Why was i chosen to be such an unlovable freak? I dont want to be an incel anymore I just want love. I dont want girls to laugh and make fun of the way I look. I want to hold someone and truly know that they love me like I love them. I don't wanna be a sub 5 truecel fuckup who cant do anything with his life anymore. Why does it have to be me? Why do i have to endure this pain? Why aren't I just normal? When will it all end? Do i just do it myself? Is it better to end it now than keep on going and living in this despair everyday of my life? Im so on the edge at the moment suicide is on my mind every waking moment. I cant bring myself to get out of bed most days. This is the only place where I feel safe to say such a thing cause its anonymous. I walk around like a different human being everyday and no one notices. I just want the pain to end. I just want it to end. I don't wanna be like this. I wanna be loved. I dont think i ever will. I see happy couples every place I go and I envy them and feel despair I myself. Why do I look so bad that even my own family bullies me for my appearance? I wish I just looked normal with some hope of love but that'll never happen. Im too fucking ugly for normal people shit. Is the solution just killing myself I dont know anymore.
