Awhile ago I made a post comparing the final moments of Chad, compared to any one of us. But what happens after that? Let's take a realistic look at how both funerals compare.
Chad's:
There isn't enough seating in the main viewing room, so the guests spill out into the hallway and some even mill about outside. Guests started arriving well over an hour before the service started.
After the minister delivers his eulogy, which brings tears to many, one of Chad's ex-girlfriends (yes, "one of") speaks and delivers some innuendo implying his sexual talent. The wife doesn't mind; she learned to share him long ago. The crowd laughs and marvels at how much of a stud he must have been.
His son, already accepted to an Ivy League medical school despite having a subjectively very easy high school and college, and receiving good grades for being attractive, speaks next, and talks about how awesome of a dad he is. His daughter, having been ran through by a dozen other Chads and Tyrones that morning, speaks about how he taught her to love and value herself.
If Chad was in the military, he was almost certainly an officer, and his highly-decorated uniform is mounted on a display outside the room. Tearful veterans salute it.
After the service is complete, Chad is laid to rest at his grave, and his family all go home to party, drink and smoke weed, remembering the good times.
Incel's funeral:
"Oh Jesus, how long has this prick been in the freezer?", the morgue director asks. He needs to make room for another nameless dead dude found in his apartment when the neighbor complained about the smell.
"I dunno, couple of weeks. No one's come to claim the body. I even asked the local army base if they need a cadaver for target practice; they declined."
"Just stick him in county dispo."
The incel is taken with other unknown/ unclaimed bodies to a crematorium, wrapped in plastic. As he's loaded into the furnace, he receives a "eulogy" in the form of a wet fart by the forklift driver. His ashes, combined with the others, are dumped into a communal plot of land. It's marked only with a plaque bearing the year.
This plot of land later becomes the site of a Starbucks.
Chad's:
There isn't enough seating in the main viewing room, so the guests spill out into the hallway and some even mill about outside. Guests started arriving well over an hour before the service started.
After the minister delivers his eulogy, which brings tears to many, one of Chad's ex-girlfriends (yes, "one of") speaks and delivers some innuendo implying his sexual talent. The wife doesn't mind; she learned to share him long ago. The crowd laughs and marvels at how much of a stud he must have been.
His son, already accepted to an Ivy League medical school despite having a subjectively very easy high school and college, and receiving good grades for being attractive, speaks next, and talks about how awesome of a dad he is. His daughter, having been ran through by a dozen other Chads and Tyrones that morning, speaks about how he taught her to love and value herself.
If Chad was in the military, he was almost certainly an officer, and his highly-decorated uniform is mounted on a display outside the room. Tearful veterans salute it.
After the service is complete, Chad is laid to rest at his grave, and his family all go home to party, drink and smoke weed, remembering the good times.
Incel's funeral:
"Oh Jesus, how long has this prick been in the freezer?", the morgue director asks. He needs to make room for another nameless dead dude found in his apartment when the neighbor complained about the smell.
"I dunno, couple of weeks. No one's come to claim the body. I even asked the local army base if they need a cadaver for target practice; they declined."
"Just stick him in county dispo."
The incel is taken with other unknown/ unclaimed bodies to a crematorium, wrapped in plastic. As he's loaded into the furnace, he receives a "eulogy" in the form of a wet fart by the forklift driver. His ashes, combined with the others, are dumped into a communal plot of land. It's marked only with a plaque bearing the year.
This plot of land later becomes the site of a Starbucks.
