The haunting past memories of all the injustice I've undergone in my life and how i still have always managed keep it silent and untold in front of my family as well as still remaining a kind innocent being in front of obvious oppressors reminds me every single day how strong I am mentally.
However, my brains still reminds me of sometimes where I could be a real fucking piece of shit, and it haunts me as hardly as the rest of my trash living life (even though the amount of injustices that were inflicted to me entirely outruns to oblivion the ones I inflicted, if we even can call them injustice).
For example, when I was 12 yo, there was a new supervisor who came to school and he was really extremely ugly. He really had the perfect face of someone who would rot here : tall and very thin, semi-bald, nerd square glasses, bumps all over the face, and the cherry on top is that he had a nerve disablement on his mouth causing him to constantly, uncontrollably and widely smile. And his mouth was literally stuck like this :
.
This last physical characteristics I quoted about him made him the principal bully target of all norm-fags, and hell kids can be really fucking evil and cruel.
I am diagnosed autistic, ADHD and BPD at the same time, and I've always been alone, hated and spoken shit on, I have genuinely 0 self esteem and I never did have, I also never had a personality. When I was young and immature at this age, I wasn't aware of all that incel and black pill stuff, I was simply blue pilled just like every other kids, so my only way of socializing with people was to mindlessly mimic their behavior and go their way to melt into the crowd. And that implied of the most horrific act I've made in my life : participating to making fun of a wizardcel with my own rejectors. Worst thing is when he once saw me imitate his broken smile while I entered the class and he just didn't react at all. Days later we heard that he left the school, I never ever heard about him after that...
Go ahead, fellowcels. Insult me, detract me, make me regret, punish me, even mods, ban me for a few days if necessary. But when I came to self-realization, I've completely tortured myself mentally for months over what I've done and I never ever made fun of someone ever again and one thing is certain: If it all happened with the self-awareness I have now, I would probably be the only one in the room not laughing about him and I would even have come talk to him like he's a real friend.
Guillaume, if you're still alive and even better, on this site watching this low-quality self-loathing thread,
I fucking deeply apologize for everything.
However, my brains still reminds me of sometimes where I could be a real fucking piece of shit, and it haunts me as hardly as the rest of my trash living life (even though the amount of injustices that were inflicted to me entirely outruns to oblivion the ones I inflicted, if we even can call them injustice).
For example, when I was 12 yo, there was a new supervisor who came to school and he was really extremely ugly. He really had the perfect face of someone who would rot here : tall and very thin, semi-bald, nerd square glasses, bumps all over the face, and the cherry on top is that he had a nerve disablement on his mouth causing him to constantly, uncontrollably and widely smile. And his mouth was literally stuck like this :
.This last physical characteristics I quoted about him made him the principal bully target of all norm-fags, and hell kids can be really fucking evil and cruel.
I am diagnosed autistic, ADHD and BPD at the same time, and I've always been alone, hated and spoken shit on, I have genuinely 0 self esteem and I never did have, I also never had a personality. When I was young and immature at this age, I wasn't aware of all that incel and black pill stuff, I was simply blue pilled just like every other kids, so my only way of socializing with people was to mindlessly mimic their behavior and go their way to melt into the crowd. And that implied of the most horrific act I've made in my life : participating to making fun of a wizardcel with my own rejectors. Worst thing is when he once saw me imitate his broken smile while I entered the class and he just didn't react at all. Days later we heard that he left the school, I never ever heard about him after that...
Go ahead, fellowcels. Insult me, detract me, make me regret, punish me, even mods, ban me for a few days if necessary. But when I came to self-realization, I've completely tortured myself mentally for months over what I've done and I never ever made fun of someone ever again and one thing is certain: If it all happened with the self-awareness I have now, I would probably be the only one in the room not laughing about him and I would even have come talk to him like he's a real friend.
Guillaume, if you're still alive and even better, on this site watching this low-quality self-loathing thread,
I fucking deeply apologize for everything.
