Venting Why does it keep getting worse?

[Mortis]

It seems like nothing will ever change for the better in my life in fact it somehow just keeps getting worse... time and time again I find myself in situations that are extremely detrimental for me financially/socially/academically/... either by my own wrong doing or that of others.

It seems like my life objectively keeps getting worse year after year. Everytime I tell myself that "This is definitely rock-bottom" I get proven wrong and I get absolutely blindsided by an event that I didn't even know was possible. It's like there is no stagnation and there are no breaks. It's just a constant free fall into the abyss and it's weird because I just LDAR and bad things still happen to me.

The most gut wrenching reality for me is that I got one shot in life. One shot, one chance to make something, anything out of the "gift" of life and the cards that I've been dealt with are so shit that I never stood a chance. Every event that HAD to happen so my birth could take place it was all for nothing? How is that even possible. How can life be so incredibly cruel? And why does it seem like no one gives a fuck?

 

[Lonelyus]

It seems like nothing will ever change for the better in my life in fact it somehow just keeps getting worse... time and time again I find myself in situations that are extremely detrimental for me financially/socially/academically/... either by my own wrong doing or that of others.

It seems like my life objectively keeps getting worse year after year. Everytime I tell myself that "This is definitely rock-bottom" I get proven wrong and I get absolutely blindsided by an event that I didn't even know was possible. It's like there is no stagnation and there are no breaks. It's just a constant free fall into the abyss and it's weird because I just LDAR and bad things still happen to me.

The most gut wrenching reality for me is that I got one shot in life. One shot, one chance to make something, anything out of the "gift" of life and the cards that I've been dealt with are so shit that I never stood a chance. Every event that HAD to happen so my birth could take place it was all for nothing? How is that even possible. How can life be so incredibly cruel? And why does it seem like no one gives a fuck?

Life is not a gift

 

[accelERationist]

I started at rock bottom; was sexually abused as a child, had alcoholic parents with bipolar, was beaten by parents and classmates, etc. Despite of going through a period of homelessness and being diagnosed as schizophrenic, I still think I am doing better than what was my starting position: Fear of violence or abuse every day is no longer present in my life, and I am so chemically lobotomized by antipsychotics I don't even want sex. My life is just dull now, not a nightmare it used to be. I still have a psychotic episode every six months tho.

Oh well. Hang in there fellow cel.