Discussion Are bonds real? Have you ever felt close to anyone?

[D. B. Gooner]

My whole life, every single connection I've had felt meaningless, performative, and transactional. People are your friends as long as you can entertain them. Then they abandon you. This made me feel like I was incapable of forming connections.

But thinking about it now, what if that's all there is to connections? What if all the normal people have the exact same experience as me, but never seek anything deeper? Maybe it's not that I can't form connections, maybe connections are simply shallow. Maybe I've been sold a false ideal, and have been searching for something that doesn't exist. If I fall in love with a woman, have sex with her, start a family with her, will I feel like I've discovered something beyond transactions, or will I have the same empty feeling? Maybe relationships are meant to be shallow and transactional, and I've glorified them in order to feel sophisticated and special.

Do bonds exist? Have you ever had a real, deep, bond?

 

[fokusin]

Maybe with family they are real

 

[D. B. Gooner]

Maybe with family they are real

I like hanging out with my family, but I don't feel anything beyond that. It doesn't feel different from when I used to hang out with friends in elementary school.

 

[fokusin]

I like hanging out with my family, but I don't feel anything beyond that. It doesn't feel different from when I used to hang out with friends in elementary school.

Family connection doesn't feel transactional or performative to me

 

[AutismHaver]

what even is a real connection? there's no reason to take life personally when we're all adults who can take care of themselves

 

[D. B. Gooner]

what even is a real connection? there's no reason to take life personally when we're all adults who can take care of themselves

Well that's what I'm wondering. People always talk about being close to others so I wonder what that feels like. If that's the same feeling I've always felt, then it's simply not satisfying and I'm doomed.

 

[Violet loner]

Kinda feel the same

 

[itsovER99]

The struggle between the people and the hatred amongst them is being nurtured by very specific interested parties. It is a small, rootless, international clique that is turning the people against each other, that does not want them to have peace ... It is the people who are at home both nowhere and everywhere, who do not have anywhere a soil on which they have grown up,

 

[Caichan]

Outside of family no

 

[aloocard]

In a way I think people like us see the human experience for what it really is.

 

[UndergroundHuman]

Even if human relationships are hollow and transactional it's better to think otherwise, if you're not ready to abuse it. And it's not really a big of a problem, if human relationships are ultimately transactional, since transactions can be not only a material, but also psychological, social, emotional and so on. You making people around laugh cracking jokes and them inviting you to a meal in order to match teir credo of grantor and caregiver are also participating in a transctional relationships.

 

[UndergroundHuman]

Even if human relationships are hollow and transactional it's better to think otherwise, if you're not ready to abuse it. And it's not really a big of a problem, if human relationships are ultimately transactional, since transactions can be not only a material, but also psychological, social, emotional and so on. You making people around laugh cracking jokes and them inviting you to a meal in order to match teir credo of grantor and caregiver are also participating in a transctional relationships.

sadly, those things rarely present in our monkey-ass lifes

 

[UndergroundHuman]

The struggle between the people and the hatred amongst them is being nurtured by very specific interested parties. It is a small, rootless, international clique that is turning the people against each other, that does not want them to have peace ... It is the people who are at home both nowhere and everywhere, who do not have anywhere a soil on which they have grown up,

I believe that "parties" most of the time are not creating those divisions and intergroup hatred, but just using already existing basis of xenophobia and ingroup favouritism, which is part of human nature, in their own interests in order to fight for limited resources.

 

[Rapemaxxer]

No. Everything is transactional. And there's no such thing as genuine connection. All comunication you have with others is performative.

 

[UndergroundHuman]

No. Everything is transactional. And there's no such thing as genuine connection. All comunication you have with others is performative.

Motives of relationships are not so important if you get wanted outcome.

 

[D. B. Gooner]

Motives of relationships are not so important if you get wanted outcome.

Sure but that only means it's over for me as an ND who's pretty much incapable of faking opinions and enthusiasm.

 

[UndergroundHuman]

Sure but that only means it's over for me as an ND who's pretty much incapable of faking opinions and enthusiasm.

But do you enjoy human interactions if they are not require faking or require little faking?

 

[D. B. Gooner]

But do you enjoy human interactions if they are not require faking or require little faking?

I'm ngl I don't get many of those. Ig I like hanging out with my dad at times.

 

[UndergroundHuman]

I'm ngl I don't get many of those. Ig I like hanging out with my dad at times.

Well, you have 2300 posts on various topics here, therfore you're clearly enjoying human interactions in one way or another. Thats a good thing.

 

[Lo3e]

Do bonds exist? Have you ever had a real, deep, bond?

yes I think they are real

could never escortcel since I would get attached to the whore

 

[Halloween]

i only know BDSM.
otherwise, bonds mean nothing to me anymore

 

[D. B. Gooner]

Well, you have 2300 posts on various topics here, therfore you're clearly enjoying human interactions in one way or another. Thats a good thing.

It's kinda like a diary but sure I do like when people validate me.

 

[UndergroundHuman]

It's kinda like a diary but sure I do like when people validate me.

Well, i think that you can get some kind of validation and gratification even from braindead normie-talks via humour or some kind of virtue signaling. And you can get validation for your ideas and logical constructs if you participate in conversation with people who have similar interests. Back in the days talking about football with couple of normies in school helped me alot.

 

[D. B. Gooner]

Well, i think that you can get some kind of validation and gratification even from braindead normie-talks via humour or some kind of virtue signaling. And you can get validation for your ideas and logical constructs if you participate in conversation with people who have similar interests. Back in the days talking about football with couple of normies in school helped me alot.

My 1 normie thing is Naruto ig I have to look for a Naruto fan. But at some point some of my opinions will slip out and I'll be abandoned and I'm deathly afraid of that.

 

[UndergroundHuman]

My 1 normie thing is Naruto ig I have to look for a Naruto fan. But at some point some of my opinions will slip out and I'll be abandoned and I'm deathly afraid of that.

Yeah, that's a problem. But there is for sure quite a lot of people with quite, let's say, specific views, who are nonetheless able to participate in normie-talks and benefit from it.

 

[nazianime]

Yes bonds are real, I have become mentally ill enough to bond with my doll slightly. But makes you realize how out of touch you are with any normalcy.

 

[itsovER99]

I believe that "parties" most of the time are not creating those divisions and intergroup hatred, but just using already existing basis of xenophobia and ingroup favouritism, which is part of human nature, in their own interests in order to fight for limited resources.

Yeah that was from 1933 factory speach but honestly i kinda dont care anymore the jewish ifluance is absurd

 

[Diddy]

I thought it said bombs at first

 

[yeetbender_]

Perhaps, but not to the point where I'd really want to compromise myself.

 

[St3v3Cel]

Do bonds exist? Have you ever had a real, deep, bond?

No, bonds are not real. The reason for that is because human communication and the capacity for people to understand each other is far too limited. When a person thinks he loves someone, whether romantically or platonically, what he actually loves is the idea he built up in his head of that person. It is nowhere near what that actual person is like. This means that loneliness in life is absolute, but personally I don't think that is an issue anymore. I could ramble on about why I think that and what the only ways for people to finally understand each other could be, as well as why that would not be worth doing. But I will hold back on that in case that is not something you want to hear about. It would be a pretty long reply.

 

[X-MALICUR]

My whole life, every single connection I've had felt meaningless, performative, and transactional. People are your friends as long as you can entertain them. Then they abandon you. This made me feel like I was incapable of forming connections.

Not to mention all the perquisites that are required to get a 'connection' in the first place: status, money, looks, etc. It's never without some kind of potential external gain or ulterior motive. The blatant falsities of romantic relationships are just an amplification of hollowness of connections broadly. Everything is and will always be conditional.

 

[LeFrenchCel]

A few people in my childhood

Otherwise no

 

[Giracel]

My immediate 3 family members and I guess former HS oneitis that I was cucked out of (I avoid discussing this online but I might have to eventually). All interests after HS, have been just observing the girl form behind glass. No real connections with male friends at any point (supposed "best friend" from childhood was actually a very harmful person).

 

[D. B. Gooner]

what he actually loves is the idea he built up in his head of that person.

True, I do this a lot. I project my idea of a perfect human being onto others to fill in the blanks of what I don't know about a person. Then I start to feel as if they look down on me because I see them as this perfect entity and I begin to resent them.

 

[St3v3Cel]

True, I do this a lot. I project my idea of a perfect human being onto others to fill in the blanks of what I don't know about a person. Then I start to feel as if they look down on me because I see them as this perfect entity and I begin to resent them.

I used to do that myself. Eventually you realise that there isn't much going on behind most people's eyes, and the things that are there aren't very good or interesting. This goes for yourself as well. I don't find myself so interesting anymore at least.

 

[Grodd]

Yes

 

[kly3]

no

 

[FoidsEnshittifyAll]

well if empath and ND like you , with family they maybe kinda real. but still got transactional expectations from you to a degree.. .

 

[liria]

Maybe with family they are real

I feel like if you are a complete failure family won’t love you as well. There’s no one for us in this cruel world

 

[Sir Silentium]

Yes, but that connection has never been mutual

 

[AmadeusCelibatus]

I have a deep bond with my brothers in Christ

 

[Xul]

No

 

[Tetsuya]

Bonds are real but it's rare and most people befriend or couple up with people who are convenient or useful to them, not because they actually like them. I had a friend I bonded with but he died when I was 25