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[Whitepill] Attempt to improve life and cope

highinhibition

highinhibition

Paragon
★★★★★
Joined
Jul 2, 2021
Posts
15,598
Hey guys I know this is probably really cringe and probably not the first time to hear such a gay confession, but I am gonna open this thread here as some kind of journal I will try to make an entry every day I will try to do nofap and improoove. I know that I am probably not a truecel and only a failed normie because I still have hope. In general I will write in this thread here what ever I want. I know I am a cringy gay fagot who loves attention but I just accept it and in order to not spam other threads with my low effort shit tier writing I will confine myself here. I have to be honest to you guys when I see the threads here and how you treat each other I shit my pants at the thought that I will be the next victim, I am really fragile but I guess if you tell me to kms I have to try to ignore it or get used to it, I am really a pussy so in advance please dont tell me to kill myself. I am a new member here and I dont want to get in the way of anyone. I know there are hard rules here and a hierachy that is mercilesly enforced and not a place for outsiders and so people here will check new members and see if they fit in here. I honestly dont think I fit in here, I dont like anime so much that I would make such an avi. I also dont really read the stuff other people write here or contribute something of value that others would enjoy. I only think about myself all the time. I understand that this a community here where I have to adapt to a certain degree so I will try not to be too defensive and get used to the rough tone. As you could probably tell I am a reddit cuck and therefore write so much bullshit but please dont ban me. I need a board where I can have the illusion that at least some people can read the farts I produce, and reddit doesnt like the content I write because it is too violent and aspie at times (most of the times it is not). I will try to write in a not too boring style, with themes you hopefully can relate to: ragefuel, traumatic experiences, emptiness etc. but also occasional small victories. Writing really helps me and is only kind of therapy I can afford. I know that this board has a very high IQ so I will of course try to impress you but at the same time accept to get ignored or critisized
 
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:p
 
That's chill, you seem alright for a GrAY. I used to be really high inhib on here for a long time but i've been posting more and opening up lately. I could help hold you accountable to whatever goals you commit to here. Assuming you use some goddamn paragraphs in the future.

My goal right now is to take a month off smoking weed to reset my tolerance and save some extra cash. Currently 4 days in and im not really feeling any more miserable than normal
 
That's chill, you seem alright for a GrAY. I used to be really high inhib on here for a long time but i've been posting more and opening up lately. I could help hold you accountable to whatever goals you commit to here. Assuming you use some goddamn paragraphs in the future.

My goal right now is to take a month off smoking weed to reset my tolerance and save some extra cash. Currently 4 days in and im not really feeling any more miserable than normal
So before anyone reads this I am really in bad shape right now I just relapsed and my thoughts are thrash:

Didnt expect that this thread would be approved. I am granted access to the LOUNGE. So far I have only posted in the Sewers:cryfeels:. Now I will write here, I am finally worthy for the lounge. I actually dont write so much as I age I become more uncreative.
So yeah anyways I relapsed today after a 4 day streak and after that I binged three times. But wow coming here lets me not forget how serious my condition is:blackpill::feelsrope:

After relapses I think everything is alright altough the house is on fire. I literally cried in my bed and was tired and pittied myself yesterday until I went insane and started laughing:society:

Only god can help me, let he help me keeping the devil away. I become delusional after I relapse I am fucked and I forget it and I relapse because I cannot take it anymore. It is really such an irony I was continusly asking god for some mercy, some help because I had so much stress because of my studies and AFTER I relapsed I get a good message concerning my studies releaving me from the stress if I only had trusted god and only lasted a little longer.... because everything good that happened to me was because I seeked god
But today I ate like shit again, smoked too much, watched too much youtube. Anyways this time I will last longer than two days. I want to become clean, take life very seriously because it is very serious and be realistic, moneymax and hope to escape inceldom by arrangemarriage maxxxing. I want to stop craving degenerate bullshit like prostitutes, wet pussy and comfort:feelspuke:, just live like those guys who lived in the start of the 20th century when there was religion, tradition and purpose.

Let my cope become true, let me start a family with my curry looksmatch :feelscomfy:and ignore all the bullshit around me. So after I relapse I think I am really cool and so edgy. I walk around confidently and stop caring I dont shower and have a smile on because I am content with everything, I am literally deluding myself, I have to get back to the manic laughing:society:, the constant pain and suffering :feelsUnreal:, feeling righteous for making real progress:feelsBox:. Altough what I write here seems to be not so convincing as the true blackpill, or the redpill where you believe that you can become a millionaire and live a jet set lifestyle, it is the only thing that worked for me by any means. If I look at how thrash my fellow curries look like :feelstrash: and if I can stop literally caring about pussy smell, pussy smile, pussy talk, pussy walk, pussy face and pussy ass:feelsstudy: and evaluate any kind of arranged marriage prospects as a means to finally become a real jew, whether the foid will divorce rape me or not, whether she will give me kids so I can have meaning (what do I care whether my kids have be truecels again:feelsEhh:) whether she will give me relief by sex, yeah I think I can ascend eventually, I have to not kill myself in the next three years, I have to learn my curry language, my curry religion and basically become an above average functional member of society with above average salary and above average financial possibilities and all this with zero sex and zero friends, I dont care if I never had a youth if I can have kids when I am 30, a job and a wife and a car and the price for this is only letting go of degeneracy, having faith in god and constantly studyslave and wagecuck as much as possible. I talk so loud and big but honestly I can not even do what normies do, I have to be above normies in my studycucking and wageslaving skills. I work for 30 minutes and I am tired, I eat bullshit every day, I am a drinking chain smoker, I do no fucking sports. Yeah yeah the one who just relapsed is always the loudest I will soon be humbled by reality again but this time I promise:feelssus: I will do at least 5 DAYS of nofap :feelssus: or I will leave this messageboard, this messageboard is like fightclub,we all push ourselves to our limit, voluntarily or not, there is always high tension, crushing depression and men who lost it all, and therefore I can feel the honour in the presence of everyone of you, you are the ones who deserve only the highest respect according to me. Ha there are probably some veterans here who have been through all my delusion and became true jokers :society::society::society:

I also cannot believe that Ritalincel wrote on my thread, I lurked here in 2018 and he was already there







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Presentation is finished - I passed
 

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I relapsed - I might fail some time. I find it just sad that I have never heard about an incel who could turn his life around at any point. Whenever I search for videos like that the guys were usually normies but maybe this is also just a fallacy. Anyways the reason why I relapse is the powerlessness I feel at any situation, being cornered and trapped in general. As I am a GrAYcel I can say something cucked. At its core christianity is about acceptance, forgivingness and tender-heartedness. To be successful as Christian one has to apply this mentality at those moments, in the moments when feeling cornered might it be from anger or a streak of events one feels guilty about or regrets or peer pressure or isolation and loneliness or boredom one has to get the mentality that altough it does not seem like one has no options the three things above are always applicable. You dont really have to read the bible to understand this concept of Christianity. However it maybe could help because one should always strive to improve ones relationship with god and that involves performing duties. (I have the tendency to always sound like a lecturer - I am not sure why-probably an unhealthy coping mechanism for an underlying problem as usual for any neurotic behaviour). I think that most of you are doing this better than me because you actually communicate with eachother. I also dont think it is correct to always act according to this sheme but in case of having no actual options it might be the best strategy. I mean if you actually have an option you would rebrand it as righteousness. Failing in a controlled fashion basically and being opportunistic but if you are failing you have to delude yourself that you are not failing and is there a difference in deluding yourself voluntarily and believing if what you are doing in the end turns out to be working, isnt that believing? Probably not, humans are not machines, I have to actually start believing and I can only believe by practicing. It is 5 AM, I have not slept, I masturbated to porn and nobody will read this bs, including myself, but this is just all therapy and coping. I really have to get used to the notion that I can really write whatever I want here. In general I dont like any reactions but sometimes it is acceptable but still awkward (a part of me only says that to appear cool but there is some truth to it) but if I am aware of it others obviously are also, when I was examined as kid, the doctor literaly gave me a certificate that I was an autist and mentally underdeveloped in certain areas like social awareness
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Okay what the fuck it was never about nofap anyways, nofap is a thing that just happens if you do the fucking work
 
So tell me what I am supposed to do, should I go outside and talk to strangers? Should I wear nicer clothes, should I move on? Should I go to the gym, should I make money?:society:. Well anyways I try not to care too much and just ignore it, buuuuuuuut I cannot deny that it has an impact on my well being. A chronic disease you try to forget about it, you try not to define yourself about it, you pray to god and you get older tomorrow. Well anyways the cope is seeming to fade away again. If I dont soon give myself the perception that I move forward, well there will come dark times -dark times :feelsdevil:. Well anyways I bought a Monster Ultra now, buuuuuuut judging from the appearance I might as well be a 48 year old guy who just got divorced and drinks his pain away with alcohol.... well anyways I am going to try today again. But I have to admit that after a night of porn and emptiness all around this could prove to be hard. Buuuuuuuut anyways at least the pain is authentic today and I might hear god a little bit better today. I have my duties aaaaaaaand I have not failed them so far. Weeeeeeel happy I am not but this is life so lets push ourselves again today and hope for the best. Success will come and go, pain and misery is also inevitable, but what is going to be the general direction depends on pivotal days like these. You failed will you get back up or will you suffer some more? It is your decision fool and there is no one who is going to hold your hand aaaaaaand suck your dick

Lord have mercy with me today
 
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At first i wanted to be nice but after reading your posts i don't really want to be anymore. From what i get you're a curry and your biggest issue is being addicted to porn, is that right? You are clearly high iq and also have acess to an arranged marriage. You might be an incel now, but you won't be in the future. Once you get a good job and get a wife from the arranged marriafe, you will stop watching porn as you won't have to anymore, cause you will be getting laid.

Please tell me if there are any other factors cause i haven't read all of those walls of text, but from what i see you don't belong here. Let's take a look at me now?

I'm not high IQ,i'm an alcoholic high school dropout. I have no friends, no money and no family that speaks to me, other than my mom and i'm also mentally ill.

Bit of difference there. Not saying this to pity myself. I'm trying to show how we are on two different stages. You will enjoy your life one day and i won't.

I would recomment looksmax for you. A forum for men who still have a chance. Also use some anti porn subreddits, if you don't already.
 
At first i wanted to be nice but after reading your posts i don't really want to be anymore. From what i get you're a curry and your biggest issue is being addicted to porn, is that right? You are clearly high iq and also have acess to an arranged marriage. You might be an incel now, but you won't be in the future. Once you get a good job and get a wife from the arranged marriafe, you will stop watching porn as you won't have to anymore, cause you will be getting laid.

Please tell me if there are any other factors cause i haven't read all of those walls of text, but from what i see you don't belong here. Let's take a look at me now?

I'm not high IQ,i'm an alcoholic high school dropout. I have no friends, no money and no family that speaks to me, other than my mom and i'm also mentally ill.

Bit of difference there. Not saying this to pity myself. I'm trying to show how we are on two different stages. You will enjoy your life one day and i won't.

I would recomment looksmax for you. A forum for men who still have a chance. Also use some anti porn subreddits, if you don't already.
I take what you say seriously and will start with looksmaxxxing soon.

But if you think that getting an arranged marriage is easy you are mistaken. You have to look above average still, you need to get money and you have to study your traditions you are allienated from because you deluded yourself with the idea you could be white too.

I understand that I am not a truecel. But with that argument you presented you basically say that every curry should leave this message board. I assume that most people here are white. I understand all of that. But I would argue that curries born in the west altough not the core of inceldom is definitely a theme. And as that I don't think that by confining myself to this thread allone I take too much space, but on the other hand this is not really a site to post a personal blog- but if someone doesnt like it, he can unfollow or block I think. This thread was mostly opened for personal reasons not something soviet. Altough I enjoy the attention if someone reads what I wrote and reacts to it, it is not necessary that they actually do it, as long as I believe someone does it, so thats why I have to keep posting here.

I use it to documment as much as I can. And all I have to say it really helps me a lot. And this board gives me soberness and lets me see the turth. For example a few months ago I couldnt reconcile myself with arranged marriage because I still had the illusion I could have the white standard but now it is clear that only by unlikely compensation this could happen. Like I would only watch porn and dont do any work at all before. And I only passed my seminar because I would write here. I am also on the brink of dropping out and have to pass my exams in 2 months for which I did not prepare so far and if I drop out I wouldnt say the door to arranged marriage is completely closed however there is still a massive drop. And lastly the moment I will have sex with a girl which is not traditional one-time-prostitution I will leave instantly

As a counter argument if curries wouldn t belong here because they have the option to get an arranged marriage then many white people dont belong here because they could SEA maxxx. You don t understand the power of your skin colour you have to use it to your advantage, you are still young and you can still work at Burger King and get a ticket to Thailand.

In general I had some thoughts about how I think White people should deal with their inceldom, essentially SEAmaxxxing and being as degenerate as possible with prostitutes and drugs as I believe the chances of success going this way is much better for White people as the traditional Christian foid is officially a myth in the sense that there might be some that go to the Church, play instruments, ride horses or whatever but since they have access to Chad and a Chad is usually an economic powerhouse simulaneously in the West white Copers must have a very different strategy to curry Copers.

But yeah I don't know how shitty your life has to be, to be allowed to post here. I think people who are very close to suicide come here as greycels usually, ask some questions how to do it and then leave. As for the other posters here I don't say that they are not miserable but the fact that they are still alive proves that they have some reason to stay alive, even if it is only because they have family i.e. martyr-identity who would be upset or maybe curiosity or hope what the future could bring. But in this regard I am then not different then anyone else here because my thoughts or expectations of the future have not manifested yet altough I admit that there is a clear path. But then again I could say the same thing about the white people here, just get a job, try to make money and then SEAmaxxx how this would be any different to what I am doing? The chances that I will succeed are unknown and if I would be so sure that I will find success, I wouldn't be preparing for the worst case by taking up the martyr-slave-identity via religion. I only differ from the majority because I dont embrace the blackpill fully and if one would be really objective almost everyone has a chance to get fucked somehow and it is a matter of how low are you willing to go (which is also weakened by porn). Fuck some peasants from Africa or some village people in China, fuck trannies, get fucked in the ass, I know I will eventually if my plan now fails, at least I hope I will. But this is also a difference between curry and whites, white people have so much pride that they would rather commit suicide then go below a certain threshhold while curries have the shit-eating mentality and can tolerate much lower conditions of living. For this however
it is much harder to find compassion for curries.

I dont think that my explaination helped much and I assume there might be some unpleasant consequences, I knew from the beginning other incels here wouldn t like me and that there is a relatively high probability that I will get banned, and maybe this will happen soon, I only can hope that it won't
 
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I take what you say seriously and will start with looksmaxxxing soon.

But if you think that getting an arranged marriage is easy you are mistaken. You have to look above average still, you need to get money and you have to study your traditions you are allienated from because you deluded yourself with the idea you could be white too.

I understand that I am not a truecel. But with that argument you presented you basically say that every curry should leave this message board. I assume that most people here are white. I understand all of that. But I would argue that curries born in the west altough not the core of inceldom is definitely a theme. And as that I don't think that by confining myself to this thread allone I take too much space, but on the other hand this is not really a site to post a personal blog- but if someone doesnt like it, he can unfollow or block I think. This thread was mostly opened for personal reasons not something soviet. Altough I enjoy the attention if someone reads what I wrote and reacts to it, it is not necessary that they actually do it, as long as I believe someone does it, so thats why I have to keep posting here.

I use it to documment as much as I can. And all I have to say it really helps me a lot. And this board gives me soberness and lets me see the turth. For example a few months ago I couldnt reconcile myself with arranged marriage because I still had the illusion I could have the white standard but now it is clear that only by unlikely compensation this could happen. Like I would only watch porn and dont do any work at all before. And I only passed my seminar because I would write here. I am also on the brink of dropping out and have to pass my exams in 2 months for which I did not prepare so far and if I drop out I wouldnt say the door to arranged marriage is completely closed however there is still a massive drop. And lastly the moment I will have sex with a girl which is not traditional one-time-prostitution I will leave instantly

As a counter argument if curries wouldn t belong here because they have the option to get an arranged marriage then many white people dont belong here because they could SEA maxxx. You don t understand the power of your skin colour you have to use it to your advantage, you are still young and you can still work at Burger King and get a ticket to Thailand.

In general I had some thoughts about how I think White people should deal with their inceldom, essentially SEAmaxxxing and being as degenerate as possible with prostitutes and drugs as I believe the chances of success going this way is much better for White people as the traditional Christian foid is officially a myth in the sense that there might be some that go to the Church, play instruments, ride horses or whatever but since they have access to Chad and a Chad is usually an economic powerhouse simulaneously in the West white Copers must have a very different strategy to curry Copers.

But yeah I don't know how shitty your life has to be, to be allowed to post here. I think people who are very close to suicide come here as greycels usually, ask some questions how to do it and then leave. As for the other posters here I don't say that they are not miserable but the fact that they are still alive proves that they have some reason to stay alive, even if it is only because they have family who would be upset or maybe curiosity or hope what the future could bring. But in this regard I am then not different then anyone else here because my thoughts or expectations of the future have not manifested yet altough I admit that there is a clear path. But then again I could say the same thing about the white people here, just get a job, try to make money and then SEAmaxxx how this would be any different to what I am doing? I only differ from the majority because I dont embrace the blackpill fully and if one would be really objective almost everyone has a chance to get fucked somehow and it is a matter of how low are you willing to go. Fuck some peasants from Africa or some village people in China, I know I will eventually if my plan now fails, at least I hope I will. But this is also a difference between curry and whites, white people have so much pride that they would rather commit suicide then go below a certain threshhold while curries have the shit-eating mentality and can tolerate much lower conditions of living. For this however
it is much harder to find compassion for curries.

I dont think that my explaination helped much and I assume there might be some unpleasant consequences, I knew from the beginning other incels here wouldn t like me and that there is a relatively high probability that I will get banned, and maybe this will happen soon, I only can hope that it won't
First, don't drop out. No matter how difficult it is. Do not do that. That will make you life much, much worse.

You main point seems to be that I as a white man can have sex with some asian bitch. Perhaps you are correct. I would not know as i never tried and never will. You have to understand that some people are agianst fucking and having kids with people of different races. I'm one of those people.

If you get an arrnaged marriage you can be with a woman of your own race. No matter what i do i can't have that. Even if i could have sex with a non white woman, i wouldn't want it.

Btw you can post anywhere, and anything as far as you follow the rules. There is no threshold here really.
 
I just relapsed again :feelsrope:

Here is something cringy again you cant get banned for cringiness- can you? I have been cringy all my life, before I became such a pussy from all the porn I watched this cringiness was boldness LOL just reframing the same thing for when somebody is incel and somebody is a normie:

So I really want to show other people that it is possible to ascend and to get out of this hole by showing myself as an example - that means showing my flaws and pettiness but also hopefuly documenting every single step and fall towards this goal. I am 23, I am curry, I am balding, I never kissed even a girl, I will maybe drop out soon, I have no social circle (but a good friend I am thankful for) I mean it would be really cool if someone like me could ascend (but it wont happen probably:blackpill: thats why I will be here forever)

I just try to get some motivation now at 5am with no sleep again
 
If you "" how do you ""?
I am gonna open this thread here as some kind of journal

If you "dont really read the stuff other people write here," how do you expect others to "read the farts [you] produce"?
 
If you "" how do you ""?


If you "dont really read the stuff other people write here," how do you expect others to "read the farts [you] produce"?
I dont expect others reading what I read. I sometimes read stuff here but not too often, only when it is required. There are some good times when you should read the stuff here, at other times you should try to avoid it. I dont want to say it is wrong or something what others write here but it can consume your time if you are careless.

I dont know what you are reffering to with your first sentece " how do you " - if you mean my plan to ascend? Well except the arranged marriage thing I want to learn to vastly reduce my expectations and standards, I think this kind of maxxxxing has no name yet
 
my plan to ascend? ... I want to learn to vastly reduce my expectations and standards...

Keep us updated. I've heard from lots of people who try this that they feel frustrated b/c they can't control their wants. Like there's a baseline of what they want, and not satisfying it makes them feel even worse. Hope you have better luck.
 
bad day - bad day - neutral day I also relapsed once:feelsrope:

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I think from now on I will just say that Studying X and Playing Chess X and Reading Bibly X Y is online with the timeframe because otherwise I spam too much



Studying 31 - Studying 33 is online with average time 2 h 40 min each
 
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I hate to crush your dreams, but self improvement is impossible. See this post:
YZW3dFB
 
I hate to crush your dreams, but self improvement is impossible. See this post:
View attachment 469350
I have seen it already. The power of the blackpill stands no chance against jesus and of course this community that only enables me to do the things I do, I dont feel so alone
Sometimes we fear god sometimes we dont. But when we die and before we go to hell we will face the devil who will take us there and this is going to be the most dreadful experience any men could ever suffer. The devil is your bigest nightmare, a nightmare yyou could not even imagine or comprehend. For this alone one should live according to the rules of god but I am a hypocrite and a coward if I fear foids more than god . The point should be not to approach them to fuck them, the point should be to lose the fear and the perpetual trauma they cause. I cannot controle whether they fuck me or not but I can controle whether I fear them, god loves the brave and is a Chad really brave if he does not fear anything?:feelsUnreal:
I mean Jesus is the son of God, and as a son he maybe have some secrets that only he and god knows, dark secrets concerning the nature of the devil and death
 
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Something seems wrong. I dont like stagnation. I have to understand my worthlessness again
 
I have seen it already. The power of the blackpill stands no chance against...
Not trying to nay-say believers. If religion works for someone, more power to 'em. But, isn't a big question really whether someone believes? If someone doesn't, then maybe the story of religion doesn't stand a change against "the power of the blackpill."
 
why the soap tho ? you gotta be clean af
 
I am weak and today the blackpill striked again. My parents dragged me to a social gathering and I was 5 hours amongst people and wanted a gun after that I had no choice I binge eat, chain smoked and binge watched porn, I hope my parents were at least somewhat happy that I attented with them this shitshow because I did it for them.

Anyways as long as I shower every day (emphasis here because ITcucks always say we dont shower and I actually didnt shower for a long time regularly and I like fightclub hence the soap) and study every day the streak is not over but I really need to step up now and get back to post daily - I mean I will either fail along the way and abandon this thread slowly, I will get banned or I will have some underwhelming success - nothing crazy

Not trying to nay-say believers. If religion works for someone, more power to 'em. But, isn't a big question really whether someone believes? If someone doesn't, then maybe the story of religion doesn't stand a change against "the power of the blackpill."

I dont know what the fuck I said yesterday. When you are a tryhard you say dumb stuff, I mean if you want to really get any benifity from religion in your life you have to be somewhat interested in it and practice it every day and maybe if you do it long enough you can accept the blackpill i.e. be unfaded by your low status but I think also other than a pain reliever it gives good instructions on how to live
 
I mean if you want to really get any benifity from religion in your life you have to be somewhat interested in it and practice it every day...

I agree with you here. If someone happens to believe in some religion, then it could benefit them.
 
I was relapsing a lot this week - I have to parallelize the mergesort algorithm and it sucks . They dont teach me how to fucking debug



 
-Lifefuel

I've completed the parallel mergesort algorithm after 1 week of studyslaving
 
okay I relapsed again three times in a row again it sucks so much, I want to finaly quit and lower my inhibition and smelling at foids and sitting close to them in the public transport:

Quitting cold turkey is equal to relapsing and when you do relapse you are going to binge, the reason: the psychological repercussions of quitting cold turkey are great. The backlashes :soy: are going to be so against you )=

[who am I fooling I am a soy cock loser cunt bitch:soy::soy::soy::soy::bluepill::bluepill::bluepill::bluepill: but anyway the blackpill is not too enjoyable and I had my overdoes today already and now I am desperately trying to forget it again I am gigapathetic but who cares, let it be entertainment for the true blackpiller how me a curry is trying so hard but still gets nowhere. Let me be a fucking pussy, whats going to happen at worst? SO why not coping and deluding oneself even though I will get nothing in the end? Why do I have to stay so negative and stuck? Remember what I said before? Curries have no backbone at all and I mean that in a good way. I am going to delude myself again and keep to myself again I had too much blackpill the last couple days IT IS UNHEALTHY and it is my fault I was a fucking lazy coomer. Yes it is true but IT IS UNHEALTHY-listen I never have an opinion for longer than 2 days I always change my mind and I never can be consistent at anything well except maybe for being a cunt... so dont ban me please altough I say so much bullshit - I try to say it only here in this thread - I need this fucking place . Well nobody ever needed me but comon man I am an incel alright why do I have to force myself to say things that I dont want to say always what is wrong with being inconsistent. Cant you see how much of a pathetic pussy I am - I really try not to but I keep coming back at this infantile state - I really want to become super blackpilled, based and admired but it is simply not possible because I was not meant to be great at anything. Listen it is okay what I say right? It does not break any rules, I only cope and it is sad and embarassing but that has been all my life, I have been really blackpilled for 3 fucking years, for 3 fucking years I was fucking allone but then I made one (male) friend. He was my fucking roommate and if it were not for him I would be fucking dead and you cannot be more based and blackpilled than that right? I know many here dont even have friends and they are really blackpilled and this place here belongs to them but please dont ban me this thread is my thread to life, if I lose that things will only get worse. I wont get my degree, I will have to live with my parents again, I wont get a job, I will probably kill myself or someone else - I have been there, I was literally living in another town (Munich) before changing universities and I was all alone not even had a friend and I was so fucking angry that I wanted to stab somebody, looked people in the eyes with disgust and pure hatred, watched porn and anime all day long, had breakfast at burger king, went to the cinema later, went to a brothel later and then went to a fucking sushi restaurant, indebted my parents with 10000 euros, and just 100 percent degeneratemaxxxing, it is not a nice place, it is sad and dark and shortlived. I mean you need some occasional blackpills but only to stay realistic and use the facts to move fucking forward. Blackpill gives hard limits, tells you what is good and bad and you should focus on that. Thats why people are fuming when someone ascends, he essentially throws the blackpill away and lets a degenerate whore rob him, making him his little slave in exchange of some whiff of pussy, all the facts about foid nature get thrown out of the window just because they allow themselves to be infatuated - there is only one based way of ascension and this is to get as much money as possible and marrying a third world toilet who is too dumb to speak the local language and 100 percents depends on you-everyone else is a simp/betabuxx or fakecel - you cannot get together with a western girl srsly because if you do you are a reason why the blackpill gets darker - divorce rates, adultery and exploitation thats the path it will go down, you will become a victim and maybe call in for some cuck-therapy



so anyways let me get back about my sermon on nofap because it helps me to write out things like that gives me a sense of accomplishment]

You will be overwhelmed because if you quit cold turkey you essentialy put your brain in a freeze state, your brain is accustomed to this high level of dopamine and suddenly you stop. Some guys including myself when I tried that have gotten suicidal. Yes your brain will turn on itself and against you and it will make you think I am worthless, there is nothing here for me to do, what is this life? And you might even think to commit suicide, thats one right? The second part of the repercussions is that you might feel so jittery, so anxious, so out of controle because you are, you are accustomed to putting that semen out, putting that energy out, day in and day out. Your system is not used to hold that semen, that is the same thing that happens to people who are not used to saving money, people are used to working and getting a paycheck but not saving the money. When you start saving money, the psychological repercussions might be great, you might just have one day and binge and spend all your money you saved, because you stopped saving it cold turkey and in great ammounts. The wide advice, in fact it has scientific backing, you start in small increments and get your system used to it. You are now rewiring your brain, you are now reproframming your subconscious mind which is your autonomous system. Slowly but surely you are rewiring your whole system, you are teaching your body to hold more energy than it is accustomed to. And thats whyI am talking about baby steps. I got hurt so bad trying it cold turkey. Your autonomous system will fight back if you try cold turkey, you are not used to hold this power inside of you, you have to teach your body to hold it in increments. So what I have to do is to start in small increments, hold it and incrementally. Now there is also out there adcice that is egoistical advice that says : NO fight yourself to hold it.Dont let it out. Dont relapse! Willpower is not enoguh. The law of lao tsu, the best way to win a war is to not getting engaged in the war. Dont get to the point where you have to fight with your willpower because you will lose. Willpower is a function of your conscious mind and controles 5 percent of your actions,your brain. The autonomous system responsible for semen, sex etc is responsible for 95 percent. The autonomous system is much more powerful. It will overpower you, it will overwhelm you, thats why you cannot do it by willpower. If you want to use any willpower you have to strategize ahead of time. Plan forward and never engage into the battle because you will lose that battle, you will be foolished to engage against your autonomous system. Thats the whole crucible of self development change your habits set up structure to make your good actions autonomous where you just choose them on autopilot unconsciously, laying some foundation, changing your habits where your body is able to keep that energy and hold that semen:dab::dab::dab::dab:(I am a fucking aspie and so fucking quirky-I realize how embarassing I am but I still do it OCD ... I guess) without engaging to willpower because you will fail like the 200 other times you did, your willl power is limited and decreases over to the day, thats why most men fap between 8pm or 3 am. So wgat your going to do is to tach your body to hold the energy incrementaly? How are you going to do that? Buy my course and get a 50 percent discount now! So lets say you fapped every single day, well the fist step, all we want to do is to skip one day without fapping and ejaculation. Because if you are used to do it every day then the one day you skip it means progress, it means success for you. After you have kept 1 day you are going for 2 day, and then you go for 3 days, and then you go for 4 days. Do you get my idea? Incrementally. Now you might be asking, are you saying. Now after I hold it one day, do I go back and relapse? Yes thats what I am saying. Not only you will succeed in maintainig your semen, eventually it be much quicker,you will be met with less resistsance and you will have less backlash from the autonomous system than the guy who is wuitting cold turkey. The guy who is quitting cold turkey, is gonna be overwhelmed,anxious,agressive. Hes gonna be in trouble and when he does relapse, he is going to relapse massively, he is going to binge. It is the same thing with diets, it is the same principle. You teach your body incrementally. Cold Turkey, what is going to happen if you are getting overwhelmend, you will binge, you will eat 5 pints of fucking ice cream. You are weak in willpower and it will overpower you. Bingingwill take you out of this whole progressive work one seeks to do. You know your work, you are serious about your work, you know man I really can keep this thing for three days. I have been faping and ejaculating every day, if I can skip one day its success, the two days, then 4 days, then a week, then 8 days, then 9 days, you understand. SO by the time you reach 6 months with this practice, your system will beaccustomed to hold that energy and there wont be a figh inside of you andtempted to watch porn and masturbate. Just as a baby has to fall and crawl untill it learns to walk.Eventually like me it can run but as a baby I have to crawl first, this is the same process. [It is fucking awesome how repetitive a video can be and I even cut out alot] You have to teach your system to hold this new power, to be accustomed to this new thing you are doing, you already going against nature by seeking to hold this semen. SO by going cold turkey it will turn your system upside down. Perhaps you have already going cold turkey and realize it is not working but this incremental success will work for you.
 
I got lost on the threads... fuck I dont use this site in a healthy way anymore. I will try to cut it off for a while it literally became my escape for a few days now. A lot of stuff I dont like, chads who are having sex, too much race bullshit and too many people I disagree with, well I mean it is good being in a place where you are disagreed with. Million Billion times better than cuckdit, the only cels I support are the ones who dont voice their opinion or wealthmaxxx, but the other ones :feelsUnreal::feelsUnreal: jeez too much :blackpill::blackpill::blackpill:. Its like talking to a wall with them and since you are the only one who wants to discuss things you can only lose. But they are essential, critics are essential. Having disagreements with distinguished blackpillers should act as an incentive even though none of my experience would ever win them over but thats not the point I dont want to be won over by them and thats why I have to face this darkness which honestly even mogs my negative self talk
 
How the hell I am still alive? I have to fucking work and burry my dreams. I wanted to do other things in my life but if I want to survive I have to give up my dreams, for example I wanted to learn Japanese, I already learned most of the kanjis but what is the point in pursuing it? I am a baby and I have to work if I want to survive- Anyways please dont respond or react, I assume many people alredy ignored me but it is probably for the better. The push notifications are not healthy. I dont blame the forum for anything but I actually do. I mean I am a pussy that always blames others. I have no backbone nothing. I just want to work now and sleeo and then wake up and fap and then work and then sleep. I dont want to fap for one day in a week. I have to stay alive longer what matters are months and weeks not what is happining right now..... I actually slowly feel like I can actually write whatever I want. I am tired of defending and caring and complaining
 
Hahaha I just LDARd the whole day in this forum, I dont want to fuck up again, I have to studyslave now shit, I hesitated to post but who gives a shit if the thread gets bumped again.
 
 
Ssss

I have to read this book - I have 2 months time
 
Hello,

To be honest I feel nofap its just cope. What I do is focus on working out, eat healthy and for muscle, practicing musical instruments, learning languages and making some art - I speak spanish and english currently learning french by myself.

This is something im starting to make, I made the video and music


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1x-s7cPJz4


So yes, in summarty for me self improevement is physical fitness, art and knowledge
 
Hello,

To be honest I feel nofap its just cope. What I do is focus on working out, eat healthy and for muscle, practicing musical instruments, learning languages and making some art - I speak spanish and english currently learning french by myself.

This is something im starting to make, I made the video and music


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1x-s7cPJz4


So yes, in summarty for me self improevement is physical fitness, art and knowledge

Based but always remember you have to cope otherwise you will kys eventually
 
Hey guys I know this is probably really cringe and probably not the first time to hear such a gay confession, but I am gonna open this thread here as some kind of journal I will try to make an entry every day I will try to do nofap and improoove. I know that I am probably not a truecel and only a failed normie because I still have hope. In general I will write in this thread here what ever I want. I know I am a cringy gay fagot who loves attention but I just accept it and in order to not spam other threads with my low effort shit tier writing I will confine myself here. I have to be honest to you guys when I see the threads here and how you treat each other I shit my pants at the thought that I will be the next victim, I am really fragile but I guess if you tell me to kms I have to try to ignore it or get used to it, I am really a pussy so in advance please dont tell me to kill myself. I am a new member here and I dont want to get in the way of anyone. I know there are hard rules here and a hierachy that is mercilesly enforced and not a place for outsiders and so people here will check new members and see if they fit in here. I honestly dont think I fit in here, I dont like anime so much that I would make such an avi. I also dont really read the stuff other people write here or contribute something of value that others would enjoy. I only think about myself all the time. I understand that this a community here where I have to adapt to a certain degree so I will try not to be too defensive and get used to the rough tone. As you could probably tell I am a reddit cuck and therefore write so much bullshit but please dont ban me. I need a board where I can have the illusion that at least some people can read the farts I produce, and reddit doesnt like the content I write because it is too violent and aspie at times (most of the times it is not). I will try to write in a not too boring style, with themes you hopefully can relate to: ragefuel, traumatic experiences, emptiness etc. but also occasional small victories. Writing really helps me and is only kind of therapy I can afford. I know that this board has a very high IQ so I will of course try to impress you but at the same time accept to get ignored or critisized
Don't worry I'll try not to be an asshole.
Seriously though good on you for not giving up and keep going at it.
 

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