Discussion Do you have empathy?

[FrothySolutions]

I was watching a Thoughty2 video that says 4 main ways to end up with a miserable life are as follows...

1. Being irresponsible with money
2. Having bad social skills
3. Being lazy
4. Having addiction(s)

You don't have to watch the video, but here it is.


At 9:05 he talks about how loneliness and bad social skills can ruin lives. Now, this is stuff everyone knows and no one denies. But the prevailing difference between incels and everyone else is, we have our own theories for why we're lonely. We think it's because we're ugly. But in this video, it's said that psychologists believe lonely people lack "emotional intelligence." Which, in layman's terms, is empathy.

So is that true? How many people here feel empathy for others? Because if we felt empathy for others (yes, even women), but were still lonely, that would challenge that theory.

 

[OldIncel]

I feel empathy for people but I suppress it because of the blackpill. I wish I didn't feel it.

 

[Atavistic Autist]

Psychopathic slayers who lack emotional empathy lifemog everyone on this forum to oblivion.

It's the autists who lack cognitive empathy who suffer.

 

[based_meme]

Thoughty2 is wrong here. Empathy isn't emotional intelligence, it's a subset of it. Emotional intelligence also consists of things like white lies to protect another's self-esteem. That's not quite empathy, but it is being cognizant of another's emotions.

 

[SUFFARI]

I was watching a Thoughty2 video that says 4 main ways to end up with a miserable life are as follows...

1. Be sub 4

 

[Animecel2D]

Maybe. I‘ll have to think about it.

 

[NEETard]

Thoughty2 use to be good now he has a stupid mustache and makes shit videos

 

[Snowman888]

No more

 

[IamJacksBrokenHeart]

It depends on the circumstance ngl

i rarely have empathy to humans anymore ngl
sometimes i feel empathy towards animals

 

[FrailPaleStaleMale]

I only have empathy for those I care about. Which is very few I guess. Mostly people online. Decades of mistreatment by society kind of whittles universal empathy out of you. Empathys a selective emotion anyway. No one has empathy for the ugly short guy who gets driven to suicide.

 

[Atavistic Autist]

It depends on the circumstance ngl

i rarely have empathy to humans anymore ngl
sometimes i feel empathy towards animals

Fakepsychopath if animals weren't the first things you started killing ngl

 

[Napoleon de Geso]

Have empathy for anime girls. Sometimes for boys too (no homo), or animals (no zoo)

 

[Deleted member 22685]

I only care about other incels and my parents, everyone else can cease to exist for all i care.

I only have empathy for those I care about. Which is very few I guess. Mostly people online. Decades of mistreatment by society kind of whittles universal empathy out of you. Empathys a selective emotion anyway. No one has empathy for the ugly short guy who gets driven to suicide.

Amen bro

 

[FrothySolutions]

Thoughty2 is wrong here. Empathy isn't emotional intelligence, it's a subset of it. Emotional intelligence also consists of things like white lies to protect another's self-esteem. That's not quite empathy, but it is being cognizant of another's emotions.

It's the psychologists that say emotional intelligence is empathy, not Thoughty2.

 

[Snowman888]

tell 1 thing , ppl have empathy for us? , or care about us? or they tell us kill yourself , loser , pathetic incel , Do you really expect me to empathize with people?

 

[based_meme]

It's the psychologists that say emotional intelligence is empathy, not Thoughty2.

Then psychologists have it wrong.

 

[Incel Philosopher]

tell 1 thing , ppl have empathy for us? , or care about us? or they tell us kill yourself , loser , pathetic incel , Do you really expect me to empathize with people?

 

[OwlGod]

Thoughty2 is wrong here. Empathy isn't emotional intelligence, it's a subset of it. Emotional intelligence also consists of things like white lies to protect another's self-esteem. That's not quite empathy, but it is being cognizant of another's emotions.

 

[Stalin]

Only for incels and good people.

 

[FrothySolutions]

tell 1 thing , ppl have empathy for us? , or care about us? or they tell us kill yourself , loser , pathetic incel , Do you really expect me to empathize with people?

The "emotional intelligence" argument is saying "Not everyone in the world is like that, and if you had emotional intelligence you'd be able to sift through the shit to find people who like you."

Then psychologists have it wrong.

I wonder if we're just proving psychology right by thinking like this. I think psychologists would say "If you think relationships are about lies and manipulation to make yourself look good, and not honest connections, that's not healthy. And a glaring candidate for why you're lonely."

But if we try it their way and still fail, that challenges their theory.

 

[Deleted member 22999]

I feel empathy sure

 

[Incel Philosopher]

Silly video. I've got fairly high levels of empathy. Don't use it for people I dislike but the ability is there. Empathy is nothing compared to social status when it comes to making friends. And empathy is obviously not going to get you laid.

 

[based_meme]

The "emotional intelligence" argument is saying "Not everyone in the world is like that, and if you had emotional intelligence you'd be able to sift through the shit to find people who like you."

EQ is simply being aware of other people's emotions and being able to correctly navigate an interaction with them based on their emotions.

I wonder if we're just proving psychology right by thinking like this. I think psychologists would say "If you think relationships are about lies and manipulation to make yourself look good, and not honest connections, that's not healthy. And a glaring candidate for why you're lonely."

But if we try it their way and still fail, that challenges their theory.

Whoever says something like that is drawing illogical inferences. In other words they'd be twisting my words and putting words in my mouth.

 

[FrothySolutions]

Whoever says something like that is drawing illogical inferences. In other words they'd be twisting my words and putting words in my mouth.

You said "white lies." That's not necessarily a "correct navigation."

 

[gapingpores]

Thoughty2 is a clown

 

[Deleted member 24293]

I only have empathy for incels

 

[CaptMarbles]

I'm capable of having empathy, but it's very situational. I'm immune to the sob stories you see plastered on social media, they just humour me. Still, even when I feel empathy, I'm bad at clearly showing it to others, resulting in everyone thinking that I'm a heartless, emotionless drone (including my own parents).

 

[based_meme]

You said "white lies." That's not necessarily a "correct navigation."

Are you for real?

Say you get invited by a work colleague to dinner at his home, and his wife cooks the meal. You come over, bearing a small gift (usually alcohol), make small talk for a bit, then you go to the dinner table. You take one bite and you just want to spit it out.

High EQ would be realizing that an overt show of displeasure from the food would upset your hosts, specifically the wife, who put in honest time and effort. So you do the sensible thing and lie by saying it tastes good and saying what would the husband do if he didn't have a talented chef beside him. You proceed to talk more than you eat in an effort to postpone having to eat something you'd rather not. The wife comments that you hardly ate and you make up a bullshit story about this stressful imaginary situation has been affecting your appetite for a couple weeks in order to spare having to tell her the truth that her cooking sucks and souring your personal (and potentially professional) relationship with your co-worker.

Empathy in this case would be imagining yourself being the one who spends hours doing the cooking, only to be told that it's garbage and imagining how bad that would feel.

 

[FrothySolutions]

Are you for real?

Say you get invited by a work colleague to dinner at his home, and his wife cooks the meal. You come over, bearing a small gift (usually alcohol), make small talk for a bit, then you go to the dinner table. You take one bite and you just want to spit it out.

High EQ would be realizing that an overt show of displeasure from the food would upset your hosts, specifically the wife, who put in honest time and effort. So you do the sensible thing and lie by saying it tastes good and saying what would the husband do if he didn't have a talented chef beside him. You proceed to talk more than you eat in an effort to postpone having to eat something you'd rather not.

Empathy in this case would be imagining yourself being the one who spends hours doing the cooking, only to be told that it's garbage and imagining how bad that would feel.

You don't have to show overt displeasure, but that's not the same as lying. Not telling people you don't like a thing isn't the same as lying.

 

[based_meme]

You don't have to show overt displeasure, but that's not the same as lying. Not telling people you don't like a thing isn't the same as lying.

OK, stop with the pedantry.

 

[happiless]

Because if we felt empathy for others (yes, even women)

NOPE

 

[FrothySolutions]

OK, stop with the pedantry.

But it's important to the theory.

 

[unsettling]

you are conflating cognitive and emotional empathy

 

[based_meme]

But it's important to the theory.

Precisely how? Telling harmless lies to protect feelings and not make relationships with people awkward is the grease that keeps the social engine running smoothly.

Part of high EQ is realizing this and understanding why and how it's done. Empathy is just an aspect of this.

 

[Hay14]

I used to have some empathy but after a while I stopped caring

 

[WØLF]

Psychopathic slayers who lack emotional empathy lifemog everyone on this forum to oblivion.

It's the autists who lack cognitive empathy who suffer.

 

[FrothySolutions]

Precisely how? Telling harmless lies to protect feelings and not make relationships with people awkward is the grease that keeps the social engine running smoothly.

Part of high EQ is realizing this and understanding why and how it's done. Empathy is just an aspect of this.

But how empathetic are you if you have no qualms with openly lying to people you're supposed to have good relationships with? Doesn't "empathy" mean "I feel enough for this person that I don't want to trick them?"

 

[based_meme]

But how empathetic are you if you have no qualms with openly lying to people you're supposed to have good relationships with? Doesn't "empathy" mean "I feel enough for this person that I don't want to trick them?"

WTF is this? You're not "tricking" anybody. Trickery implies malicious intent in an attempt to exploit.

 

[Konon]

Kek, there isn't a single bully, bad boy, criminal that I know in real life who doesn't have a hot girlfriend.

Meanwhile I feel empathy for plants even and have been lonely all my life.

 

[Lonelycel]

1. Being irresponsible with money
2. Having bad social skills
3. Being lazy
4. Having addiction(s)

I have all 4 of these

 

[Diocel]

i have more empathy towards animals than humans, i can't stand a little cat suffering, but i don't mind someone dying

 

[FrothySolutions]

WTF is this? You're not "tricking" anybody. Trickery implies malicious intent in an attempt to exploit.

If you don't like a thing, and instead of just withholding that you make a point to deliberately tell people the opposite, that's a trick. You may feel that it was done out of kindness, but it's a trick.

 

[AmIjustDreaming]

Besides my mother, no.

 

[Spite]

I feel empathy for people but I suppress it because of the blackpill. I wish I didn't feel it.

 

[based_meme]

If you don't like a thing, and instead of just withholding that you make a point to deliberately tell people the opposite, that's a trick. You may feel that it was done out of kindness, but it's a trick.

This is some high tier mental gymnastics. Tricks are malicious and Machiavellian. Telling a white lie is precisely the opposite of that.

But keep coping.

 

[theson]

I am incapable of feeling empathy for normalfag problems. That's not to say I can't feel empathy at all, I can, but only for things I can relate to. That is a pretty narrow list because I can't really relate to most people anymore.

 

[lifeisbullshit95]

I feel empathy for 0.05 sec and aftet realize no one gives a fuck about me.

 

[IsolationHurts]

It's the autists who lack cognitive empathy who suffer.

 

[Deleted member 24272]

İn most cases no ı dont

 

[FrothySolutions]

This is some high tier mental gymnastics. Tricks are malicious and Machiavellian. Telling a white lie is precisely the opposite of that.

But keep coping.

Tricks don't have to be "malicious," though it could be argued that deception itself is malicious. But even if its to "protect" people, a trick is a trick.

I am incapable of feeling empathy for normalfag problems. That's not to say I can't feel empathy at all, I can, but only for things I can relate to. That is a pretty narrow list because I can't really relate to most people anymore.

Here's where I think people are messing up. This is a question of "Do you feel empathy for the people that, if this theory is correct, you should have good relationships with?" If your answer is "No, I only feel empathy for people who like me back" then that's not the same thing.

But if you feel empathy for people, but the connection/emotional understanding you feel for people is one-sided/they don't like you back, then the theory is challenged.