Ah man sometimes it gets bad. I go to bed and I can’t stop crying knowing I will leave nothing of value behind. It has gone beyond not finding a partner. I can’t feel happy anymore. Whatever I had as a child, be it the youthful optimism or just ignorance of the world, I don’t have it anymore. I realized what all of this is. A facade. We are all playing roles in a play. We all go somewhere and perform and then we go back to our corners and look in the mirror. I think to myself sometimes that nobody will ever completely understand me, understand the place that my understanding of the world comes from. You are alone, and the idea of having an “other half” isn’t true. It’s a fictitious facade. By the time I turn 30 I’m going to rope.
