I've been having fun with these, so I thought I'd continue it. This is based in part on real events (similar events actually happened with Chad):
Chad appears in court, facing a charge of aggravated sexual assault and rape. The judge opens the proceedings: "Well Chad, it looks like you assaulted a woman on your swim team when she was drunk. How do you plea?"
Chad ponders the question, "Well you see judge, I made a mistake and I think I deserve another chance. I'm very attractive and I have rich parents, so I'll be missing out on so much awesome stuff if I have to go to prison. Besides, being young is the time to have fun."
The female "victim", also in the courtroom, spoke up. "You're not so bad, you're cute actually."
The judge acquiesced. "Alright then, case dismissed! And hey there, stay safe out there."
Chad gives a thumbs-up, he looks forward to graduating business school, and the movie credits roll.
Meanwhile, one of us also has a hearing, on an unpaid parking ticket.
The judge opens here. "Alright, case number 69-420. Your parking ticket hasn't been paid for 3 days. How do you plea?
One of us, "Well, I--"
"I'VE HEARD ENOUGH OF THIS! Delinquents like you are a bane on society. This court finds you in CONTEMPT for failing to pay your fine. I hereby sentence you to 90 days' confinement. You can work off your debt at $0.05 a day making license plates."
The guy tries responding. "I really think--"
"ONE MORE WORD and I'm gonna shove my gavel up your gay faggy ass. Take him away-- oh, and make sure you keep your back to the wall."
Chad appears in court, facing a charge of aggravated sexual assault and rape. The judge opens the proceedings: "Well Chad, it looks like you assaulted a woman on your swim team when she was drunk. How do you plea?"
Chad ponders the question, "Well you see judge, I made a mistake and I think I deserve another chance. I'm very attractive and I have rich parents, so I'll be missing out on so much awesome stuff if I have to go to prison. Besides, being young is the time to have fun."
The female "victim", also in the courtroom, spoke up. "You're not so bad, you're cute actually."
The judge acquiesced. "Alright then, case dismissed! And hey there, stay safe out there."
Chad gives a thumbs-up, he looks forward to graduating business school, and the movie credits roll.
Meanwhile, one of us also has a hearing, on an unpaid parking ticket.
The judge opens here. "Alright, case number 69-420. Your parking ticket hasn't been paid for 3 days. How do you plea?
One of us, "Well, I--"
"I'VE HEARD ENOUGH OF THIS! Delinquents like you are a bane on society. This court finds you in CONTEMPT for failing to pay your fine. I hereby sentence you to 90 days' confinement. You can work off your debt at $0.05 a day making license plates."
The guy tries responding. "I really think--"
"ONE MORE WORD and I'm gonna shove my gavel up your gay faggy ass. Take him away-- oh, and make sure you keep your back to the wall."
