I don’t want to do anything, no improvement seems like an improvement simply because life itself seems fucking pointless. When you do something you want to say “hey! Look what I’ve done man this is awesome!” and show your friends. But if you have none, nothing is extraordinary or anything because it’s just you. So you don’t go out, you don’t plan for the future because WHATS the point of anything at all if it’s just going to be you, you just sit alone and can even cry if it gets too bad and then you just get bored and sleep because nothing, nothing at all seems to have any purpose since the feeling won’t go away. I have felt this for all too long, when people do come into my life it makes me so so so happy and then when they leave I am absolutely crushed because the feeling of loneliness is so crushing it’s almost my biggest enemy in the back of my head and I fear it coming when I am trying to talk to a new person. I can’t even say it’s over, or that it never began, it’s worse than that nothing ever happened, it’s more like something did happen and it’s a living hell.