First time I thought about it I actually was close to doing it. I was 12 years old, it was super late at night and I went into the kitchen grabbed the biggest knife I could find and put it to my wrist. I stood there for maybe 5 minutes before I chickened out and put the knife away. Turned on my xbox and just played video games for the rest of the night. (All of this in videogame ofc)
The next time was when I was 15. I was in San Francisco and my family had got a super cool room with a big balcony (it was actually a presidential suite). Man that room was so cool. Anyways it was very close to the top story overlooking union square. Couldn't sleep and was feeling very sad. I remember going out to the balcony and looking down thinking I should do it. I started thinking about how my family and mom would react so I didn't do it and went to bed. (All of this in videogame ofc)
Then at 19, during the middle of my shift at work, it was a fucking hectic day at work. I thought about how shitty my life was and how fucked up my job was. I just thought to myself if I had a gun I would blow my brains out. (All of this in videogame ofc)
I'm good now I haven't thought about anything like that seriously for a little bit. Yes there's days I'll feel shitty but not to the point like the days listed above. (All of this in videogame ofc)