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When did you realize it never began for you?

Better_Off_Dead

Better_Off_Dead

Self-banned
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Joined
May 23, 2025
Posts
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I'm a cart attendant at stater bros. I was told I got this job because "it fits me". All my coworkers are in highschool, I'm 27.

Something about this made me realize, wow I'm a fucking loser. people don't ever accept my help.

Just a few weeks ago, an item fell out of this ugly foids cart, I picked it up for her and she said "I got it" and walked away.

I guess I'm overthinking but if I looked like Cole Sprouse, I would have gotten "Thank you Sir" or something.

:feelsrope:
 
Where do I begin bro...
The consistent dismissive and uninterested looks? The loneliness, or never being invited to basically ANYTHING and doing everything I do solo?
 
within my first year of uni
 
When I looked at myself in the mirror and reflected upon my life and the experiences I had lived through.
 
I think I realized it never began for me the first time I started to understand and recogonize my own thoughts as a child, I would sit for hours and think about life and the world and one day I just realized that I was subhuman, probably around the age of 7
 
when I constantly got bullied for my looks.
 
I have been a nihilistic doomer since I was 11
 

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