VλREN
I wish I could be somebody else
★★★★★
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2022
- Posts
- 23,114
- Online time
- 4d 3h
I’ve returned to my hometown for Christmas, it’s only been six months since I left on short notice
I am feeling white pilled but also paranoid, I’ll explain it like this
Completely miserable and blackpilled: not a lot of fear, don’t really feel paranoid just completely pissed and resentful towards the world
Somewhat hopeful and whitepilled: I feel euphoric but I also start to feel very paranoid and worried about the future
I know it’s probably just short term hope and euphoria but I know I got to use it to fuel something
Beyond that I don’t feel anything being here, I don’t feel any teary eyed nostalgia or any crap like that.
It’s more of a feeling like “oh yeah this the one mile radius i spent nine years and my teen years mindlessly screwing around out”. But I’ll tell you that the first few months after leaving this place was the worst, like all I wanted to do was return to this place.
I lived in my home town my entire life until now, but I lived in this particular area of the town for 9 years (I was 13 when we moved in and then I was 22 when I left) I get this feeling that it’s the same old insanity tbh, like I am just reanimating my old habits
Perhaps that’s the only thing I am good at……
I am feeling white pilled but also paranoid, I’ll explain it like this
Completely miserable and blackpilled: not a lot of fear, don’t really feel paranoid just completely pissed and resentful towards the world
Somewhat hopeful and whitepilled: I feel euphoric but I also start to feel very paranoid and worried about the future
I know it’s probably just short term hope and euphoria but I know I got to use it to fuel something
Beyond that I don’t feel anything being here, I don’t feel any teary eyed nostalgia or any crap like that.
It’s more of a feeling like “oh yeah this the one mile radius i spent nine years and my teen years mindlessly screwing around out”. But I’ll tell you that the first few months after leaving this place was the worst, like all I wanted to do was return to this place.
I lived in my home town my entire life until now, but I lived in this particular area of the town for 9 years (I was 13 when we moved in and then I was 22 when I left) I get this feeling that it’s the same old insanity tbh, like I am just reanimating my old habits
Perhaps that’s the only thing I am good at……





