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[Whitepill] My thoughts on the blackpill assumptions
This is a post I wanted to make for a long time. I like this board because it is relieving to have other people that have the same problem, however, I do think some of the popular assumptions here are not true and only make people even more miserable.
I will probably be called a virtue-signalling normie and cuck now, but fuck it, I still want to share my honest opinion. Please don't dismiss it just after reading the titles, the text explains further why I think so:
- Bad looks are not an absolute death sentence
Of course bad looks lower your chances a lot, but you would have to be literally deformed for looks to be a 100% death sentence.
I think most of us are at least part mentalcel, and poor social skills, a lack of confidence and/or psychological problems are
also a big part of the problem.
I have met people that are outright ugly that had girlfriends, fat guys that had girlfriends and manlets that had girlfriends. Multiple people got matches on tinder using pictures of blackops2cel (which most people here agree has incel looks),so if blackops2cel was nt and had good conversation skills, he should be able to get a date, and the same is true for other people that look like him. (And keep in mind he could still improve by lookmaxing and taking better photos, so he would probably get even more matches on tinder if he put some effort into it.) And to strenghten my point evenmore, most of the people who posted pictures on this board weren't even that ugly, and I haven't seen one single picture that is an absolute death sentence. I think most incels are exaggerating how bad they look, using it as a cope, or even have legit BDD.
P.S. If you are ugly, don't use tinder ffs. What do you expect from an app where looks are made the most important thing already by the design of the app?
You might still get occasional matches (see blackops2cel), but multiple normies have told me tinder is shit and primarily a hookup app where woman have ridiculous standards.
If you are looking for a gf, use a legit dating app and your chances will improve.
- Beeing an incel doesn't automatically condemn you to be miserable
I don't want to claim something retarded like everyone can be perfectly happy without ever having a girlfriend. Most people probably cannot. Beeing an incel often brings you down and can contribute to depression, but if you are so desperate that you want to kill yourself, something else in your life is probably fucked as well and/or you have severe psychological problems.
I am a 25 year old kissless handholdless virgin, and I didn't have a very pleasent life as a teenager, but during the last
years i was still more or less happy. Only during the last months, when I also had other problems and almost dropped out
of university, my inceldom made me more and more unhappy, so I think frustration with inceldom and the desire for relationships is sometimes magnified by other problems.
Ask yourself these questions: Do you have close friends? Do you have a job you don't hate? Do you have something to be proud of? These things are also essential to happiness. If the answer to one of them is no, try solving these problems, and it will probably improve your mental state a lot, which also will make it easier to approach woman (for some people it is even the prerequisit to get a gf). If you have all of these things and still are severely depressed, or if you are incapable to
achieve them, you probably have some kind of mental illness you can't fix on your own. In this case, or if you have baggage you just can't get over by coping, consider seeing a psychologist, it really could help you and might be the only way out. I know it doesn't work for everybody, but on the other hand it has already helped millions, so you can't say it doesn't work for you if you haven't tried it. What do you have to lose?
- It is not a bad thing to have female friends
I know some incels claim they will only use you for emotional support and to cry on your shoulder, but that doesn't even happen that often and even more importantly you can also "use" her for emotional support and cry on her shoulder! You might even talk with her about things that you aren't comfortable talking about with other men (in person). Also you can get hugs and affection. It just feels good and provides a good cope when a woman cares for you, even if it's not in a romantical way. Especially if you have a hatred of woman but still want to escape inceldom, I think having a female friend is a good way to let go of your anger.
- Having your first gf later in life doesn't automatically make you a beta provider, also beta providing isn't something degrading and has been done for millenia.
(Considering arranged marriages, it is even the most common form of relationship in history.)
Most women today have a job, so they do want a man for companionship and sex and not just a man that is financing their livelihood. And if you have a gf that really doesn't want to work and be a homemaker you also get something in return for your money, for example not having to care about doing half of the house chores, having homemade meals everyday and having good childcare (I personally would even prefer it that way). I can see the beta provider argument be a little bit true for single mothers that are looking for a man, but it's not like all woman over 25 or even over 30 have kids, so you can avoid those as girlfriends/wives.
- If you are over 20 and still an incel, it's not over
There is for example a guy in Germany that was an incel with 29 and made a documentary about his situation, and a year later
he found a girlfriend. My father was probably also an incel for a long time. My old flatmate had his first gf at 25. So hope doesn't have to be lost for us!
Of course it sucks that the older ones of us didn't get to enjoy the company of the girls during most of their prime, but
unfortunately the world is just an unfair place, what are you gonna do? It's not fair for the textile worker in Bangladesh who is working 12 hours a day
and is still poor either, the only thing you can do is to make the best of your situation. What annoys me the most is when people as young as 19 claim that it's over. I'm 25 now and I do feel like I'm slowly gettin older and everything is less exciting, but in your early twenties you still have most of your prime years and beeing a young adult ahead of you. So make something of your precious youth and try to be as social as is possible for you, and cut the time on the computer and on other escapist copes for god's sake. Figure out and priorotize your goals and make concrete steps every day to work towards them. I wish I had come to this conclusion earlier myself, don't repeat my mistakes.
Also, the "it's over" meme generally is just a meme. The only moment it is truly over is when you exhale your last breath as an incel. Even if your chances look small, they are still more than zero if you're not already literally ldaring in the cementary, even if you are 40 years or older. Yes, you missed out on relationships in the time when they are the most intense and there will remain a hole that can never be filled, but if you still have the desire for a relationship it can still increase your happiness. It's not like there is only black and white regarding happiness and lifetime succes, ascending at an older age is bad for sure, but still better than not ascending at all.
Alright, rant over (Mods pls no ban)
I hope this didn't sound too much like normie bullshit, but I wanted to show a different view on life some incels have besides the hardcore blackpill, maybe this even helps someone to find new hope and motivation.
I also want to repeat, if you constantly feel depressed and just want to ldar your life away, or if you feel suicidal, going to a psychiatrist might help you a lot, even if it doesn't mean instant ascending. If that isn't a (affordable) option in your country, at least look for some free public service, call a phone helpline, or if existing,
talk to a person you trust. For a lot of people I think this could really be a way out of inceldom or at least out of misery.
