I just looked at myself there for the first time in a while and its just brutal, though I'm more used to it now and just felt a hollow resignation.
I literally look like a wizard at 19, like the type of fucker locked in a tower studying the dark arts, maybe a more ethnic snape, I don't know what the fuck happened to me, I was really normal at 8, I saw a picture of myself and I actually really thought I looked good, then out of nowhere I looked like a 30 year old fat Hispanic from 13-15, and then I don't even know how to describe myself now.
I both look and feel young and old in all the wrong ways. My face lacks the dimorphism that comes with age yet looks so worn down and beaten up. I have not achieved any social milestones since 12, I literally feel like a kid but at the same time I'm so incredibly bitter and my body hurts like an old man, it feels absolutely insane to watch videos of people my age doing backflips or just walking and talking, it feels like they have some fire or vigor in them propelling them that is completely absent in me, and it was like that even before I got blackpilled. I had to fucking work just to run a 10 minute mile, I jogged a ton after school and never went under 9 minutes. Something about my biology is incongruent with the world.
I literally look like a wizard at 19, like the type of fucker locked in a tower studying the dark arts, maybe a more ethnic snape, I don't know what the fuck happened to me, I was really normal at 8, I saw a picture of myself and I actually really thought I looked good, then out of nowhere I looked like a 30 year old fat Hispanic from 13-15, and then I don't even know how to describe myself now.
I both look and feel young and old in all the wrong ways. My face lacks the dimorphism that comes with age yet looks so worn down and beaten up. I have not achieved any social milestones since 12, I literally feel like a kid but at the same time I'm so incredibly bitter and my body hurts like an old man, it feels absolutely insane to watch videos of people my age doing backflips or just walking and talking, it feels like they have some fire or vigor in them propelling them that is completely absent in me, and it was like that even before I got blackpilled. I had to fucking work just to run a 10 minute mile, I jogged a ton after school and never went under 9 minutes. Something about my biology is incongruent with the world.
