Deleted member 7448
Name is Abdu, live in Laos, born on 24.08.1992.
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- Joined
- May 16, 2018
- Posts
- 7,127
I have a lot of stuff from back when I was an alcoholic for 2 years. I always drank alone in my room, so the only people that know just a part of that is the neighbors/roommates cause the walls were paper thin any my room was tiny.
I told some of this stuff on this forum but just a part of it. And even the parts that I did tell, I either deleted the threads of edited the comments. Even just know I wrote a long ass thread but I decided to not post it. Too risky tbh, too many details that might doxx me. Also the other way around, what if my parents somehow someone irl like my parents one day found out my posts, idk. I'm paranoid but for good reason.
I rot all the time and the only people I talk to are my parents. And with them I talk about mundane stuff or just silly/happy stuff. Or I bitch about uni. But I don't tell my real thoughts and emotions and experiences cause they're too cynical, nihilistic or even grim. So since I don't talk to anybody, nobody knows the true me. Even if some day I stopped being so avoidant and got a friend (unlikely and I'm too old to form friendships anyway), who I am will forever remain known only by me.
Ironically this forum knows me better than anyone irl. Even better than my parents, cause I speak my true thoughts and feelings here. Which is mostly just bitching about my life, even though if another person had my life they would've been happy for such a wonderful dad and very good circumstances compared to more than half of this shitty country.
I told some of this stuff on this forum but just a part of it. And even the parts that I did tell, I either deleted the threads of edited the comments. Even just know I wrote a long ass thread but I decided to not post it. Too risky tbh, too many details that might doxx me. Also the other way around, what if my parents somehow someone irl like my parents one day found out my posts, idk. I'm paranoid but for good reason.
I rot all the time and the only people I talk to are my parents. And with them I talk about mundane stuff or just silly/happy stuff. Or I bitch about uni. But I don't tell my real thoughts and emotions and experiences cause they're too cynical, nihilistic or even grim. So since I don't talk to anybody, nobody knows the true me. Even if some day I stopped being so avoidant and got a friend (unlikely and I'm too old to form friendships anyway), who I am will forever remain known only by me.
Ironically this forum knows me better than anyone irl. Even better than my parents, cause I speak my true thoughts and feelings here. Which is mostly just bitching about my life, even though if another person had my life they would've been happy for such a wonderful dad and very good circumstances compared to more than half of this shitty country.
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