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Serious When Was The First Time You Thought About Killing Yourself?

  • Thread starter lifeisfucked215
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I personally had very depressive episodes at the ages of 18, 19 and 20. And not a single bitch helped me. Noone was even curious, noone wanted to listen. I guess after all this shit you just become apathetic enough to not GAF.
 
13 years old.
 
I thought about it at age 13 and seriously had a plan at age 15 and then again at 16. I've been coping ever since because my health issues got a lot better.
 
When I was very young kid. Maybe preteen. I would sometimes take my mom’s biggest kitchen knife and put it next to my abdomen and think about plunging it in. Once I also took like 4 aspirin thinking that would do something lol, as a kid I didn’t know. Then in my early 20s I thought about shooting myself in the head with a shotgun.
 
I was age 11 and puberty had begun to kick my ass
 
~15 years old at the start of high school is when I was the most suicidal. Went on and off for my whole stay in HS.
When I was very young kid. Maybe preteen. I would sometimes take my mom’s biggest kitchen knife and put it next to my abdomen and think about plunging it in.
Tried that in my senior year of HS when I was shoveled with exams and homework and my grades were plummeting. It was too scary and I backed out of it pretty quickly, though.
 
cant recall.....many years/faggeries have passed
 
i’ve written like 14 suicide notes from like grade 7. i used to think of going in a super passive and pg way. but i’ve become more unhinged as time passes. i caught myself thinking about taking a pocket knife to the jugular and just bleeding out like a emo fag somewhere in the woods so some roastie walking her sex pet will stumble across my corpse and have to go to therapy
 
I always think about it and fantasize about it, for as long as I can remember. I don't plan on acting on it, it's a cope I guess. Nice to think about
 
I think of it everyday. I am constantly depressed
 
I am surprised you would feel such feelings at that young age, usually the "its over" years are in your 20's. For me i rather not remember but i know for sure i have been in some really shitty mood for the last couple of years.
 
Even if your life is miserable, choosing to keep going in spite of it is so based. Like you can look at all the soy normies that say they want to kill themselves after going through a simple break up, then you feel better about yourself knowing all the shit you've had to go through.
 
I was 17 when I first flirted with the idea but didn't feel willing enough to go through with it
 
ever since 2019
But I kept on bailing
Now I regret not killing myself in 2019
 
First time I thought about it I actually was close to doing it. I was 12 years old, it was super late at night and I went into the kitchen grabbed the biggest knife I could find and put it to my wrist. I stood there for maybe 5 minutes before I chickened out and put the knife away. Turned on my xbox and just played video games for the rest of the night. (All of this in videogame ofc)

The next time was when I was 15. I was in San Francisco and my family had got a super cool room with a big balcony (it was actually a presidential suite). Man that room was so cool. Anyways it was very close to the top story overlooking union square. Couldn't sleep and was feeling very sad. I remember going out to the balcony and looking down thinking I should do it. I started thinking about how my family and mom would react so I didn't do it and went to bed. (All of this in videogame ofc)

Then at 19, during the middle of my shift at work, it was a fucking hectic day at work. I thought about how shitty my life was and how fucked up my job was. I just thought to myself if I had a gun I would blow my brains out. (All of this in videogame ofc)

I'm good now I haven't thought about anything like that seriously for a little bit. Yes there's days I'll feel shitty but not to the point like the days listed above. (All of this in videogame ofc)
Cant remember
 
When I became a teenager I od'ed on my moms heroin.
 
Never really a specific date or instance, just feelings of rage or sadness that come over me as I think about pulling the plug with a gun or a knife. I just want the pain to end or to find some purpose in my life.
 
first time i was 6 or 7, almost jumped in front of a train
 
ever since 2019
But I kept on bailing
Now I regret not killing myself in 2019
I can relate, I almost did it in 2017 by cycling into the path of a truck but overshot it and missed the truck falling into the bushes. I havent been able to bring up the courage again since, brutal
 
Seventeen. The first girl I ever really cared about, who I had known all through high school, brutally rejected me and told me she never really even liked me as a friend. Looking back, I think that was my first black pill.

But that was nigh on a decade ago. It's happened lots of times now, so I'm used to it.
 
I kept telling myself it will get better but it never did. It's beena downward spiral every year:cryfeels:
I can relate, I almost did it in 2017 by cycling into the path of a truck but overshot it and missed the truck falling into the bushes. I havent been able to bring up the courage again since, brutal
 
At birth...

Tried to rope on the umbilical cord... The dr spanked me for my attempt.
 
Maybe sometime when I was 25 after yet another time wasting bullshitting bitch fucked me over.

It’s hard to say exactly.

So much of my life is a blur.

I just try to sleep as much as I can in hopes that I never wake up.
 
At 12. At 16 I actually tried doing it but failed. I still think about doing it every single day.
 
Maybe sometime when I was 25 after yet another time wasting bullshitting bitch fucked me over.

It’s hard to say exactly.

So much of my life is a blur.

I just try to sleep as much as I can in hopes that I never wake up.
Fucking brutal. Rejection is always the worst :feelsbadman: life is such a joke
 

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