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TLDR; I completely opted out of everything after thinking I could improve my situation by lifemaxxing. A good paying job, working out, staying in touch with people that I actually hung out with- everything.
Was a lurker around incel forums until about 2017 when they started getting purged from the internet. I was almost all the way through college with very little positive social experiences due to being an overweight volcel who was working full-time while trying to study. My junior year, I just felt this need to try a little harder to see if my outlook on life was wrong- maybe I was able to hold a normal social life if I just put the time in. So I started working out and completely changed my diet. Lost 100lbs in an incredibly short time and by my senior year of college I was looking and feeling better.
I started expanding my social circles, new guy friends who I started going to the bars 1-3 nights a week with. Some of them would have girls in their groups when we were out, and I would introduce myself, and there would be pleasantries occasionally exchanged, but nothing more. No conversation past "oh, nice to meet you" and "what are you going to school for?" More often than not I would end up getting these weird disgust reactions from them from the jump- like I outright said something offensive by stating my name. For the most part, I brushed it off. Graduation comes in 2019, and I haven't had a relationship or hookup yet in my life, but hey, college isn't the end right? And I still have more self-improvements to be made, so as long as I keep grinding something will come.
End up in a job in my field pretty quickly, looking at around 6 figures within a few years if I keep at it, and I'm getting to do something I've always wanted to do- travel the U.S. for work. Got to go and see Chicago, San Antonio, and San Francisco. Landmark here, famous restaurant there, I'm working but I'm enjoying traveling on my own. Get on the dating apps at night in these cities, post about myself and my travels- nothing. Not a single match. Flight home, head to the apartment, swiping right- nothing. Still hanging and going out every weekend with my friends that I made during college- still getting these weird reactions from girls when I'm just introducing myself, making me progressively hesitant and self-conscious, tearing me down after I thought I built myself up.
Last August: I'm in the best shape of my life, I've got male friends texting me up and down to make plans for the weekend, I'm well-liked at my job, and I'm completely burnt the fuck out. I can't connect with girls my own age. I spent close to 4 years doing everything I can to be the best version of myself, and yet girls don't even want to talk to me. Not when I'm out on weekends, not when I'm on dating apps, not when I'm being introduced at house parties by mutual friends. And the worst part, to me, is that I don't think my friends don't even noticed. I had one friend, who I got really close with, and him and his girlfriend set one of our mutual friends (an oofy doofy) up with a girl. Not just a girl, cute girl who is a nurse. And the friend I thought I was close with would talk about what a bum the oofy doofy was in private with me. Like fuck me man.
Anyways, I left my job last August. I moved back in with my parents. I stopped working out, put on about 50lbs. I don't hang out with any of my friends anymore, stopped returning most of their messages. I have enough money saved up from my job to live without worry for another year, maybe year and a half, but no real motivation to do anything at this point. I just sit around, sleep in until noon, start drinking around the time I wake up, watch garbage television on streaming services and play the PS2 and original XBOX like I'm back in elementary school. The reality is, I'm an incel, and no amount of lifemaxxing is going to change that. I tried, and the question that kept going through my mind was how much more would I have to try for any of it to be worth it? When I'm succeeding in other areas of my life there's only so much I can enjoy alone and only so much companionship that guy friends can offer- at some point the ability to find a girl who even likes me enough to hang out is not only wanted but needed to live a fulfilling and well-rounded existence. No real clue where I'll go from here, plan really is just to lay down and rot as of now.
Was a lurker around incel forums until about 2017 when they started getting purged from the internet. I was almost all the way through college with very little positive social experiences due to being an overweight volcel who was working full-time while trying to study. My junior year, I just felt this need to try a little harder to see if my outlook on life was wrong- maybe I was able to hold a normal social life if I just put the time in. So I started working out and completely changed my diet. Lost 100lbs in an incredibly short time and by my senior year of college I was looking and feeling better.
I started expanding my social circles, new guy friends who I started going to the bars 1-3 nights a week with. Some of them would have girls in their groups when we were out, and I would introduce myself, and there would be pleasantries occasionally exchanged, but nothing more. No conversation past "oh, nice to meet you" and "what are you going to school for?" More often than not I would end up getting these weird disgust reactions from them from the jump- like I outright said something offensive by stating my name. For the most part, I brushed it off. Graduation comes in 2019, and I haven't had a relationship or hookup yet in my life, but hey, college isn't the end right? And I still have more self-improvements to be made, so as long as I keep grinding something will come.
End up in a job in my field pretty quickly, looking at around 6 figures within a few years if I keep at it, and I'm getting to do something I've always wanted to do- travel the U.S. for work. Got to go and see Chicago, San Antonio, and San Francisco. Landmark here, famous restaurant there, I'm working but I'm enjoying traveling on my own. Get on the dating apps at night in these cities, post about myself and my travels- nothing. Not a single match. Flight home, head to the apartment, swiping right- nothing. Still hanging and going out every weekend with my friends that I made during college- still getting these weird reactions from girls when I'm just introducing myself, making me progressively hesitant and self-conscious, tearing me down after I thought I built myself up.
Last August: I'm in the best shape of my life, I've got male friends texting me up and down to make plans for the weekend, I'm well-liked at my job, and I'm completely burnt the fuck out. I can't connect with girls my own age. I spent close to 4 years doing everything I can to be the best version of myself, and yet girls don't even want to talk to me. Not when I'm out on weekends, not when I'm on dating apps, not when I'm being introduced at house parties by mutual friends. And the worst part, to me, is that I don't think my friends don't even noticed. I had one friend, who I got really close with, and him and his girlfriend set one of our mutual friends (an oofy doofy) up with a girl. Not just a girl, cute girl who is a nurse. And the friend I thought I was close with would talk about what a bum the oofy doofy was in private with me. Like fuck me man.
Anyways, I left my job last August. I moved back in with my parents. I stopped working out, put on about 50lbs. I don't hang out with any of my friends anymore, stopped returning most of their messages. I have enough money saved up from my job to live without worry for another year, maybe year and a half, but no real motivation to do anything at this point. I just sit around, sleep in until noon, start drinking around the time I wake up, watch garbage television on streaming services and play the PS2 and original XBOX like I'm back in elementary school. The reality is, I'm an incel, and no amount of lifemaxxing is going to change that. I tried, and the question that kept going through my mind was how much more would I have to try for any of it to be worth it? When I'm succeeding in other areas of my life there's only so much I can enjoy alone and only so much companionship that guy friends can offer- at some point the ability to find a girl who even likes me enough to hang out is not only wanted but needed to live a fulfilling and well-rounded existence. No real clue where I'll go from here, plan really is just to lay down and rot as of now.
