You can't work on your personality

[BaffleTrot]

Normies love saying things like "You need to go to therapy and work on your personality", but the reality is that that just doesn't work. Specifically, there are some fluid aspects of your personality, and there are some aspects that are set in stone. Introverted people don't become extraverted just because they thought about it a lot. Maybe if somebody goes through some kind of seriously traumatic shit, or gets a brain injury or something the stable parts of their personality can change.

It helps to think of one's personality as being an extension of your body. You can change things like your hairstyle, build muscle, grow a beard, well, some of us on that last one, but what you can't do is grow taller or change the shape of your skull. You can go to therapy and put yourself in situations where you can have greater confidence and self-esteem, but what normies don't get is that introverts don't just "need confidence" to become extraverts, a confident introvert is just the same as an unconfident one, except that they live their introverted lives with a little less stress.

The real blackpill is the fact that personality and looks aren't really different in any way. They're similarly locked in with each other, and if your particular looks and personality aren't the kind that society likes, then, well, you're screwed and nobody is going to help you. I repeat, you're screwed, and help is not on the way.

 

[Deleted member 41364]

You can change your personality. Many people can do it to ea[UWSL]ch person. Personality=fake.[/UWSL]

 

[idk125]

you right u cant work on personality because its all about looks at the end of the day

 

[BaffleTrot]

You can change your personality. Many people can do it in each person. Personality=fake.

You can code switch for sure, but your personality traits are stable. I don't act the same with my boss as I do with my parents, but that doesn't make me any less introverted.

A good example is the Big 5 personality traits, very popular among psychologists since they've been demonstrated to be very stable over time and situation. Everyone can definitely put on a different mask for each person they're with, but these deeper, underlying personality traits don't change or go away, barring some big life changes.

• conscientiousness (efficient/organized vs. extravagant/careless)
• extraversion (outgoing/energetic vs. solitary/reserved)
• agreeableness (friendly/compassionate vs. critical/rational)
• neuroticism (sensitive/nervous vs. resilient/confident)
• openness to experience (inventive/curious vs. consistent/cautious)

 

[Clock58]

Over

 

[Deleted member 42077]

"Go to therapy inkwell" they are like literal npcs saying that shit. Do they have brains? What will therapy do?

 

[BaffleTrot]

you right u cant work on personality because its all about looks at the end of the day

No matter how bad your personality is, a sharp jawline will always fix it. Foids have to build a narrative about why they like you, and actually talking to someone is hard and time consuming, so it's easier for them to just look at your face and project personality traits onto you that way.

 

[idk125]

No matter how bad your personality is, a sharp jawline will always fix it. Foids have to build a narrative about why they like you, and actually talking to someone is hard and time consuming, so it's easier for them to just look at your face and project personality traits onto you that way.

i agree with you this is how fucked up women are when it comes to judging males

 

[BaffleTrot]

"Go to therapy inkwell" they are like literal npcs saying that shit. Do they have brains? What will therapy do?

I mean if you're reasonably good looking and had a decent enough upbringing, and maybe like your dog died and you're feeling kinda down then yeah, therapy would probably help. Therapists have no fucking clue what to do with incels because therapists are as fuck. Hell, even if they did know what to do with us, it still wouldn't help because referring patients to plastic surgery would definitely violate the code of conduct or whatever.

I think I reference this article way too often, but again it's relevant:

And he was getting a little philosophical about it, and he asked – I’m paraphrasing here – why haven’t things worked out for me? I’m hard-working, I’ve never missed a day of work until now, I’ve always given a hundred and ten percent. And meanwhile, I see all these rich white guys (“no offense, doctor,” he added, clearly overestimating the salary of a medical resident) who kind of coast through school, coast into college, end up with 9 – 4 desk jobs working for a friend of their father’s with excellent salaries and benefits, and if they need to miss a couple of days of work, whether it’s for a hospitalization or just to go on a cruise, nobody questions it one way or the other. I’m a harder worker than they are, he said – and I believed him – so how is that fair?

And of course, like most of the people I deal with at my job, there’s no good answer except maybe restructuring society from the ground up, so I gave him some platitudes about how it’s not his fault, told him about all the social services available to him, and gave him a pill to treat a biochemical condition almost completely orthogonal to his real problem.

This is coming from a psychiatrist. Again, even the ones who know about our issues can't really do anything about it. It's like if gangrene spread to your chest, no doctor in the world can save you. The best they can do is give you pain meds, and that's where we're at with contemporary therapy.

 

[I want to believe]

Personality is a meme.
Besides, it's obvious an incel will be shy and introverted in most cases while Chad will be confident and extroverted (in most cases).

 

[Deleted member 42077]

I mean if you're reasonably good looking and had a decent enough upbringing, and maybe like your dog died and you're feeling kinda down then yeah, therapy would probably help. Therapists have no fucking clue what to do with incels because therapists are as fuck. Hell, even if they did know what to do with us, it still wouldn't help because referring patients to plastic surgery would definitely violate the code of conduct or whatever.

I think I reference this article way too often, but again it's relevant:

This is coming from a psychiatrist. Again, even the ones who know about our issues can't really do anything about it. It's like if gangrene spread to your chest, no doctor in the world can save you. The best they can do is give you pain meds, and that's where we're at with contemporary therapy.

Going to therapy as an incel is like getting half your face blown off with a shotgun and going to pick up some band aids.

 

[BaffleTrot]

i agree with you this is how fucked up women are when it comes to judging males

Yeah it's something that I always try to bear in mind. I believe that most foids actually do sincerely believe they just men off of their personality, or character, or whatever. I do, however, know that everybody makes assumptions about other people's personalities at first glance, and having high status ornaments (square jaw, hunter eyes, etc.) definitely has an effect on how people make assumptions about your personality.

The way I think about it is that it's a Bayesian Inference. The problem is, you never move past your priors until you make a move, so incels never get the change to prove that we aren't actually all awful people, and normies do. Thus, this meme of "incels have bad personalities" is sort of dumb because foids never really find out about my personality. They just infer it from my appearance.

 

[idk125]

Yeah it's something that I always try to bear in mind. I believe that most foids actually do sincerely believe they just men off of their personality, or character, or whatever. I do, however, know that everybody makes assumptions about other people's personalities at first glance, and having high status ornaments (square jaw, hunter eyes, etc.) definitely has an effect on how people make assumptions about your personality.

The way I think about it is that it's a Bayesian Inference. The problem is, you never move past your priors until you make a move, so incels never get the change to prove that we aren't actually all awful people, and normies do. Thus, this meme of "incels have bad personalities" is sort of dumb because foids never really find out about my personality. They just infer it from my appearance.

i agree with u they think we are about to shoot everyone when they look at our faces

 

[BaffleTrot]

Personality is a meme.
Besides, it's obvious an incel will be shy and introverted in most cases while Chad will be confident and extroverted (in most cases).

Absolutely. Positive and negative feedback loops are the stories of our lives. People treat me like shit, so I quit talking to people, and then my social skills start to rot, and people treat me even shittier because now even my social skills suck. I made a point to get myself to a point where I am comfortable and confident talking to people, and I fight like hell to make sure that I can keep some people in my life because I don't want to go back into the dark place again.

Chad never has to worry about that, hell, mid-tier normies never have to worry about that. Chad can fail a test and the teacher encourages him, offers extra credit (that's very easy) and tries to get him to try harder next time. An incel fails a test and it's suddenly some big moral issue, what a shitty lazy asshole that needs to study harder. Chad benefits from positive feedback loops throughout his entire life while we have to expend everything in our power just to fight the negative feedback loops in a desperate bid for life. Or, we just don't fight, and let the rip tide pull us wherever it wants to go.

I fucking hate listening to motivational speakers. They are so distinctly unhelpful to an incel.

 

[subhuman]

Based I agree.

 

[BaffleTrot]

Yeah it's something that I always try to bear in mind. I believe that most foids actually do sincerely believe they just men off of their personality, or character, or whatever. I do, however, know that everybody makes assumptions about other people's personalities at first glance, and having high status ornaments (square jaw, hunter eyes, etc.) definitely has an effect on how people make assumptions about your personality.

The way I think about it is that it's a Bayesian Inference. The problem is, you never move past your priors until you make a move, so incels never get the change to prove that we aren't actually all awful people, and normies do. Thus, this meme of "incels have bad personalities" is sort of dumb because foids never really find out about my personality. They just infer it from my appearance.

Thinking more about this bayesian inference thing, this also explains the concept of trust. I never really thought about that before.

So, brocels, think about it this way. The strength of any relationship can always be measured in trust, but trust is nothing aside from your assuredness that people will continue to act in a way that you expect. Like, I can trust someone to be a jackass, in the sense that even though I don't like what they're doing, I at least do know that they're going to do it.

So in this sense, all relationships boil down to just how attuned is your bayesian-inferencing-brain to someone else's behavior. That's all it is. If you could just get a chance, and you actually have a personality worth sharing, you too could build a relationship. A friendly relationship, because sex drive is totally different and most of us (fakecels I see you) are just as unfuckable as it gets.

 

[I want to believe]

Absolutely. Positive and negative feedback loops are the stories of our lives. People treat me like shit, so I quit talking to people, and then my social skills start to rot, and people treat me even shittier because now even my social skills suck. I made a point to get myself to a point where I am comfortable and confident talking to people, and I fight like hell to make sure that I can keep some people in my life because I don't want to go back into the dark place again.

Chad never has to worry about that, hell, mid-tier normies never have to worry about that. Chad can fail a test and the teacher encourages him, offers extra credit (that's very easy) and tries to get him to try harder next time. An incel fails a test and it's suddenly some big moral issue, what a shitty lazy asshole that needs to study harder. Chad benefits from positive feedback loops throughout his entire life while we have to expend everything in our power just to fight the negative feedback loops in a desperate bid for life. Or, we just don't fight, and let the rip tide pull us wherever it wants to go.

I fucking hate listening to motivational speakers. They are so distinctly unhelpful to an incel.

Well said.

 

[fheon]

I cant believe that Any man believes in therapy

 

[LeFrenchCel]

Personnality = looks

 

[BaffleTrot]

I cant believe that Any man believes in therapy

If you think about it, the point of therapy is to return people to a particular behavioral configuration. Therapists are trained to get people to act "normal", by the definition of whatever normal is. If "normal" falls somewhere in your natural range of behaviors, then maybe it can "help" you become more normal.

If you can't be normal, the best they can do is just give you medications and send you on your way. We're just in a weird place where most of us don't have "abnormal psychology" in the sense of, like, schizophrenia, but we have abnormal psychology in that our life histories have forced us to deal with the harsh truths that normies ignore for the purposes of maintaining their own bliss.

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

I am a...clinical narcissist...clearly alone for that duration:

 

[BaffleTrot]

Personnality = looks

This is really the truth right there. Making a distinction between the two is pointless.

Normies love pretending like they're functionally different because, supposedly, "personality can change" and you can just go be someone else. That's scientifically illiterate - only some personality traits are fluid, and those are going to change around often whether you try or not. THere's no reason to tell someone to "fix their personality", it's essentially the same as "fix your height" or 'fix your skin color".

Acting like personality is changeable is inherently a lookist belief. People who tell you to change your personality are fucking bigots, period.

 

[Deleted member 40252]

Personality is three things: height, face and overall genetics. Unless therapy makes me reroll my stats it won't do anything

 

[BaffleTrot]

I am a...clinical narcissist...clearly alone for that duration:

View attachment 619016

Do you think that narcissism is something that you can "fix" with pills and mind-strategies? Or is it going to always exist within you, something that you have to either eternally correct, or allow to expand and control?

 

[BaffleTrot]

Personality is three things: height, face and overall genetics. Unless therapy makes me reroll my stats it won't do anything

Don't forget the other life circumstances that you have no control over. Studies show that even four month old babies show signs of introversion/extraversion, just as an example, but there is some flexibility in where your "set point" lands at. That set point will determine where exactly on the personality spectrum you'll fall on. Regardless, by the time you're old enough to even understand what any of these personality traits even are in an abstract sense, you're definitely set on your path.

Basically 90% of your life is determined by the time you start puberty, the other 10% is just sheer random chance that you also don't have control over. If the 80/20 rule is true for dating, then even some foids will want to get with subhumans for some reasons. Not nearly enough for us to ever ascend, if you could even call it that at that point. Subhumanity is stamped on your soul before you were even aware of it.

 

[Deleted member 40252]

Subhumanity is stamped on your soul before you were even aware of it.

ovER before it even began

 

[tacotown2142]

I'm not even introverted. I wish I could go out and spend time with a large group of friends but I just don't get that opportunity. I don't have even a single friend. Not even online friends. I don't prefer being alone, i hate it but I don't really get a choice.

 

[BaffleTrot]

I'm not even introverted. I wish I could go out and spend time with a large group of friends but I just don't get that opportunity. I don't have even a single friend. Not even online friends. I don't prefer being alone, i hate it but I don't really get a choice.

Bro that is straight up suifuel. I'm very introverted and sometimes it's a relief to me that I'm alone. When it comes to the idea of having a girlfriend I can sometimes feel like I would just be stressed out all the time from not having enough space. At the same time, though, I do have unfulfilled romantic desires that I rot with anyways.

If I were extraverted and really wanted to spend a lot more time with people, I would be freaking rotting a hundred times faster. I feel for you, bro.

 

[dOOmerbOI]

I'm not even introverted. I wish I could go out and spend time with a large group of friends but I just don't get that opportunity. I don't have even a single friend. Not even online friends. I don't prefer being alone, i hate it but I don't really get a choice.

I have some "friends" I can speak sometimes with, but they don´t care about me. All of them have gfs now.

 

[Sexless incel]

you right u cant work on personality because its all about looks at the end of the day