I think I feel what you feel, brah.
I had fantasies like this as well for a really long time. Since I was a teenager and got in a way rejected by older women or maybe I craved female love or maybe a preschool teacher pulled me tough by arm to medical office and I was afraid and it messed up my psyche...I don't know.
Combined with seeing some femdom type roles in a movie and combined with playing vidya with "strong female characters" my idealised love became that where I get beat up and physically dominated by a stronger cute girl/woman
WITH NO SEX.
I never wanted it to be sexual in any way. I did not want to have my dick beat up or ball busting or anything like that. I thought more in a way where she would whip my exposed chest and back with a whip or something like that and not SEXUALLY like you see in femdom, but out of genuine
HATE for me. I wanted to be
HURT by her, beat up, bullied,
HATED, maybe even killed, shot dead, cut up...and I never imagined her to be naked or anything, no. She was always dressed up, unemotional, cold, almost robotic and autistic in my fantasies and proceeded to torture me no matter how much I cried and screamed. Either that or hateful. I imagined that maybe I had done something to her family or something that would incite absolute hatred and redemption. Sometimes I imagined her as an anime girl from one of the video game series I was playing. But I guess that was just an outlet, because before that I imagined a lady I think I saw in movie somewhere.
This sadistic fantasy was so comforting it allowed me to fall asleep at nights imagining a stronger girl than me was sleeping behind my back with her hands around me and with a knife at my throat ready to kill me at any moment. How fucked up is that? It just seems weird to me now.
Then...only when I realised that such women don't actually exist and that all of them are submissive and that I could easily overpower any of them...then the fantasy went away, because I realised it is simply not realistic.
I think this is caused in large amount due to some childhood experience or trauma that was somewhat related to sexuality maybe even in a slight way. I hear that people who where threatened to be "eaten" as kids developed fantasy of being eaten as it was a fearful experience during developing stage and fear is often linked to sex.
Actually, thinking about it now I know what caused it probably. It was 3 girls and 1 Chad grouping up on me in neighbourhood, punching and spitting on me. They are lucky I don't remember their faces anymore.
He is right, I know, because I am the same and I agree with him. During my femdom stage I also never had any cucking urges or anything like that. I did not feel submissive among men, on the other hand, I tried to compensate by being extra manly and shit and viewed other men as competitors that need to be destroyed and fucking Chads that should die from poison. But the fantasy of being physically beaten up and tortured by a cute femoid remained. But I knew she was not a real person, because such femoids can't exist. And if they do they will never physically beat you up as they are weaker, they will do it covertly, like trying to talk you into suicide, which does not thing for me.
HIGH AS FUCK IQ
To add to it: my femdom fetish hasn't fully gone away. I still get off to femdom type of porn. But...knowing I physically am not that BETA (because I have physical strength) to be in that role I get off just seeing femdoms be mean to other loser guys. It's always some chubby lame looking dudes, it's never a fit guy. So once you get fit you are automatically feeling more dominant and therefore it becomes a cognitive dissonance to imagine yourself in a submissive role, but it is still realistic to imagine someone else in a submissive role punished by a femdom.
I hope eventually all my femdom fetishes go away. I wish I could have Chad fetish aka: fuck a woman bareback in doggy style, but sadly I don't
Chads get so much sex they never have to develop any fucked up fetishes apart from "I love when she wears sexy lingerie" duh
You are in formative years when brain neural pathways of sexuality are forming. You get bullied, beat up and spit on by a group of girls who call you names. You associate submission, being degraded, bullied, shamed with sexuality because centers of sex and anxiety/fear are very close and actually body can confuse extreme feelings of fear for feelings of sexuality. That is why women rate men as being hotter after going on a rollercoaster ride. Fear is closely linked to sex. Combine that with a developing childs brain and you can mess him up for good.
Dominatrixes do what they do for money. No woman actually wants to dominate a man. They all want to be dominated by Chad, punished and degraded. Even the biggest doms and feminists wants Chad to destroy them.
It is not THAT hard-wired. General sexual orientation - yes. So that is why femcels prefer FEMALES to bully them not MALES. Because they are heterosexual. But by wonders of neuroplasticity in theory it is possible to eventually transfer from submissive to dominant fetishes. It would require lots of practice for new neural pathways to be formed and thinking of dominant thoughts on purpose until the pathways become stronger and forget the submissive thoughts. It technically can be done, but extremely hard. Sexual orientation is hard-wired, but fetishes are not. Femdom is a fetish caused by trauma.