Serious Why Is The Importance of Social Skills Ignored Here?

[Deleted member 19116]

I'm autistic and introverted, how do I stop it? How do I become more like a normie?

(Edit) I'm also not very ugly. Perhaps slightly below average. But very short so that rules out female attraction.

I just want to have friends.

 

[TheSecondComing]

Because social skills are largely correlated with how attractive you are. If you're fed validation your whole life, of course you're going to be confident and competent, and vice versa.

 

[universallyabhorred]

You're discounting the halo effect, man. What use does a woman have for a man's personality?

Don't confuse social skills with personality, dude. They are entirely different, if you look at MBTI personality types, you will notice it has to do with deeper characteristics regarding how a person thinks or the amount they enjoy social interaction. The only correlation between personality and social skills is that generally people consider those with good social skills as having better personalities.

Also I never claimed social skills was important in getting a woman, unless you pass the minimum looks threshold. And even then for a chadlite+ tier guy it's not as necessary.

That was really painful to read. I strongly disagree. If you're ugly, no social skills will save you from inceldom. Maybe they can be useful for normies and Chads but... there should be none here.

It seems you didn't read my post after all, since you misrepresent my point. I never claimed social skills save ugly guys from inceldom, but it will definitely help them out socially and professionally.

 

[KingOfRome]

a person's temperament is the most important element of attraction after looks

Nope. Race, education, occupation, and income are all more important than personality according to the research.

Of course a chad can get away with having poor social skills but even he requires a minimum level of communication

What autists consistently fail to parse is basic social interaction isn't nearly as complicated as they think it is. It's based on memes like "hi how are you", "how was your day/weekend", "did you see/hear x last y", et cetera, and executing them well is largely a matter of practice saying them in the right ways at the right times, something you're just never going to get a lot of as an ugly social outcast, autistic or not. Easy to learn, hard to master, as the saying goes. Autistics with above-average IQ's learn to pass for NT's through sheer trial and error with this basic understanding in mind.

 

[universallyabhorred]

I'm autistic and introverted, how do I stop it? How do I become more like a normie?

I'm autistic as well, officially diagnosed. You need to accept that improving social skills will be extremely painful and takes a huge amount of time and effort, and even then depending on our level of autism, it might not be possible to reach NT levels of proficiency.

 

[Deleted member 19116]

I'm autistic as well, officially diagnosed. You need to accept that improving social skills will be extremely painful and takes a huge amount of time and effort, and even then depending on our level of autism, it might not be possible to reach NT levels of proficiency.

I'll accept it after I fail. I'm 27, there are many years ahead for me to practice, if I don't rope first. Do you know any books or methods that work for autists?

 

[zombie]

Motherfucker I've been training my social skills for 10 fucking years.

I would completely MOG your social skills. In social interactions I am the one talking, making people laugh and being the center of attention... and then my Chad friend who barely speaks return to his gf's house to fuck her while I lurk incel forums before bed.

 

[Izayacel]

95% looks 5% social skill.

 

[zombie]

This is some TheRedPill tier cope thread.

 

[universallyabhorred]

What autists consistently fail to parse is basic social interaction isn't nearly as complicated as they think it is. It's based on memes like "hi how are you", "how was your day/weekend", "did you see/hear x last y", et cetera, and executing them well is largely a matter of practice saying them in the right ways at the right times, something you're just never going to get a lot of as an ugly social outcast, autistic or not. Easy to learn, hard to master, as the saying goes. Autistics with above-average IQ's learn to pass for NT's through sheer trial and error with this basic understanding in mind.

Those are just the verbal aspects of small talk. There's much more to it especially when you include non-verbal communication and your ability to read people. Using generic statements and scripting isn't particularly effective, it might be acceptable for distant acquaintances or professional relationships, but it won't get you friends.

You are right about the timing, that's extremely important and something autistics fail at if they struggle to work out the rhythm like I do. Figuring out the right ways and times is also heavily dependent upon context, autistics who struggle with understanding how others are feeling in the moment or how certain things make others feel, might not be able to learn from trial and error or observation like NT's do.


Vast majority of autistics have average or below average IQ's, I think it's possible to learn with an average IQ, but it requires a huge amount of thought and analysis, and it's not possible for autistics if they are extremely socially impaired, even if they have a high IQ .

 

[TheReaper]

a lot of people are perfectly functional and still lonely.
this is why i don't focus on social skills, because i already have them (like a lot of other people here) but i'm still alone because that's just a tiny piece of the puzzle

 

[Words2_live_bye]

I have social anxiety so even if i became Chad, it would take awhile for me to adjust to all the attention i'd be getting, and knowing how to act properly in social situations and stuff

 

[universallyabhorred]

Motherfucker I've been training my social skills for 10 fucking years.

I would completely MOG your social skills. In social interactions I am the one talking, making people laugh and being the center of attention... and then my Chad friend who barely speaks return to his gf's house to fuck her while I lurk incel forums before bed.

That means you are an ugly incel and have no chance with women. At the very least you have friends and get a lot of attention, which is better than being lonely and isolated.

 

[zombie]

That means you are an ugly incel and have no chance with women. At the very least you have friends and get a lot of attention, which is better than being lonely and isolated.

lol the moment I stop actively trying to socialize I lose everything because everyone stops caring about me, meanwhile my better looking friends are having sex without any effort. Hell sometimes I am the one talking while one of my friends just wait on the side until I am done.

 

[SUH]

I completely agree. At least if I had social skills I'd be able to get a job and betabuxx. I could even dictatormaxx.

Also in my experience in high school it was the kids with extreme manipulativeness who were the bullies because they would put the whole class against me. Looks mattered in HS in the sense of being tall and buff, not necessarily having a good face. I know a few guys who were truceld in school but became gigachads in college because their looks trumped their autism.

Btw whoever says this is cope has cat anus level IQ. Social skills are largely genetic so its not like you can learn them to a necessary level by trying hard enough.

 

[KingOfRome]

Those are just the verbal aspects of small talk. There's much more to it especially when you include non-verbal communication and your ability to read people. Using generic statements and scripting isn't particularly effective, it might be acceptable for distant acquaintances or professional relationships, but it won't get you friends.

That's true, there are those nonverbal cues that autists really struggle with, but even those can be studied, and that study can be made at least somewhat intuitive with practice, trial and error. I'm not saying it's a complete substitute for being NT, but with enough effort, you can pass for NT at least well enough to develop basic charisma and make friends.

One thing really keeping many autists from making friends is looks. Autists are generally ugly. To make friends, you need to be enjoyable to be around, and you can't do that when your face is an eyesore. You could probably get away with being just sort of ugly if you just want to make friends with other ugly socially awkward guys, but if you're ridiculously jaw-droppingly ugly, it's over.

 

[FUCKITALLREEE]

And the uglier you are, the more social skills you need to compensate. It's over for asocialcels

True, the taller and more good looking you are, the least effort you need to put in, in order to have good social skills, because people are gonna be awestruck by the halo effect, and will tend to be in a better mood that is gonna facilitate socializing/joking/fucking ect. That's why people laugh at everything a chad say or do.

 

[Emba]

Social skills do not exist. It's your personal traits like attractiveness, wealth, connections etc. that determine whether you're part of the in group or not.

 

[littlemanhikicel]

Cope
It's all about looks

 

[Deleted member 677]

YOU ARE EITHER ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH TO KEEP A WOMAN "EXCITED" JUST BY BEING AROUND HER, OR YOU HAVE TO BECOME HER FUCKING PET JESTER TO MOTIVATE, TRICK AND/OR GUILT HER INTO TRYING TO BE ATTRACTED TO YOU

 

[oldcel75]

Social skills can make a woman chose 5 over 6, but not 3 over 7.

 

[Chileancel]

Social skills can make a woman chose 5 over 6, but not 3 over 7.

 

[universallyabhorred]

Btw whoever says this is cope has cat anus level IQ. Social skills are largely genetic so its not like you can learn them to a necessary level by trying hard enough.

Social intelligence is genetic, social skills are learned. Albeit intelligence makes it much easier, someone with a low one could still learn through exposure and hard work. There's of course a genetic limit to the maximum level of social proficiency they can achieve. But the vast majority of people, even many mildly autistic people, can learn enough to make friends or interact professionally. However they will always have difficulty with new types of social situations and are unlikely to be ever considered charming or charismatic.

 

[Chileancel]

Sure, spend years doing that hard work while no woman fucks you in her prime. Maybe you can jester your way out to a middle-age roastie and feel that saggy skin once a month for 5 minutes before you are over.

 

[Anonymous MG]

I'm 100% sure someone has already said this but social skills directly correlate to how attractive you are,

Being attractive makes you approachable and makes it significantly easier to be social, this is why you almost always see Chad with an enormous circle of connections. Chads will typically get more real life social interaction in a day than any truecel on her has in a year, building the skill passively and becoming very good at interacting with people.

Couple this with the fact that their attractiveness automatically makes everything they say valued more, if an incel talked like a Chad and had the same personality of one he would still be an incel.

 

[Deleted member 19546]

Cope, Chad can fuck someone without even speaking to them.

 

[Ropemaxx]

Social skill is for normies not incels.

This, EXCEPT a normie can become an incel with bad social skills.

 

[BlkPillPres]

It doesn't really count for much, you're just their jester if they aren't attracted to you, I'm one of those guys who is always making women laugh, becoming funny is almost a survival skill for unattractive men, it never helped me get laid because I can't get past the "threshold", I'd have to make a bitch laugh her panties off and I'm not that good JFL

https://incels.is/threads/the-avera...-game-really-is-nothing-worth-envying.133125/

 

[Deleted member 18214]

Your social skills are your face.

 

[blitzmid123]

some of us dont even need to socialmax, its just the sheer ugliness holding us back

 

[ionlycopenow]

They matter, but the problem is you will only get a chance to develop them if you have the looks for it.

 

[blitzmid123]

Didn't read a single word huh? Part of being blackpilled is observing and documenting reality, exaggerated claims like this make you seem just as ignorant as the soy-tears cucks.

Honestly, soycucks cry blackpill but dont know shit about it and keeps talking out of their ass.

 

[Deleted member 16390]

huh, listening to an ugly/sub 5 incel is like listening to a poor, man, no one want to.
what can a poor man tell you except how to be poor like him?

what can an incel tell you, except how miserable his life is every second of the day?
beside foids take one look at incels and run the other way,

 

[Midwestcel]

Yes looks are most important to dating and sexual success. It's also true social skills plays a big role with women and a bigger role in terms of general life quality. Of course a chad can get away with having poor social skills but even he requires a minimum level of communication, a chad or chadlite that is mute and can't sign or is incapable of speaking normally such as through making small talk or feigning interest will definitely struggle with women. He'd still have women who are attracted to him, but he won't be slaying like other chads or chadlites, he might end up with little to no sexual experience. He will also struggle to make friends, find employment or live independently.

At normie level, social skills are an absolute necessity, without it the person will definitely be incel and will likely never lose his virginity. He will definitely not be able to get a social circle, job or live independently since day to day life requires effective social and communication skills. On the other hand there even exist a few cases of seemingly hopeless unattractive guys ascending or getting lucky with women because they had appealing enough social skills to seem charming, likable or interesting to women on the surface.

Social skills are the difference between lonely isolated jobless virgin and extroverted sexually active with a girlfriend and high paying marketing job at sub7 looks. Even at chadlite+ looks social skills strongly influence how much intercourse the person receives throughout his life and how popular, or successful he is.

I actually agree 100 percent. And if you find an ugly guy who gets lucky, 10 times out of 10, he's very extraverted and NT.

 

[BodyFat10orRope]

I've never heard of an incel ascending because he bettered his social skills. It's always because he looksmaxxed.

Bettering your social skills isn't that easy and having good social skills may largely be genetics. It also implies that your current social situation is fucked and you have nothing to build off of (an existing social circle).

 

[Transcended Trucel]

Those are just the verbal aspects of small talk. There's much more to it especially when you include non-verbal communication and your ability to read people. Using generic statements and scripting isn't particularly effective, it might be acceptable for distant acquaintances or professional relationships, but it won't get you friends.

You are right about the timing, that's extremely important and something autistics fail at if they struggle to work out the rhythm like I do. Figuring out the right ways and times is also heavily dependent upon context, autistics who struggle with understanding how others are feeling in the moment or how certain things make others feel, might not be able to learn from trial and error or observation like NT's do.


Vast majority of autistics have average or below average IQ's, I think it's possible to learn with an average IQ, but it requires a huge amount of thought and analysis, and it's not possible for autistics if they are extremely socially impaired, even if they have a high IQ .

legit. also autistic folk have bad Motor skills and timing on a subconscious level. even with great practice I often end up spouting offensive shit despite trying to restrain my mouth. as a result nowadays I am silent 90% of time or as much can be.

 

[ovrload]

Social skills and having personality helps if you’re good looking or above average.

 

[Transcended Trucel]

lol the moment I stop actively trying to socialize I lose everything because everyone stops caring about me, meanwhile my better looking friends are having sex without any effort. Hell sometimes I am the one talking while one of my friends just wait on the side until I am done.

ur case is the exception. most incels here are 4/10 to 5/10 not sub 3/10 LMS wise. so they would ascend had they had ur social skikss

Sure, spend years doing that hard work while no woman fucks you in her prime. Maybe you can jester your way out to a middle-age roastie and feel that saggy skin once a month for 5 minutes before you are over.

everything isnt about fucking whores. social skills affect every social interaction. can be the difference between making 50k or 100k cause you knew a nigga

 

[turbocuckcel_7000]

logistics are the most underrated
if your parents hang out with family friends that have daughters, you have a big advantage that beats a lot of others
if later your friends hang out with single girls, again you have a big advantage
without things like that you are railroaded into becoming a 25+ year old virgin, and those are considered untouchable in the 21st century

 

[zombie]

ur case is the exception. most incels here are 4/10 to 5/10 not sub 3/10 LMS wise. so they would ascend had they had ur social skikss

everything isnt about fucking whores. social skills affect every social interaction. can be the difference between making 50k or 100k cause you knew a nigga

I think I am a 5/10 in looks though, considering I attract really ugly and obese women. I am pretty fucked in the MS department though.

 

[Transcended Trucel]

logistics are the most underrated
if your parents hang out with family friends that have daughters, you have a big advantage that beats a lot of others
if later your friends hang out with single girls, again you have a big advantage
without things like that you are railroaded into becoming a 25+ year old virgin, and those are considered untouchable in the 21st century

this as well. my parents are subhuman trash. never hanged out with anyone ever. so I went entire 27 years of life without ever seeing anyone with kids be invited to my parents house. just lol at this scam of a life

 

[turbocuckcel_7000]

this as well. my parents are subhuman trash. never hanged out with anyone ever. so I went entire 27 years of life without ever seeing anyone with kids be invited to my parents house. just lol at this scam of a life

just lol ngl

 

[Indari]

I've got fine social skills. I just don't relate to any normalfag around me therefore can't interact well.

 

[GeneticFilth]

Autism is an extreme manifestation of poor social skills, due to low social intuition. Even among NT's social skills can vary widely from borderline dark triad extrovert to introverted socially awkward and anxious. To claim an normie tier NT guy wouldn't significantly improve his chances with women though bringing up his social skills from below average to above average is ridiculous. Even an ugly person will be able to improve his social or professional life, by increasing social skills, if it's below average. Most of the time when an unattractive person is unable to make or maintain friendships it has more to do with his interpersonal skills than looks, unless the person is noticeably disfigured.

Looks permeate into everything in life. Anything an ugly male says is creepy and weird and anything an attractive male says or does is good. Conversation goes both ways and if you are ugly people don't want to continue the conversation with you, so there is nothing you can do.

Halo effect and failo effect
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886912005028

Relative to their rated funniness in the audio-only condition, with no appearance cues, attractive individuals were rated as funnier in video clips than less attractive individuals

 

[Deleted member 22571]

Social skills refers to concepts such as verbal skills, how well you can read and understand emotions of people, how well you can mimic others or blend in different contexts, how well you can say the right words to people in various situations, etc. It's definitely a real thing, there are examples of ugly guys who are popular, well liked and even famous. Though good looking guys are favored and require less social skills to gain status and connections.

How do you suggest we improve our social skills when we're so ugly that nobody wants to talk to us?

 

[BodyFat10orRope]

I've got fine social skills. I just don't relate to any normalfag around me therefore can't interact well.

Same. I have noticed that I actually have decent social skills but I can normally only relate to other incel / non normie (discussion topics) guys or some normie guys that I have several things forced in common with (work, life experiences).

Those types of guys never have women in their social circles and never try to go out to meet new people. The quality of your social circle matters.

 

[universallyabhorred]

How do you suggest we improve our social skills when we're so ugly that nobody wants to talk to us?

How ugly are you? Are you disfigured or circus freak ugly? Not to sound bluepilled, but otherwise it's probably not your looka.

 

[GetFucked]

Its just a fact that having an appealing face you can say and do the most retarded shit and still be well liked by almost everyone.

 

[kvn]

Itt almost all posters think there are only chads and incels and forget that vast vast majority of men are avrrage. And for these average looking dudes social skills do matter

No shit chad doesnt have to lift a finger to get laid but majority of guys arent chad and still get laid. How? Social skills

 

[Bakura806]

Your face, height, and race will do most of the talking social skills are really only necessary for a relationship or building social circles Chad can still get laid even if he is a mute, but he may not form a relationship.