G
title i honestly cant remember. i think last time i was truly happy was before i hit puberty
I dunno but I know I'm somewhat happy when gaming, gaming is such a good cope because of the immersion, I literally can escape my reality but as soon as I finish/quit my game, it's back to perpetual loneliness. It's over. Apart from gaming it's probably in primary school when I used to play the playstation 2(gta san andreas) with my cousin, also playing spyro, and ratchet and clank
When I was 14
everytime im on mephodrone tbh
When I was like 5 years old.
I wasn't depressed after 5 but that's the last time I can say that I was "happy"
Depression came at around 14
I wasn't depressed after 5 but that's the last time I can say that I was "happy"
Depression came at around 14
Between age 9-14. Then only once for a short moment Between 14 and 24 (now).
I wasnt happy Between age 0-9 because my family Was poor and i needed to take therapy for allergies and skin diseases. Also i was bullied by my Kindergarten Teacher and then Elementary was "meh". I can barely remember anything from Elementary besides that one time I got my first kiss and that other time my Ex-Best friend nearly murdered me over singing for some girls.
I wasnt happy Between age 0-9 because my family Was poor and i needed to take therapy for allergies and skin diseases. Also i was bullied by my Kindergarten Teacher and then Elementary was "meh". I can barely remember anything from Elementary besides that one time I got my first kiss and that other time my Ex-Best friend nearly murdered me over singing for some girls.
Really? With age 8?
We all know this nigga is larping his balls off.
When I was in the six Jhana for 20 minutes. This experience was verified by my Buddhist monk teacher. It mogged every prescription med high i had after the experience.
I'm only really happy in my dreams sometimes. Usually those dreams end with me finally having the courage to end it
From 0 to 11.
After that it's been hell and getting worse every year.
After that it's been hell and getting worse every year.
G
We all know this nigga is larping his balls off.
chad.is
when i was orbiting a foid in school
When i took MDMA
Being lied to in hopeful delight, until enough negation started to get outside the box of lies!!
13 for me and upward, absolute dogshit
5 years old when the class sung happy birthday to me.
I was thinking about it now for 30 minutes and i cant seem to recall a moment the last months. I dont know.
Often i get comments on why i am not excited or happy about this or that.
One time a friend i used to have ,made me join him going to a comedyshow.
He asked me why i was looking so dead and angry and never smiled or laughed. I dont know.
Its like im a Computer and the GPU is missing. lol
Often i get comments on why i am not excited or happy about this or that.
One time a friend i used to have ,made me join him going to a comedyshow.
He asked me why i was looking so dead and angry and never smiled or laughed. I dont know.
Its like im a Computer and the GPU is missing. lol
G
do you generally have a "Resting bitch face" ? i have it and people say i always look angry and unapproachable? well most of the time i am but i never show it
more like neutral and a little bit tense. I dont really show much emotions at all, thats a redflag for most people.
Not that its bad per se, but people dont really know me and i dont cause any drama, what foids usually dont like(coworkers)
I spent 5 minutes going through my life in my head and I honestly cannot recall when I was really happy. I had moments in my life where I was optimistic, episodes of happiness but dwelling deeper I was always filled with anxiety and fear, from a very young age I could not envision a satisfied life, turns out I was rightful to be fearful as my life turned out more or less as I predicted in my childhood, a mess.
There was a single, short period of time in my life where I could describe myself as 'happy'. It didn't last very long, there was a girl I had a crush on when I was around 6 years old or 7 I don't remember but I was pretty young. We lived in those soviet-era complexes in our slav village, it's not really a village it was more of a city but it was a small city so it was a mix of village/city, but anyway the way I met her is straight out of a movie.
I had a long rope that I would throw down from my concrete balcony, I tied a single plastic soldier to the rope and a plastic bag, so I would pretend to parachute him off the balcony but since the plastic soldiers were very expensive to me I tied the rope so I could get him back up to my balcony after I was done. But one day, somebody grabbed on to the rope and giggled, it was a female voice, I looked down and saw some woman roughly my age holding the rope, I was shy so I instantly hid myself in my balcony, and took the rope back with my soldier on it, I used a lot of strength to get it back I wasn't gonna let no hoe steal my plastic soldier, I only had like 10 of them JFL.
But a few moments later, I untied my soldier and decided it was a good idea to send a message down. I got some paper, wrote a message on a pencil, I don't even remember what I wrote now, but I tied the message to the rope and send it down to the woman. She wrote something back and I got the message. I later send another message inviting her to meet with me in my house. Which she did, she came up and we talked a little and played a bit.
This was my first crush, we were both around 7 years old or 8. Few weeks later I had to switch schools, my family couldn't afford to send me to the better school anymore so I had to go to the shitty one, and I found out the girl also went to that school though she was a year younger than me.
Later on I would see her a lot in the playgrounds and I was always shy but I would try to talk to her and shit. When puberty started to hit around 8 I started to try to bully her a little to impress her JFL, like when we were playing football with all the boys from the hood after the match we would sit on the playground and she was there too with other hood girls and I would try to talk shit about her friend.
One time I did that, I was talking shit about her and she went back to her home, so I was like yeee I won! But then she came out with a bucket full of water and she fucking threw the bucket at me, JFL it was brutal I was very wet. That turned me on TBH, sounds cucked but whatever idc, it is the truth. Anyway, after that I really wanted to fuck her even tho I didn't know this yet ofc since I was 8.
One time we were playing the game of bottle, and It landed on me and my friend gave me a challenge to kiss her, which she did not object to. That was fucking the crucial point of my life. And what did I decide to do? I picked a different challenge instead like a retard. I could have fucking kiss my crush and instead I decided to do a challenge of fucking a street sign. Like play-sex. JFL it was so fucking cringe and over. I would orbit her a couple more times but then my retarded parents decided it was great idea to immigrate from this slav shithole, I mean I don't really blame them but tbh I honestly truly believe my life would not be as fucked as it is if I haven't had immigrated to UK against my will. I had a good social circle going back in my slav shithole, had NONE of that here. I was gonna gymmaxx and shit in slav land, but here I got bullied hard, I started cope eating and shit it was brutal, giga stress, started balding at 18, couldn't speak the fucking language, I still have a fucking slav accent to this day, could never fit in never, I never fit in here for a single day. It's over for me here, I was never a part of this society, I was denied this I TRIED.
Anyway that short time I was orbiting my crush and she seemed cordial with me, perhaps she even liked me. That was the only happy moment of my life I could really say I was 'happy'. I had hope, I was looking forward to the next day, I enjoyed the moment. I didn't have that ever since that day, It never happened.
And before some retard call me a fakecel I am the only incel on this forum with a confirmed face rating of sub3 so fuck off.
There was a single, short period of time in my life where I could describe myself as 'happy'. It didn't last very long, there was a girl I had a crush on when I was around 6 years old or 7 I don't remember but I was pretty young. We lived in those soviet-era complexes in our slav village, it's not really a village it was more of a city but it was a small city so it was a mix of village/city, but anyway the way I met her is straight out of a movie.
I had a long rope that I would throw down from my concrete balcony, I tied a single plastic soldier to the rope and a plastic bag, so I would pretend to parachute him off the balcony but since the plastic soldiers were very expensive to me I tied the rope so I could get him back up to my balcony after I was done. But one day, somebody grabbed on to the rope and giggled, it was a female voice, I looked down and saw some woman roughly my age holding the rope, I was shy so I instantly hid myself in my balcony, and took the rope back with my soldier on it, I used a lot of strength to get it back I wasn't gonna let no hoe steal my plastic soldier, I only had like 10 of them JFL.
But a few moments later, I untied my soldier and decided it was a good idea to send a message down. I got some paper, wrote a message on a pencil, I don't even remember what I wrote now, but I tied the message to the rope and send it down to the woman. She wrote something back and I got the message. I later send another message inviting her to meet with me in my house. Which she did, she came up and we talked a little and played a bit.
This was my first crush, we were both around 7 years old or 8. Few weeks later I had to switch schools, my family couldn't afford to send me to the better school anymore so I had to go to the shitty one, and I found out the girl also went to that school though she was a year younger than me.
Later on I would see her a lot in the playgrounds and I was always shy but I would try to talk to her and shit. When puberty started to hit around 8 I started to try to bully her a little to impress her JFL, like when we were playing football with all the boys from the hood after the match we would sit on the playground and she was there too with other hood girls and I would try to talk shit about her friend.
One time I did that, I was talking shit about her and she went back to her home, so I was like yeee I won! But then she came out with a bucket full of water and she fucking threw the bucket at me, JFL it was brutal I was very wet. That turned me on TBH, sounds cucked but whatever idc, it is the truth. Anyway, after that I really wanted to fuck her even tho I didn't know this yet ofc since I was 8.
One time we were playing the game of bottle, and It landed on me and my friend gave me a challenge to kiss her, which she did not object to. That was fucking the crucial point of my life. And what did I decide to do? I picked a different challenge instead like a retard. I could have fucking kiss my crush and instead I decided to do a challenge of fucking a street sign. Like play-sex. JFL it was so fucking cringe and over. I would orbit her a couple more times but then my retarded parents decided it was great idea to immigrate from this slav shithole, I mean I don't really blame them but tbh I honestly truly believe my life would not be as fucked as it is if I haven't had immigrated to UK against my will. I had a good social circle going back in my slav shithole, had NONE of that here. I was gonna gymmaxx and shit in slav land, but here I got bullied hard, I started cope eating and shit it was brutal, giga stress, started balding at 18, couldn't speak the fucking language, I still have a fucking slav accent to this day, could never fit in never, I never fit in here for a single day. It's over for me here, I was never a part of this society, I was denied this I TRIED.
Anyway that short time I was orbiting my crush and she seemed cordial with me, perhaps she even liked me. That was the only happy moment of my life I could really say I was 'happy'. I had hope, I was looking forward to the next day, I enjoyed the moment. I didn't have that ever since that day, It never happened.
And before some retard call me a fakecel I am the only incel on this forum with a confirmed face rating of sub3 so fuck off.
G
bittersweet story. at least u had little glimpses of positive interactions with a foid even though it was juvenile and short lived.
can’t even remember anymore
i haven't felt real joy since late 2021
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