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Serious Any way to harden onself emotionally without becoming bitter or dead inside?

Gyros_Pretcel

Gyros_Pretcel

19th c. Church of Hamlossus high priest contender
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I realized I need to overcome being easily triggered by the different typical kinds of ropefuels here and in my life.

I used to overplay my autism and disgust for the world with thugplay/misantrophy compensation in highschool. I was even kinda seen as normal for some time, I guess, but it had no prolonged positive psychological effect on me and made me emotionally dead and motivationless for that time.

You could say: "Just avoid those situations." "Don't read the stuff." "Don't go out." etc.. Doesn't work anymore my physical pain is to strong. If I am not able to change my situation, I'll have to committ suicide, but I don't want to die anymore after my last failed attempt tbh.

It's not about anxiety. No matter how much I expose myself, the feeling doesn't go away.

It's probably not the typical autism socializing terror as well. (Does this exist?)

It's more a deep feeling of melancholy, disgust, alienation and ̶f̶̶e̶̶a̶̶r̶ realization of missing out.

Is this maybe more a sign of depression?

Can anyone relate?
 
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