Player
♠ Wizard ♥ NEET ♦ Belarus ♣
-
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2019
- Posts
- 2,708
- Online
- 22d 22h 34m
I am not just subhuman, but also too far gone. Years of overprotective parenting, misfortunes, helping stray cats, social deprivation, occupational burnout and learned helplessness did not go well.
I don’t hate females, don’t worship mass murders, don’t want to hurt people. I disdain cucks but it is like a default. However, I became so dark, I need to pretend to be normal when I work, playtest games or just talk with people. I need to fake emotions to not scare them with my poker face and glass stare. I need to filter my words to not reveal some information about myself. You know, confess to somebody that you are a virgin or achieved nothing in life is a death sentence. But of course in the long run normalfags always feel that something is off. I am not that good actor after all.
Smiles of people like razors to me. Thanks, God, it is not common to just smile without any reason in my country. I bet I’ll go insane in such places as the USA. Happiness of others irritates me and small talks immediately lead to headache. Sometimes after I wake up I lie in bed paralyzed by fear of the coming day. My sexual fantasies become weirder and weirder.
Probably writing is my hobby because this way I can feel echoes of emotions of imaginary characters in my head. I can make an illusion of meaningful life and achievement.
So, yeah, I have horrible personality. I don’t see how anyone can stand me without halo effect. That is the one and only universal remedy that could help me.
I am bad and can’t form connections with so called normal people. Something snapped inside long ago. I am too tired to care anymore. I live in my own twisted world.
Incels.co is a perfect supportive place for me. There are users who more damaged and uglier than me. They have empathy unlike the others. If not for this forum, I'd rope myself this summer.
I don’t hate females, don’t worship mass murders, don’t want to hurt people. I disdain cucks but it is like a default. However, I became so dark, I need to pretend to be normal when I work, playtest games or just talk with people. I need to fake emotions to not scare them with my poker face and glass stare. I need to filter my words to not reveal some information about myself. You know, confess to somebody that you are a virgin or achieved nothing in life is a death sentence. But of course in the long run normalfags always feel that something is off. I am not that good actor after all.
Smiles of people like razors to me. Thanks, God, it is not common to just smile without any reason in my country. I bet I’ll go insane in such places as the USA. Happiness of others irritates me and small talks immediately lead to headache. Sometimes after I wake up I lie in bed paralyzed by fear of the coming day. My sexual fantasies become weirder and weirder.
Probably writing is my hobby because this way I can feel echoes of emotions of imaginary characters in my head. I can make an illusion of meaningful life and achievement.
So, yeah, I have horrible personality. I don’t see how anyone can stand me without halo effect. That is the one and only universal remedy that could help me.
I am bad and can’t form connections with so called normal people. Something snapped inside long ago. I am too tired to care anymore. I live in my own twisted world.
Incels.co is a perfect supportive place for me. There are users who more damaged and uglier than me. They have empathy unlike the others. If not for this forum, I'd rope myself this summer.
