My last shot at life, fingers crossed...
- Mar 2, 2022
- 7d 6h 0m
Pain is a constant in life, and for the most part it never changes its quantity, just the way on which you suffer it. Being a fat person is painful. Constantly rejected by other, being made fun of, and of course having to deal with health problems and stuff like acid reflux (which are really painful, I suffer them almost daily). But then, how do you escape all of this pain associated with being fat? Well you replace the pain for another type pain: The pain of having to wake up early every morning, even tho you haven’t slept well, just so that you can do your early workout routine, the pain of your muscles being sore, the pain of not being able to eat what you want when you want it, etc… You might argue that one type of pain is better than the other, but the quantity of pain never changes, just like energy in thermodynamics, it can never be created or destroyed, just change from one form to another.
In order to avoid one pain, one must suffer from another one. It's not uncommon to hear married men complain about how much marriage sucks. Those men accomplished what many in here dream of, and yet they can’t seem to be happy. That’s because the pain of being a lonely incel got replaced by the pain of having a nagging wife who won’t let you do what you want when you want and who will be constantly on your back and if you don’t comply she will leave you and take half of your shit. I genuinely believe that it won’t get much better even if I find a gf, I’ll still be suffering.
If I ever kill myself it will not be because of my lack of female touch, I can live without that, it will be because of this very reason. Because no matter what I do, in this life, is pretty much impossible to escape the pain of living. Life is a constant struggle, and despite me being only 23, I’m so fucking tired. I just want to sleep forever. I really hope death is just like a really really long nap that never ends. I’d be disappointed if I an hero and wake up in some other dimension or some shit.