…what it is like to be a KHHV truecel with virtually zero chance of ascension?
No analogies will get them to understand. You can explain Earth life to a Mars person all you can. To truly understand it, they have to live it, you have to take them with you to places, so they can see it for themselves.
And no Chadlite or women cares enough to do that. They have their own life to live.
All I can say is, it's not normal for a person to want a shotgun pointed at their head... It's not a thought you choose or want to have. It's the result of domestic abuse, bullying, alienation from your own generation, not being able to embrace something many people do, and take for granted...
I have silently cried in a Hospital because I saw a receptionist I thought was beautiful. The distance I felt between me and her, or any woman for that matter, was and is
physically painful.
I have slapped myself, punched walls... It's painful. Being a loveless, touch starved virgin.
And what makes it worse, is that I and many people here, didn't deserve this.
I can only speak for myself here, and I know outsiders that may or may not read this, will say I do deserve it, for the things I say here. Which I'm not gonna get into.
I have recently went to my cousins birthday party, and one middle aged guy there, called me a "top dude". He thanked me for helping my cousin out organize and clean up the place after, for being so polite and helpful to everyone there.
And my cousin herself thanked me for that too.
Which I appreciated, but, I felt nothing because I have heard this before, many times.
I have been called nice, polite, gracious, many times.
And despite what many have read from me here, I have never said or done anything even remotely sexist, racist or queerphobic my whole life.
So... Why did I deserve this?
I have been bullied to the point where I brought a knife to school to kill one of my bullies (Which I didn't do)
I have been unnecessary berated and bullied for my appearance, from girls that I didn't even talk to, and the ones I did, was 1 - Necessary interactions, and 2 - I was nice.
All of this while being abused by my father for YEARS.
And I keep hearing, you are so nice, you are so this and that, and I get nothing.
No one interested in me, romantically or sexually, no compliments on my appearance even when I tried my best.
I have had nothing my whole life. Despite being who I am.
The 26 years I have been alive, have been nothing but constant alienation, and I'm still 15 years old. I still wish for my first kiss, for friends I can play King of Fighters with. For a "sweetheart". I didn't grow past this, because I never got these things.
Despite, again, being who I am. A "top dude".
