Dear raped women,
I know you are frustrated about the lack of support, the disbelieve and the indifference you are confronted with. I really do. You have survived what is maybe the most horrific crime of all. You deserve justice and understanding. You deserve that society adapts in order to prevent anything similar from happening ever again.
But, as hard as it sounds, you are not entitled to that.
When you stand in court, facing your tormentor, you may swear to god and cry the hot tears of righteous rage. But that alone can never be enough for the judge to believe you. You have to present sufficiently incriminating evidence.
When you scream out over the social networks, every letter you type may be the absolute truth. But, especially online, emotional words are a dime a dozen, and can never be a basis for justice.
No one is obligated to just believe you. Not your friends, not your family, not society and certainly not law enforcement. What a world would it be if tearful accusations were as sufficient reason for conviction? Dystopian. Orwellian.
If you desire justice you have to do what every victim (and supporters) have to do: WORK FOR IT.
You will need cold hard evidence. You have to prove beyond every reasonable doubt that your story, and that´s what it is, is true.
Here are a few useful tips:
If you have been victimized, don't wash yourself or change your clothing.
Call the police as soon as possible, don’t wait days, month or even years before telling your story.
Remember every detail. Names, Times, Faces. Your story must be waterproof and consistent from the get go.
And most importantly: DO NOT, under any circumstances, make allegations you can’t prove. Doing so will make it harder for other victims to be believed.
I know this can be difficult. The experience may leave you traumatized and confused, but no one said it would be easy. It is your responsibility alone to overcome these hindrances.
Additionally: Call out people (especially self-proclaimed female rights activists) who broaden the definition of the word “rape”. No one will take this matter seriously if rape can mean everything and nothing.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7s28iKL0OeQ
Also: Stop making rape a man-on-woman thing. It is a human-on-human issue. The myth of women as the perpetual victim has long since been debunked. You make it harder for people to believe you if you play on that old-fashioned stereotype. Being female is not an argument for being the victim.
And lastly, learn to accept that justice is never guaranteed, it is a privilege. Your accusations may fall on deaf ears, your evidence may be discarded, lifelong friends and supporters may turn their back on you. And they have every right to do so. Life is not fair. Learn to deal with it.
Signed, a rape allegation survivor.
Proud and Powerful!
I know you are frustrated about the lack of support, the disbelieve and the indifference you are confronted with. I really do. You have survived what is maybe the most horrific crime of all. You deserve justice and understanding. You deserve that society adapts in order to prevent anything similar from happening ever again.
But, as hard as it sounds, you are not entitled to that.
When you stand in court, facing your tormentor, you may swear to god and cry the hot tears of righteous rage. But that alone can never be enough for the judge to believe you. You have to present sufficiently incriminating evidence.
When you scream out over the social networks, every letter you type may be the absolute truth. But, especially online, emotional words are a dime a dozen, and can never be a basis for justice.
No one is obligated to just believe you. Not your friends, not your family, not society and certainly not law enforcement. What a world would it be if tearful accusations were as sufficient reason for conviction? Dystopian. Orwellian.
If you desire justice you have to do what every victim (and supporters) have to do: WORK FOR IT.
You will need cold hard evidence. You have to prove beyond every reasonable doubt that your story, and that´s what it is, is true.
Here are a few useful tips:
If you have been victimized, don't wash yourself or change your clothing.
Call the police as soon as possible, don’t wait days, month or even years before telling your story.
Remember every detail. Names, Times, Faces. Your story must be waterproof and consistent from the get go.
And most importantly: DO NOT, under any circumstances, make allegations you can’t prove. Doing so will make it harder for other victims to be believed.
I know this can be difficult. The experience may leave you traumatized and confused, but no one said it would be easy. It is your responsibility alone to overcome these hindrances.
Additionally: Call out people (especially self-proclaimed female rights activists) who broaden the definition of the word “rape”. No one will take this matter seriously if rape can mean everything and nothing.
View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7s28iKL0OeQ
Also: Stop making rape a man-on-woman thing. It is a human-on-human issue. The myth of women as the perpetual victim has long since been debunked. You make it harder for people to believe you if you play on that old-fashioned stereotype. Being female is not an argument for being the victim.
And lastly, learn to accept that justice is never guaranteed, it is a privilege. Your accusations may fall on deaf ears, your evidence may be discarded, lifelong friends and supporters may turn their back on you. And they have every right to do so. Life is not fair. Learn to deal with it.
Signed, a rape allegation survivor.
Proud and Powerful!
