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Blackpill Your Earliest Black Pill Moments

BlkPillPres

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I was in my teens, sitting at home watching TV, and this song came up on the TV. I can never forget it because the words of the chorus were so simple, and watching the video really stuck in my head because it gave me this feeling that everyone else was doing this thing I was missing out on.



That line "its only natural" kept ringing in my head, telling me that this was going on everywhere, I just wasn't quite sure what it was (did not have access to porn videos yet), the video was constructed in such a way that it wasn't in your face obvious what he meant (well to 14 year old me) and just seemed like some weird "artsy" video for "being in love", its really just about fucking. Sex, that's what I was missing out on.

Most of you probably had that moment in your young teens similar to mines, but my FIRST moments were even earlier. I was like 5 or so, maybe slightly older. There was this P.E. teacher at my primary school, daughter was beautiful, he brought her to school that day, she would come every once in a while, she was really tall from my perspective, probably 18 or so when she came.

I remember literally digging around in my yard and found a silver chain and I cleaned it with a toothbrush and soap water and was going to give it to her. I guess at that time that was my concept of "wooing" a woman, probably learned it from TV, you give them gifts. Luckily I was stopped by my sister who bestowed the first black pill I can probably ever remember, told me she wouldn't want that gift, it wasn't worth anything, she wouldn't like me. The younger me was confused because I was thinking - "but I put so much effort into getting this, surely that won't be true" (JFL and the naivety of a blue pilled youth).

Honestly I can't remember whether I took her advice or not, its like a repressed memory. One thing I do remember, on the another occasion she came to school I remember walking into a classroom where no one was around, she was there with like 2 or 3 other guys in her age range, I think I tried to actually tell them off (JFL I was always a brave fucker, those guys were huge to me). She could tell I like her, gave me a pat on the head. I think they were about to "do some stuff" when I look back on it now because I remember one guy holding her butt while the other guy pushed me out of the room and closed the door. They were all laughing and smiling, like I was a joke, bitch probably thought "that was cute".

That was the first moment I got an inkling that there was something older people were doing that I was missing out on, being denied, likely why I haven't and never will forget that moment, it was so significant when I look back on it now. Though older guys like us still get the "pat on the head", just in a different way - "I like you as a friend" or "you're cute but", or sometimes its even just a look. No wonder I'm so filled with rage, anger and distrust for women and humans in general, it has been building in my for more than a decade.

I was basically bathed in black pills in a small time frame, drowned in it. Learning that money matters to women and they want expensive gifts at the age of 5, and in such a significant way, I guess I was lucky I got black pilled early, which is why it hurt less and was much easier to embrace the black pill when I came into understanding of how the world worked, I was already "primed" for it.

I really hope she isn't dead, and I pray that she has aged well, like i've told you guys before I plan on doing some shit soon that is going to make waves. At some point I'm going to "breakaway" from my current crappy life, and I am going to seek her out. I know her fathers name but not her name, I may have to do some digging, maybe go back to my old school and ask for some info. I need to see her one day, to finish this. Its always been something I felt I left "unfinished", I need to complete it.

I do not wish to harm her in any way, I just wish to look upon her and talk to her with true vision, not the being the blind and confused child, but the man who sees her for what she is.

What were your earliest black pill moments?
 
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R

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My earliest I was 8 years old. There was a really cute white girl in my class I liked. I was the shortest smallest kid in my class like always growing up. Plus ethnic. One of my friends was a much taller handsome white guy.

Two blackpills. One: I always even from that age was envious of my tall white friend because I knew he had something I never would. He was physically attractive. He looked like the people on TV and in the movies. While I looked like a weird little mutant instead. Even then I knew. I remember my jealousy well.

Second I remember that Halloween. I had planned on dressing up as something else. Then I heard the girl I liked was gonna go as Supergirl the day before. So the night before I begged my mom to make me a Superman costume instead so maybe we'd be "together" in that way. I didn't tell my mom why, but she did it anyway. The next day she didn't show up as Supergirl at all. I made my mom do all that work for nothing. It was mentally embarrassing to me. I learned that jumping through a bunch of hoops isn't going to change who I am or what I get in life.

Most of my life since has just been reliving variations of those same two blackpills over and over. Until I've gotten to this point.
 
Deleted member 265

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at 14yo i already had a loli folder jfl at late bloomers tbh tbh
 
Words2_live_bye

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Fucking hell that song is good. Thanks for showing me something new
Side point, my older brother was CONSTNATLY dropping red and blackpills when i was a kid. Back then i just assumed he was crazy
oh how wrong i was
at 14yo i already had a loli folder jfl at late bloomers tbh tbh
Why would having that make you a late blomer?
I currently have a porn folder with thousands of photos
 
BlkPillPres

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at 14yo i already had a loli folder jfl at late bloomers tbh tbh
Poor, did not have internet. Not all of us are born into families that made even decent money. Familys income increased over years as they pursued various qualifications (e.g. mother did nursing, catering, etc).
Second I remember that Halloween. I had planned on dressing up as something else. Then I heard the girl I liked was gonna go as Supergirl the day before. So the night before I begged my mom to make me a Superman costume instead so maybe we'd be "together" in that way. I didn't tell my mom why, but she did it anyway. The next day she didn't show up as Supergirl at all. I made my mom do all that work for nothing. It was mentally embarrassing to me. I learned that jumping through a bunch of hoops isn't going to change who I am or what I get in life.

This story really hit home, I don't think women ever understand how young at an age men get traumatized, women go through their entire lives really never having to see how dark this world is, and how unfair, they can get all the basic wants in life by just being a woman, never even facing endless rejection.

Women don't have stories like these. Its always - "chad doesn't even look in my direction"
Fucking hell that song is good. Thanks for showing me something new

I fucking hate that song, can't stand it, makes me cringe.
 
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Clock Tower

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I never had any moments. I just.. knew it from the start. I would look at my father every now and then and see my future self in his eyes. I started developing a unibrow at the age of 8. My face got bloated. My teeth got crooked. I knew it was going to be like this. I knew I would never get a chance with a girl. I knew I didn't deserve that. Luckily I accepted my fate in my early years. I never deluded myself into thinking I'll get love one day.

I hope you find that girl and manage to talk to her. I hope things turn out to be better for you.
 
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Poor, did not have internet. Not all of us are born into families that made even decent money. Familys income increased over years as they pursued various qualifications (e.g. mother did nursing, catering, etc).


brutal income pill ngl ngl

im poor though
 
Insomniac

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When I saw my brother making lots of friends and that girls always wanted to be around him while I was lonely and outcast from social circles. I think that’s when I began to realize that his looks grant him certain privileges that I can never have.
 
Unzöl

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When I was 13 years old and I had a crush on my first oneitis, a cute brunette with glasses. I tried to contact her via her friends who said to me in a condescending tone "she doesn't like you!". Then I let my buddies (also nerdy and unpopular guys in my school) get some message from her that turned out to be "He's even uglier than R (one of the ugliest guys in my class)".

One semester later I saw her walking hand in hand with another guy. He's not even that attractive, a high tier normie at most, and he's a jerk.

I still remained bluepilled for years later till I got redpilled 2 years ago. But the above-mentioned experience hurt me deeply and definitely counts as my first blackpill moment, even though I wasn't conscious at all at the time.
 
BlkPillPres

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I hope you find that girl and manage to talk to her. I hope things turn out to be better for you.

I just want that "Apocalypse Moment" tbh. In the origin comics for apocalypse (X-men) there was this woman he liked that rejected him, he came back years later when she was old and withered to rub it in, all the power he had attained, all the youth he still had, and she was just some old woman on deaths door.

Whe you think about it, its funny for this all powerful being to take time to do something so mundane and you could even say "petty". But it was a part of his life that he felt was left "incomplete". He had to close the final door on that part of his life. I want to do the same.

I doubt it will be that perfect though, but to see her losing her looks and being part of a dysfunctional or broken family, that would would be good enough.
 
StaroRavager

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Reading ER's manifesto
 
TheRealChincel

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Three moments stick out, two within the same day. I was 10 and started to “notice” females, so I was assigned to go with the girl I liked by what I thought was fate to deliver class supplies. As I’m going in with her, she said to me “stay outside you’re an embarrassment!” I was very tall for my age and looked goofy so I realized it was how I looked.

This was confirmed after school when I went out with my family to eat. I was looking at a teen and my dad noticed so he said “my son likes you!” Guess he thought it was cute but she looked like she wanted to puke and would avoid us in future outings. The third and most crushing realization was when I was 14 and in my first week of school, I was approached by a group of senior girls and they pretended to be into me blowing kisses and saying my name seductively. Now imagine the guy in my signature but with hair and 6’5 and 180. I was so ugly that senior girls noticed it and mocked me within DAYS! So yeah, the black pills have been brutal and that was just me living my life.
 
BlkPillPres

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Reading ER's manifesto

That I would say was my "final" black pill moment, when I full accepted it, and accepted that I was incel, and nothing was going to change for me if I continued playing by a normie rule set. Hearing his story and reading his manifesto truly changed my life.
 
G

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Seeing people of the same gender getting treated better for having more attractive faces is when i realized life is a piece of horseshit
 
BluePillsPoison

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I was in my teens, sitting at home watching TV, and this song came up on the TV. I can never forget it because the words of the chorus were so simple, and watching the video really stuck in my head because it gave me this feeling that everyone else was doing this thing I was missing out on.



That line "its only natural" kept ringing in my head, telling me that this was going on everywhere, I just wasn't quite sure what it was (did not have access to porn videos yet), the video was constructed in such a way that it wasn't in your face obvious what he meant (well to 14 year old me) and just seemed like some weird "artsy" video for "being in love", its really just about fucking. Sex, that's what I was missing out on.

Most of you probably had that moment in your young teens similar to mines, but my FIRST moments were even earlier. I was like 5 or so, maybe slightly older. There was this P.E. teacher at my primary school, daughter was beautiful, he brought her to school that day, she would come every once in a while, she was really tall from my perspective, probably 18 or so when she came.

I remember literally digging around in my yard and found a silver chain and I cleaned it with a toothbrush and soap water and was going to give it to her. I guess at that time that was my concept of "wooing" a woman, probably learned it from TV, you give them gifts. Luckily I was stopped by my sister who bestowed the first black pill I can probably ever remember, told me she wouldn't want that gift, it wasn't worth anything, she wouldn't like me. The younger me was confused because I was thinking - "but I put so much effort into getting this, surely that won't be true" (JFL and the naivety of a blue pilled youth).

Honestly I can't remember whether I took her advice or not, its like a repressed memory. One thing I do remember, on the another occasion she came to school I remember walking into a classroom where no one was around, she was there with like 2 or 3 other guys in her age range, I think I tried to actually tell them off (JFL I was always a brave fucker, those guys were huge to me). She could tell I like her, gave me a pat on the head. I think they were about to "do some stuff" when I look back on it now because I remember one guy holding her butt while the other guy pushed me out of the room and closed the door. They were all laughing and smiling, like I was a joke, bitch probably thought "that was cute".

That was the first moment I got an inkling that there was something older people were doing that I was missing out on, being denied, likely why I haven't and never will forget that moment, it was so significant when I look back on it now. Though older guys like us still get the "pat on the head", just in a different way - "I like you as a friend" or "you're cute but", or sometimes its even just a look. No wonder I'm so filled with rage, anger and distrust for women and humans in general, it has been building in my for more than a decade.

I was basically bathed in black pills in a small time frame, drowned in it. Learning that money matters to women and they want expensive gifts at the age of 5, and in such a significant way, I guess I was lucky I got black pilled early, which is why it hurt less and was much easier to embrace the black pill when I came into understanding of how the world worked, I was already "primed" for it.

I really hope she isn't dead, and I pray that she has aged well, like i've told you guys before I plan on doing some shit soon that is going to make waves. At some point I'm going to "breakaway" from my current crappy life, and I am going to seek her out. I know her fathers name but not her name, I may have to do some digging, maybe go back to my old school and ask for some info. I need to see her one day, to finish this. Its always been something I felt I left "unfinished", I need to complete it.

I do not wish to harm her in any way, I just wish to look upon her and talk to her with true vision, not the being the blind and confused child, but the man who sees her for what she is.

What were your earliest black pill moments?



You got a bad case of oneitis.
 
BlkPillPres

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You got a bad case of oneitis.

Lol dude no, in fact I think oneitis is complete bullshit, I just liked her because she was really pretty, but I've seen better looking women over the years, and to top it off I can barely remember how she looks. For me this is just a "poetic justice" kind of thing, it all started with this one person, so I have to end it with this one person.

Anybody claiming they have a oneitis is not black pilled. I've never considered any woman "the one" to be honest, just "the next target".

You'll truly get what I'm doing from this post:

I just want that "Apocalypse Moment" tbh. In the origin comics for apocalypse (X-men) there was this woman he liked that rejected him, he came back years later when she was old and withered to rub it in, all the power he had attained, all the youth he still had, and she was just some old woman on deaths door.

Whe you think about it, its funny for this all powerful being to take time to do something so mundane and you could even say "petty". But it was a part of his life that he felt was left "incomplete". He had to close the final door on that part of his life. I want to do the same.

I doubt it will be that perfect though, but to see her losing her looks and being part of a dysfunctional or broken family, that would would be good enough.
 
Deleted member 11318

Deleted member 11318

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I had some blackpill moments from my school days. I still remember two of them.

1. When I was 10, a fat Afghan girl classmate wrote me a note and gave it to me. I was curious about what she wrote to me and opened the note ... She wrote there how ugly and disgusting she finds me ... I acted as if that would not interest me and laughed ... But inside was I really destroyed ... Why did she do that, I thought?

2. That happened to me when I was 11. Two girls from school startet looking at me and one said "ihhh who is that" and wanted to suggest how ugly I am. Again, I just laughed and pretended that I did not care ...

Of course, I have experienced many other Blackpill moments, but these two are especially memorable. I know since boys years how superficial girls are.
 
Rice Cel

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I saw black pill everywhere even when I was bluepilled but denied it
 
K.Y.Vocel

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Black pill is something i always had once i gained consciousness so after i turned 12 i started to become fat and undesirable i spent my times being some niggers personal chair, honestly enraging which led me to gain rage ever since then i'd been some soulless ruthless cold hearted man.
 
Deleted member 5861

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Being called ugly alot
 
KingChemist

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First EVER blackpill moment came to me when I was 5. I liked this girl in kindergarten so much that one day I used my allowance to buy her roses. I proceeded to give them to her and asked if she would come to the dance or play or whatever with me. She straight up turned me down lol. I got so sad that I went home and wept for days. I then got pissed and scratched her pic off the class photos. Blackpill came to me early and to this day still never left. I still have the class pictures at home. I remember her name too... It was Martha.
 
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In kindergarten when a pack of wild foids pushed me down into a ant hill. not joking.

Oh yeah also in middle school during forced square dancing ( i fucking hated it) a foid flat out refused to touch my hand.

and they wonder why some of us go insane.

Why not add more.... during high school in foods class a foid got into the habit of pulling my pants down. happened three times in total. i still remember what it felt like to be laughed at by everyone and humiliated. she never got in any trouble either even though the teacher knew about it.
Now i sit here in constant chronic pain while she enjoys her life fucking one chad after another. i fucking hate this world.
 
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WillyBlogAndFriends

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My earliest I was 8 years old. There was a really cute white girl in my class I liked. I was the shortest smallest kid in my class like always growing up. Plus ethnic. One of my friends was a much taller handsome white guy.

Two blackpills. One: I always even from that age was envious of my tall white friend because I knew he had something I never would. He was physically attractive. He looked like the people on TV and in the movies. While I looked like a weird little mutant instead. Even then I knew. I remember my jealousy well.

Second I remember that Halloween. I had planned on dressing up as something else. Then I heard the girl I liked was gonna go as Supergirl the day before. So the night before I begged my mom to make me a Superman costume instead so maybe we'd be "together" in that way. I didn't tell my mom why, but she did it anyway. The next day she didn't show up as Supergirl at all. I made my mom do all that work for nothing. It was mentally embarrassing to me. I learned that jumping through a bunch of hoops isn't going to change who I am or what I get in life.

Most of my life since has just been reliving variations of those same two blackpills over and over. Until I've gotten to this point.

1) wear 4" elevator shoes +2" lifts
2) dye hair blonde
3) wear blue iris contacts
4) put on skin whittening cream or white out
 
Sadist

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HS. When I realized no matter how much self improvement I did I couldn't get my oneitis to notice me romantically. I turned my life almost 180 degrees for that bitch and for nothing. I was a fucking gamer/metalhead, mediocre grades, and far from being an athlete. By the end I had a feint six pack, was in good overall shape cause of running (being in the running team), was accepted to a good uni. I was nice to her and would help her with her hw and genuinely liked her a lot and not just in terms of her looks. But instead she chose a fucking loser of a guy who already had a fucking baby mama and no future just because he was a "true" jock. JFL at how fucked life is.

In a sense its very similar to your story of a child only mine was when I was older. you go out and do a lot for someone thinking it will sway them but in the end it doesn't mean anything. I guess its all the movie propaganda that feeds you this shit. I always (and still do kek) watched the shitty teen romance films (particularly the older ones, not the shit new ones) and guess just thought thats how things worked.

Thinking about it is making me wanna :feelsrope:. Thinking how naive I was, and thinking I could change myself to fit this imaginary vision I had for myself is such potent :feelsrope:.

And speaking of The Killers (good song btw), I always relate more to this song or video at least:


Although I had no relationship with her I felt like this. Constantly thinking of the "what ifs". Also the brutal feeling when I saw her with the other guy. And the ending is relatable too, he feels bitter about life while she probably had a happy ending. Also the animated girl from the vid kind of looks like my oneitis. Fuck man I hate thinking about HS.
 
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BlkPillPres

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And speaking of The Killers (good song btw)

I hate the song btw, on so many levels, there's the unbiased level where I think it just sounds mediocre and isn't that melodic. Then there's the personal bias of it being a reminder of slowly realizing that sex was being had everyone by everyone and I was being left out.
 
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Sadist

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I hate the song btw, on so many levels, there's the unbiased level where I think it just sounds mediocre and isn't that melodic. Then there's the personal bias of it being a reminder of slowly realizing that sex was being had everyone by everyone and I was being left out.
Oh well I liked it. Also why you quote yourself?
 
acnescarcel

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I've known since childhood that looks money and status were all that mattered everyone else did too they just rather cope
 
BlkPillPres

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Oh well I liked it. Also why you quote yourself?
JFL don't know how that happened, I quoted your text for some reason it referenced my comment, will change it
 
Deleted member 126

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I had always had a very positive outlook on life. After high school things did not go so well. I learned that the planet wasn't actually a good place and that I really didn't have a good future ahead of me. I was extremely depressed for several years but now I am getting use to it. I am still depressed most of the time though.
 
Michael15651

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Gigaselfblackpillrealisation

Anyone know who this was?

I remember him postmaxing with me back in the day with Insomniac, Ritalincel, and Cuyen but his profile doesn’t even pop up.
 
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