in the last year i did everything i could.
i looksmaxxed a bit
moved out on my own
started uni
thought something will change.
BUT NO.
last 2 days were extra depressing as hell. yesterday i met my oneitis (my foid pysical therapist) and she barely paid any attention to me and seemed like she doesnt give a fuck about me (which is true probaly.) this depressed me so hard. also seems like im not gonna recover so well from my injury like i though.
after that in uni everything was shit and the only 2 people i talk to didnt arrive.
today i woke up feeling like shit.... went to uni. and it was too much.
saw everyone in class talking to each other having a laugh. and i just knew im not the same breed as them. i wont ever be able to have fun like them.
saw alot of couples.
the professor was shit and i understood im really behind in his course and got even more depressed.
and then i saw my uni oneitis getting hit on from some chad lite in my class......
at one point i felt like im having a meltdown.
went fast to one of the empty floors and went there to the bathroom and cried like a bitch. first time im crying since i was like 13 (im 23 now.)
i fucking cant take this shit anymore. i fucking cried. society killed my soul.
i didnt hurt anyone in my entire life. im a good human being. why THE FUCK im trash from society point of view only cuz im ugly?
why i have to come to my apartment all alone?!
why THE FUCK after a busy day in uni when i finally arrive home, tired af - what i do right away is i go for a walk outsite because i feel very depressed and alone in my apartment............
this life aint worth living. i really hope i wont rope this year but if yes, im sorry mom. i tried my best.
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