I made sure to keep my penis because I thought I needed it if I were to ever ascend in the future, for some reason in my dream I thought I could surgerymaxx and re-attach my penis.
Anyways after that I woke up.
Me: Who the fuck are you? Do I know you?
Him: My name is Advocate Doogy, I write comics on reddit making fun of incels. Why are you staring at me?
Me: I thought you looked familiar. And you are such a disgusting filth of a human being which caught my attention. *starts laughing*
Him: Of COURSE a virgin little punk such as yourself wants to make fun of me, which is ironic because you are probably a weirdo living in mommy’s basement.
Me: shut the fuck up before I kick your ass, you fucking loser
Him: I’d like to see you try, you perpetual dry dick bitchboy. Are you gonna cry and go hug your waifu when you lose?
After he said that I just got enraged and started throwing every box of cheerios off the shelves and trying to deck him in the face. I was throwing everything in the store at his ass while he was running at me, but because he weighed 500+ lbs he could barely run at me. I took out a tub of chocolate milk powder and stuffed it in his face, then I got some milk and poured it all over his greasy hair. He was on the floor crying like a little bitch. I spit on him and slapped the shit out of his little crybaby ass while taunting him “look who’s acting like a child now, go back to mommy”. Then princess kitty saw me and then ran at me and pepper sprayed me in the face, I couldn’t see shit and my eyes were in pain, I whipped out my dick like an autistic retard because I thought to myself “this is the last time I was going to be able to look at a woman before going to prison, might as well rub one out right here” and then I try to masturbate furiously while chasing after princess kitty while she’s screaming, meanwhile I’m crying in pain and my eyes were burning, I could barely see but I was trying as best as I could to follow kitty as she’s running out of the store, I’m chasing her across the parking lot, I can feel myself climaxing as I’m furiously stroking my dick and grunting like a fucking maniac, I’m almost going to shoot a load, I thought I wasn’t going to make it in time but I finally catch up to her and blow my spectacular load all over her clothes while she’s screaming and crying. I beat the shit out of her and rub my cum all over her face and make her swallow it, then I shove my fist and cock down her throat and make her choke on it. I curbstomp that bitch but I heard the police coming so i had to leave (I think she survived but she was unconscious)
I was trying to run away from the cops and I was climbing up a metal fence but I got my testicles caught in the fence and couldn’t move. I had to chop off my own dick to get out. There was so much blood everywhere and eventually I passed out due to the pain and loss of blood (it was like that movie 127 hours with james franco) But I made sure to keep my penis because I thought I needed it if I were to ever ascend in the future, for some reason in my dream I thought I could surgerymaxx and re-attach my penis.
Anyways after that I woke up.
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